Should I Let My Daughter Wear Heels??

Ok I just have to interject because I think people are being really unfair about these shoes! Did anyone (besides Heidi :) open the link?? They are adorable! Yes, maybe they are a bit tall but honestly they are cute and modest and trendy and I don't see anything wrong with them. Plus this is a special occasion, it's not like she's wearing them every day to school. I think it's fine if she's taller than Dad, but if dad has a problem with it, I agree that he should be the one to tell her. I'm not a man so I don't really know how much this issue is an actual factor but dad has a good perspective on boys and their feelings, so maybe if he feels it's a big deal he should talk to her about it, if he doesn't, then I think it's great and I think she will love being taller than her dad!

I don't know. I'd say let her wear them. If she can wear them properly without stumbling around unbalanced. 5'7" is not really tall. I'm the same height. (But I'm not 13, and will probably still grow more) But what shoe she chooses to wear doesn't have to be determined by the height of her date. It really doesn't. She might choose (one day) to wear a smaller heel if her husband/boyfriend/date is not as tall as she, but that should be up to her.

When I wear heels (not work stuff, but real heels --2 inches or more) I'm the same height as my husband. He doesn't mind. We can see eye-to-eye. ;)

I would just let it go. She's going to be wearing the shoes again, probably, and it won't matter how tall dad is when she wears them. If she loves the shoes, let her wear them.

Just my opinion - and many disagree - but 4" heels are ridiculous on anyone let alone a 13 yr old.
The bunions, the ankle twists, what it does to your skeletal alignment/joints/posture/muscles etc - it's not worth it and often costly to correct.
My mom's friend was just under 5 ft tall, wore very high heels most of her life and because of that she couldn't stand barefoot with her feet flat on the floor - her calf tendons became short and she had to have surgery to fix it - all because of her shoes and her fixation over her height.

Granted I went through a period of stupid shoes in high school but got over it by the 2nd sprained ankle.
That being said, and I know it's her Dad - but why should she ever care about who is taller than who in any relationship?

https://www.consumerhealthdigest.com/general-health/10-re...

Personally, I think 4" heels are insane on anyone. Is your daughter at all used to wearing heels? If she isn't, I think it's wiser to start with a much shorter heel.

I never where a heel more than 1", and I try to always where flats. Heels just hurt too much.

We've all just got to get past the obsession with body "imperfections"! If we want our girls to stop getting upset about being too fat, too thin, too anything, then the men and boys in our lives have to get past the idea that height or muscles make them more or less of a man. If you want to get your daughter to focus on a boy's WORTH and the way he treats her, then she should not be judging anyone by something they cannot control - such as height! Surely your husband is used to being the height he has been for many years. You say, "I can't decide if I should do something" - what are you going to do? You can't make him taller, you can't make her shorter. All you can do is make them both focus on superficial things. Or you can decide that this is your problem and you need to re-think the images you were brought up with.

If she can walk in 4" heels, fine. My guess is, she'll have them off in a half hour anyway because she won't be used to walking or dancing that way.

BTW I really hope the school or whoever is sponsoring the dance has given plenty of thought to all those kids who don't have fathers.

Just my opinion and I am probably in the minority here, but we all know doctors have said, high heels are bad for our posture, our spine, our hips, our knees, our feet. There is so much research showing heels are 'Bad'. The higher, the more pressure on our body.

I wish designers would go back to the old 2" or less heels so our younger girls could save their bodies. Plus many times when you go to parties, weddings etc, you see people dancing without their shoes; why buy them in the first place. How many times have we send video of a model falling because she is trying to balance herself?

We hear too many ladies who sit at news desk on TV talk about when their feet are not exposed to the camera, they put on a slipper or flat shoe.

Like I said, I am probably in the minority. My basic dress shoe is a flat and every once in a while, wearing a dress a 2" heel. I think if we as adult women stop wearing the spike heels so much, our children will mimic what we do and teach them why higher is unhealthy.

