So Many Feelings and So Much Time

Been there....done that! I know how it feels! A new baby is so consuming. I have not read through all the other responces but I can bet they all say about the same thing with the most important talking to a doctor. Another thing I did that made me feel WAY better is when my daughter was a couple of months old I had my hubby take care of her and went for a day at the beauty shop. Got my hair done, manicure, pedicure, face wrap,.......you would be suprised how much better you feel! Don't forget to take time for yourself, I know its hard at first, and you will be back to your old self very soon. Good luck! and congrats on your new baby!

Hi K.-

You're feelings are normal, however if you do seem overwhelmed by your feelings or you start to have any of the symptoms of postpartum depression talk to your doctor immediately. Here's a link to the info if you need it http://www.webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/pos...

As far as the typical "baby blues", just rely on your father and husband when you can. Leave the baby with your father or husband and go out with a girlfriend, talk to a friend on the phone or just take a nap. When you have to have your daughter with you try to get out of the house when you can. Go for a walk with her or take her shopping. Most babies are good at sleeping in their carrier or stroller while you shop during the first few months.

Are there any other moms in your neighborhood with babies? Try to get together and form your own little support group. As the kids get older, this will naturally become their playgroup.

Good Luck and it will get better. We've all been there!

K.

Congrats on the baby!!! This is the hardest time period, I promise it gets better, much better. I agree with the other moms responding, it is time to take some time out for yourself. Meet a friend for lunch or go to a movie. I know you are probably very tired, but just do it. As you begin to take back a little of yourself, you will begin to feel better. This will make you a better mom and wife also!!! Don't forget to take care of yourself, especially when you have family around.

I agree with the other responses and check with your doctor and make sure to take care of yourself and your own follow up appointments as well as your child's and be sure to share youre feelings with your doctor.

Try to get out of the house - staying in all the time can increase these feelings. I used to take my baby to the mall and just walk him around in his stroller - it felt great just to get out for an hour or so. When he started to get hungry I would leave and nurse him in the car or go home. Just a little time out does a lot.

Blessings to you and your baby, as she gets older, having a baby will open up new interests and opportunities for you and her - the time will go by so fast before you know it!

K.,

Congratulations on your little angel. I understand how you feel. I did have the same feeling. It's called baby blue. It could last just a few weeks, a months, or upto a year. I hope yours won't last that long. The first thing I'd like to suggest you to do is talking to your husband. You need to let him know how you feel. And the next step is if you're okay with it, maybe you can share it with your dad and people you trust. They can join you for a short walk or take you out for a short ride. And when you feel like all you do is changing diaper, have your husband or your dad help and you just go take a long bath. When you feel resentful, try to distract yourself to something else that you used to enjoy. If you feel like crying, cry. Important thing is don't be ashame to ask for help and don't compare yourself to others. That was my biggest mistake...y other people can take care of 3 kids and I couldn't just take care of 1, etc.

The mixed emotion is difficult to cope with. But it will get better and I hope you'll feel better soon :) If you need to talk, please do not hesitate to contact me.

P.

Hi K.,

It's a huge thing taking on this entirely new role in life and having this tiny person be totally dependent mostly on you. You're taking on a whole new identity in addition to who you already are... and it can be overwhelming! If this lingers or get's worse you should talk to your doctor, but remember that you are making an enormous adjustment right now. It's commonly a time of self doubt and uneasiness.

For me, besides my hormones getting back to normal, it was such a help as my first born became old enough to smile at me! I don't think my feet were anywhere near the ground the day I received that first smile! Then, more and more, you really get to know this little person! After a while, you start to wonder what the heck was so great about your life before your child became part of it. It does get much better, I promise. You are still you, and you always will be. But, you're evolving into a new you... one who will know what it's like to have your heart living outside your body and someday you'll even send it off to school! Just wait until you have to leave the parking lot that day!

If the weather is nice enough, go for a walk with the baby in the stroller. The endorphines and sunshine will do you much good. I walked and walked with my first born. It might also do your heart good to let other mommies "ooh and ah" over your baby - I don't know why, but that's such a wonderful part of having an infant.

Hang in there, beautiful! Things are about to get super fun and soon you'll only have a vague recollection of this awkward period. Big hugs and congratulations!!

~ T. K.

Congrats on the baby, and you are right, you are totally normal. I remember (vaguely, sleep deprivation is wicked) feeling those same things.
I dont have any tips/coping skills or advice... All I can say is that your baby wont be so tiny for long. Before you know it she will be on to the next stage, which brings its own joys and frustrations.
Talk with your OBGYN, she/he might have some hints for you.
Hang in there Momma!
T. S.

Hi K., My babies are 9 and 6 years old and the only advice that I have for you is Take it easy and take it one day at a time. If the house is dirty leave it for your husband, if the bed is not done, forget it! Your baby is only going to stay little for a very short time, enjoy your baby as much as you can. When your baby takes a nap take a nap with her! I wish a had taken the advice I am giving you know becuase I spent all of my time cleaning and worrying about the bed and all. I would actually feel fustrasted that the baby had woken up before I had finished and I ended up very tired at the end of the day! Believe me when I say that their is more time than life! Enjoy your baby as much as you can, they only stay small for little bit of time!
Z.

I had that too with my twins. I would cry at the drop of a pin. My advice to you is when that baby is sleeping..you sleep. Get the rest you need, the house, the laundry, etc....can wait. Get your husband to help with the chores. My husband would come home from work and the minute he walked in the door he was on duty....till about 11:00 p.m. He took care of the babies and gave them baths and fed them. I them had time to do the chores and had time to take time for myself. Bubble baths do wonders. When 11:00 rolled around, I was back on duty. I would them get up and do the feedings for the twins, etc. He would go to work the next morning and I would take naps with them. It sure helped me keep my sanity. The best thing about my husaband and his help was when he came home on Friday night--he was on duty till Sunday night 11:00 pm. That freed up my time on the weekend to get the things I didn't get done during the week. Plus on occasion I would meet with a friend for lunch and a movie--for a break.

My twins are now 9. My husband still comes home on Friday nights and he is the one who does the cooking for the entire weekend. It is just something that we kept up and I love being able to just get away with a friend for lunch, a movie, or a shopping date.

Good luck---just remember sleep when they sleep. Get your husband to kick in.

Best wishes.
Vickie