So Counciling Again...

This would bother me so much too. I really feel for you. I think right now you should continue to go to counseling and monitor any chanes in your kids. I would only use the courts as a last resort if you notice a major difference with your children's behavior/attitude. If your kids are doing fine in school or daycare, as hard as it is, I think you have to let it be. They will see their step mom for her true colors as they get older. If you feel in your heart that your kids need to be protected from this woman, then by all means go through court and be sure you are documenting everything to prove your case. So sorry you are going through this.

Your daughter lives with you? If so, you have much more influence on her than her step-mother. I understand why you feel so bitter. It's to be expected. However, I urge you to now focus on your attitude. YOu can't change her. Your daughter needs a warm, happy mother. She needs you to be open with her, tho not about her step-mother.

Good for you for agreeing and sticking with it to show respect to the step-mother. Your daughter, when she's older, will recognize the bigger person. However, even if you don't say anything, your bitterness will show. Try your best to forgive the step-mother. Find Christ's love for her.

Right now, you're in a battle of wills with this woman. You recognize she wants to be in control. The best way you can deal with that is to stop fighting that. She won't change. Know that you're the one with the most influence over your child. Let her make a fool of herself.

Pick your battles. So what, if she signs your daughter out. Her father was with her. Yes, technically she shouldn't do that but is it worth fighting over?

Don't go back to court. That just continues the battle. You can't win. Continue with counseling. Use it to become a happier person who is better able to deal with her.

You could keep trying in counseling but it seems unlikely she will change. I would go back to court on the serious stuff and make sure the school has the court order with information about her not being allowed to pick the kids up. Then make sure the school/daycare knows the situation (give them a letter that explains who is and is not allowed to pick the kids up).

DON'T call her a child! Name calling is childish, dontcha think? As for getting the kids away from her-you can't since there is no immediate danger. I think you said she is 21 in a previous post-well guess what? She's acting like it! She has never been a step parent before and doesn't understand certain boundaries and why they exist. This is probably a relationship you will have to keep working at for years-it sucks but you will probably have to just lead by example. Act classy and don't lose your temper!

I think you need to let some of this go! I am a mom and a stepmom. And I can tell you from experience that you will never be able to change someone or enforce something at their house.
My husband and I do not get along with his EX, and she has tried alot of stuff. But once she has realized that no matter what she does or says, it will not cause us to fight or make a differencein our life, she has backed off. It has taken me years of torture to not let her affect me and my life.
I would concentrate on your kids. When you go to counseling, ask how you can personally let things go and be a better/happier person. Because in the long run, you will drive yourself crazy knitpicking what she does and says. I know it will be hard, and she may do somethings that are not right. But on their fathers time, its his time. The kids will learn whats right and wrong if you teach them with love and understanding. If your emotionals are involved they will see past that. They will see whats she all about without your input. It will be a battle but it will get easier.
Good luck!