Simplifying Life

I recommend looking at what activities or events you are doing that makes things feel so hectic. Make a list of what happens every week, then make a list of things that come up periodically like extended family, trips, etc. Then review the list to see what things can be eliminated.

Make sure that at least two weeknights there is nothing planned. In our household, I get one night for my activity, my husband gets one night for his activity, and my son gets one night for his. And only plan one thing for each weekend day at the most. I know some people who have extended families putting a lot of pressure on them to come for visits. Limit each side of the family to one visit a month if they are in town and less frequently if it involves a long drive.

If shopping is taking up a lot of time, consider doing one of the delivery services like Simons Delivers. If cooking and meal prep is taking up a lot of time then think about doing one of the meal prep places like Meals in a Bag (formerly Mix It Up Meals), Let's Dish or another. I do that and it saves me a ton of prep and clean up time at home.

Read The Intentional Family by Dr. William Doherty. Read everything by him, while you are at it. He is from the U of M and has awesome advice for Taking Back Your Family (another title). There is a website called Putting Families First (not sure of the address but you can Google it). He was just in the news talking about birthday parties and how families go insane and spend a fortune.

I agree with the other poster when she recommends eliminating some of the stuff that makes you feel so busy. If it doesn't line up with the value of togetherness, cut it out. Your kids don't need a ton of activities or a ton of toys - they need to spend time with you guys (NOT in the car).

I used to have my oldest daughter in something every night of the week thinking it was "fun" for her and "enriching". However, we ate in the car and were always rushing around, stressed out at each other. I pulled her from everything except one night and things got much more peaceful.

Research shows your kids need stability which means a predictable routine. Sounds like your work schedules are predictable. You just need to maybe form some boundaries and maybe start saying 'no' to some things to create that routine in other areas of your life as well.

Do it now - your kids are little. Don't wait until they are signed up for 8 million things!

I think I know how you feel... some days are so hectic at work and just as busy when I get home (with no break in between)... and then it's time to try to relax for a little while or maybe just go to bed.

I've also used Simon delivers and it's totally worth it. It helps me plan meals more ahead of time too through the shopping online process.

My daughter's only 2 so we don't have a ton of activities either. Little kids just take a TON of time and energy. It's helped me to remind myself she won't be little for very long... someday she'll want to go do stuff by herself and I'll probably have too much time on my hands :)

The other thing I would say is that I've been working on lowering my standards: clean the house less often, accept that a project might take a month instead of a weekend, be ok with not returning emails right away, etc... It doesn't always work (sometimes I'm still stressed out or disappointed in things not getting done) but sometimes it helps.

I've also pulled way back on spending/shopping. I only go to buy clothes 2 times/year - - for warm weather and cold weather. Otherwise if we really need something I buy it online.

Lastly - - making time for yourself. I guard my yoga time no matter what. It sound cliche but it does help me maintain patience and perspective when things get crazy. We're all doing the best we can!

V.,
The best thing I have ever done was to put a calendar out for everyone to see and schedule almost everything. This way ther are less last minute surprises and you can look at all of your "stuff" and decide which ones to simply cross off and say "no" to. A few other little things I have done are:
Shop for groceries on-line (Simons). The extra money is so worth the time it gives me at home and the stress of when will I shop. Shop for safe household products on-line (become a preffered member with Melaleuca -the on-line wellness super store). Then you only need to visit Target once a month or less for paper products everything else is taken care of. You can even get your diaperson line for great prices at 1800diapers.com.
Last winter I went to one of those "let's dish" type places where you make meals ahead of time. This was a great family time saver. You and your hubby could even go together and make it a date night! Best of luck to you and your family.