Siblings or No Siblings?

I think that is great. If you decide to have more, you can always consider adoption, but I think only children do just fine.

T.

I think one is great. There can be lots of special people in our lives, we don't have to be brother and sister with all of them. As long as your daughter is loved she will be great.

welll...you have a good attitude about it, I mean you cant guarantee anything so dont beat yourself up about it.i always wanted two also, but my daughter is high needs so she keeps me busy so sometimes I think I wont have another and if I do I will deff. space them out. I find it funny personally when people tell me that they want to have them close togehter so they can be friends. well...their is no way to be sure they will be friends, they might not...of course they might be bff too, but you cant be sure. I say that there are so many kids out there that your child will have a friend, it might be a sibling or it might not, but not too many children go friendless. I love my sis bc she is my sis, but we are night and day and were never friends. My husband is in the same boat with his sister.. There are some siblings that are bff and some that hate each other, you can never tell. Also if you have an only child there are many chances for that child to have friends all over the place of course, just not one living in the home. I am not beating myself up over it, if I have two great and if I dont for whatever reason I will just do my best to make sure my daughter friends and is involved outside the home. I dont think either way she will be damaged. and I do agree w/ the person w/ one daughter, having one does mean that you can focus more on them and ensure that they will have more things that they need in the future esp. if your budget is tight .

We have a 15 yr old daughter, very well rounded, very spoiled yes HOWEVER, very structured, disciplined and she knows...unconditional love.

She is active in cheerleading, honors classes, highest orchestra level in her high school, consistent honor roll, black belt in Tang Soo Do, etc.... VERY strong willed and we just try to redirect that to a positive....

When she was born (actually when I was pregnant) I knew this w as it for me as in completing our family.

We have no regrets and if you ask her....she loves being an only. She is well taken cared for, planned for (college, wedding, car, etc), and has full support to fly away from our nest with no debt.

We are blessed and she loves it. One thing to keep in mind.... we love vacations.... since she was about 12, we will take along one of her friends with us on vacation (at our expense) to keep her company so we ALL have fun. We just got back from FL tonight and we all had a great time.

I thought that when i had my first son,I thought he was gonna be it. I met a wonderful man around the time he was 4 and decided to have another child. We suffered a miscarriage around the 8 week mark. I was devistated, but decided to try again as soon as my doc said it was ok. I was told after the miscarriage, that it would be high risk for me to try again. I now have 2 beautiful boys, one 6 yo and oned 4 mo. My older son loves his baby brother, so it all worked out for me. I'd say do what you feel is right and good.

Good luck

I so know where you are coming from. Hubby and I also thought that two children was a great number. Well my pregnancy and delivery were very difficult for many reasons, the doctors had me do some test a few weeks after delivery (mainly regarding the heart) and found nothing wrong BUT that meant the pregnancy is what caused the biggest issue of my heart not being able to keep up (even thought after all the test they all say I have a very strong heart). Mystery. The OBgyn told us I would have a high risk pregnancy the next time around, even if no problems are seen they would want to keep a closer watch on me (and I completely agree with that). Anyway we decided as you did not to tempt fate, I would rather be here for my daughter and husband then put my life (and unborn child if pregnant) at risk of losing both or one of your lives. Of course who knows what would happen but we are using protection and decided that if it really is meant to be for us to have a second God will break the condom and make my birth control not work (It happened with my first pregnancy!).

We also have in the back of your minds that we can always adopt and we would adopt a child young then our daughter BUT that would be years from now so the adopted child would be around 8/10 years old. Just a thought, since it will not involve you getting pregnant just a lot of paper work & waiting :)

I am an only child and I have always wanted a sibling. As far as me having more children, I have a 18 month old girl, they will be spaced out due to the pregnancy, I just want to wait till she is older to try again.
As long as children are loved and you and your partner are ok with it then you can leave it as it is. I always like to answer this as I was very lonely growing up without siblings. My mom wasn't able to have any other children so it wasn't an option.

There are many kids out there that needs homes too, adoption wont be an option for us due to the cost but it is an option for some!

I think an only child with a mother is better than an only child or multiple children with no mother.

Only children have their drawbacks socially, but so do multiple children. Each child in his/her own life has different needs.............work with them individually to create a strength out of those needs.

If you are dead set on having more, but don't want to risk the physical part.......adopt, foster, etc. If you are not dead set on having more, then maybe 1 is perfect for YOUR family! No number is perfect. Don't count on the siblings to be there for each other.........my sibling and I are not. My husband and his sibling were when young, but not now. But, I have also witnessed where siblings are best friends. You never know! So, don't make that your deciding factor. If you are still unsure, pray about it!!!

My dad is an only child but he went on to marry and have 5 kids. My mom is one of 5 kids too. While I love the big family idea, I think having only 1 is right for some parents, especially when the risk of having another puts your health at risk. I agree that if God wants you to have another, it will happen but that we have to be responsible with our own health as much as we can and just know that he will take care of what we can't control.

The only thing I have become more aware of (with the case of only children) is that as they grow up and get older, they are the only "family" there to help care for aging parents and to deal with their affairs. One child to come over and fix ____ or maintain ______ or to deal with this paperwork or just to keep an eye on them and make sure that they are still faring well on their own. With siblings, adult children can share that workload. I am not saying that caring for and spending time with our aging parents has to be burdensome, but hopefully you can understand my rambling.

The real question isn't about pregnancy, it's about family size. Once you decide what that should be, you can accomplish it in many ways, based on health and financial issues. My adorable granddaughter is 6 now, and an only child. She was held back from kindergarten at 5 because she tested "unready" in several catagories, despite being very bright. She is still having some small issues in school, and I think the majority of her "problems" stem from being an only child. She struggles with making friends, sharing, taking turns, and actually listening and having a conversation. (I was a major caregiver since birth, so believe that she had plenty of books and individual attention) We can talk all we want to a child about taking turns, for instance, but if he doesn't have to do it as a part of life, it doesn't really sink in as a rule of life. The biggest thing that the single child misses out on is routine conversation. A parent or grandparent or caregiver can only provide so much attention in a day. The rest of the time, an only child is left to amuse himself with books, TV, whatever. He may have no problem entertaining himself, but he is missing out on developing verbal skills such as forming sentences, paying attention to the speaker, responding correctly to questions, learning manners, taking turns, sharing, looking out for someone else's welfare, the list goes on and on. So, back to the real issue--- how many children do you and your hubby want? You can read up on family sizes, talk about it, and decide from there. Remember, you are not leaving it in God's hands, God is leaving it in your hands.

I know families with multiple children who have real dislike for each other. I know siblings who adore each other. I know single kids who are happy and well adjusted.

Our ideas about what's true often interferes with our ability to observe what's true. My own observations suggest that any family can feel pretty lucky if they are grateful for what they have and don't envy what they don't have.

There's always surrogacy, adoption, fostering...I'm sure you'll find whatever works best for your family:)

Sometimes God only blesses you with one child and sometimes it's more. There are women out there who would love to be the mother of one child. If it's dangerous for your, one is enough. If it's in God's plan for your life you will get more. =)

It is not worth risking your life to give your child a sibling.
How about adoption? There are so many children of all ages in foster care wanting a good home here in America and other countries as well.