Let it go! Seriously, I am 6' and I never thought twice if I was taller than the person I went out with. With high heels or just in general because I am tall. This gives your daughter only a complex to think she did something wrong being taller than her dad.

Adjust to the situation and be happy about her hight!

I personally think those shoes are inappropriate for a 13 year old because they will hurt throughout the night and possibly damage her feet. They're too high and inflexible. A lower wedge or kitten heel would have been more appropriate.

That said, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and comfort level in heels and your husband will be fine. He's probably more freaked out to realize she's growing up and becoming a young woman, than he is about the height difference.

Anyway, you've already shown them to her, how exactly would you explain not letting her wear them? She shouldn't be made to feel self-conscious about her height. There's nothing wrong with her being taller than a boy, even a boy as important as her Dad.

Let her decide what she's comfortable wearing. If she can handle 4" heels for a few hours, then say, "You Go Girl" and let her do it. But if she's at all uncomfortable you could also buy her a pair of ballerina flats or low wedges to keep in a purse, for when her feet start to hurt at the dance.

My concern with the wedge heels you linked to is safety. If this is her first pair of heeled shoes, she is not used to the gait change that happens. Falls or twists, even on flat surfaces, can happen when an inexperienced girl goes from flat to high, with no mid-range practice. Even if she doesn't fall, her feet are going to hurt within an hour. She really should have a heel that is closer to 1" as a first heeled shoe, especially to a dance.

As for her height vs her father, that's irrelevant and doesn't need to be considered.

There is nothing wrong with tall women wearing heals. Now, that fact that heels are bad for our bodies is something to consider, but for one night that is really a non-issue. Let your daughter be, her father will get over it if he feels funny about it, and really that is his problem if he does. Do you really want to teach your 13 year old daughter that she should change herself or what she likes in order to please or ease the egos of men?

Four inch heels are quite high in general .. even for wedges (I like wedges). I've never done more than 3 inch and those were quite painful by end of night.

As for taller than dad .. I'd let that go. I think men can handle it. I'm not sure what that would be teaching your daughter - that she has to forgo fashion (what she's ok with) for your husband's ego. My friend towers over her husband and he's cool with her being even taller in heels. It shows he's comfortable in his own skin and that he's happy she is too.

I get why you're concerned (you're looking out for him) but he's ok with it - let it go.

As for the 4 inches being appropriate for a 13 year old teen ... here, girls wear birkenstocks to dances half the time so it's a lot more casual and based on comfort. So I can't really comment on that. I just think as far as comfort goes, 4 inches may be quite high - especially for dancing in.

what a beautiful height for your daughter! I call it "model" height. My girl is 5'9" at 17. So I hear you. Maybe just get a 1/2" wedge this way your daughter will be more the same height as her Dad. Either way I'm sure the dance will be wonderful and your hubby sounds like a great dad!!

Those are adorable, age appropriate heels - even if they're tall. It sounds like you wear heels a lot, so you understand the comfort/foot health risks - so I'll spare you that. I think you absolutely let her wear them. Otherwise I imagine she'd be the only of her friends without a cute pair of heels.

However, I don't like that everyone's downplaying the fact that your husband may feel uncomfortable - don't think you can blame him at all for that. My teen daughter is taller than me, and I remember how strange that felt as a mother. I can't imagine how it would feel as a man to be dwarfed by your 13 year old daughter. I don't think it's worth her not wearing them, but I do think it's worth a conversation. It's probably never even crossed your daughters mind - she's probably just all giggles about being taller than dad.

Yes. If you look at the other girls you will see most of them wearing ridiculous heels that are so too old for them. But it's a particular event and she will feel like a princess.

Those shoes are adorable and age appropriate. She should wear them and have fun with it, and good for your husband for being a good sport about it!

That's so sweet! It really warms a mama's heart to see that kind of bonding, especially during the teenage years! I say let her wear them. Chances are she'll kick them off half an hour in. :)

They are cute. But if she's actually planning to dance and doesn't usually wear heels, unless she dances barefoot, her feet are gonna hurt a LOT. Ask her about that.