Son Is Going on 13 Months and His Sleeping Is Getting Worse

Updated on November 23, 2010
J.G. asks from Fort Huachuca, AZ
7 answers

A week after my son turned 1 he caught a cold, along with his 1st molar starting to pop in and a 2nd alittle after getting his cold and then getting his 12 month immunizations, he had been sick for a couple weeks. So we knew why he was having such a hard time sleeping.
We do have a bedtime routine and to end it we give him a bottle. For the longest time he would fall asleep while drinking and we would just lay him in his crib. He would wake maybe once or twice during the night. Well with in the last week and a half this doesn't work. Rocking him doesn't work either anymore. So 3 days ago with not knowing what to do about the situation we turned to the cry-out method. We are laying him down in his crib while still awake, We aren't letting him fall asleep while eating anymore. Then we cover him with a blanket, give him a kiss and say we are close by. The 1st two nights we let him cry in 15 minute intervals and then go in lay him back down, give him a kiss and leave. 1st night he woke 3 times, intial bedtime cied for an hour and 10 minutes then the rest for 7 minutes at most but last night he woke 6 times, intial bedtime fell asleep within 7 minutes but then 1st time waking took him 55 minutes to fall asleep. Today for his nap I bumped up the time interval to 20 minutes to let him cry. He was not having it today and cried from 9:37 am to 11:00 am. I finally took him out and sat him on hte couch. After about 15 minutes he fell asleep playing with the remote.
I am at a loss to what to do. It doesn't seem like the cry-out method is working. Am I starting to give up to fast? Is this method making him think its a punishment.
He freaks out when he is being put in the crib now. He knows whats coming. We started this cause we were having a hard time getting him to sleep and wanted him to be able to fall asleep on his own rather then have us coax him to sleep which was starting to take up to over an hour.
Does anyone have any advice?

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

You don't say what his nap and feeding schedule are. Is he napping too long or too late in the afternoon and making it difficult to fall asleep.

CIO doesn't work for some kids. It traumatizes them more and creates difficulty even getting them down.

I'd make sure his last nap ends by 3pm. He gets a big dinner. Then right after dinner, dim the lights, quiet voices, maybe a warm bath that's soothing, not loud and splashy. Then bring him to his room and don't leave. You can play quietly, read books, etc. Wait until you see HIM give you signs he's tired - staring, slower movements, eye rubbing, yawning, etc. If you're going to give one last bottle, do it at the beginning of the bedtime routine. Then maybe sit or walk with him, sing a night night song, then put him down.

You don't want him to keep associating a bottle and being rocked with the ONLY way to fall asleep.

If he screams or fusses, just reassure him and say, "Time for night night. Head down." Rub his back or butt, shush him.

Try not to pick him up again. Definitely don't give the bottle again.

Just know that WHATEVER you do, it will become a habit.

So if he fusses, decide now how you want to react. If you pick him up, then you'll keep having to reassure him that way. If you turn on music, then that will be your habit. So decide now with your husband what your "plan" will be, and give it a couple of weeks to try it out.

Best wishes

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

A good book to read is "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Payne (I think last name is correct--it's been a few years since I checked it out at library). Cry it out method is one that never worked with our first and never would try it again on next 2 kids. Saw in our first that it encouraged insecurity and more night waking. Honestly, I rock all my kids to sleep until age 2 when they decide they are "too big" so I may not provide the answer you are looking for. Kids grow up so quickly, I realize now that this stage of nighttime parenting is rather short, though exhausting. Our 5 yr old was the worst sleeper ever (waking every 45 min all night long for weeks on end) but now sleeps 10-11 hours solid and puts herself to bed. You might want to make sure that your son doesn't have an ear infection and/or give motrin/tylenol for teething pain. Teething pain is a real bear. R., married nurse midwife mom of 3.

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T.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I would make sure not to give anything to eat or drink, at least 1-2 hours before bedtime. Get yourself into a "quiet down, peaceful routine" at bedtime. Keep his bedtime at the SAME time every night. This way he knows what to expect. As it gets closer & closer to bedtime, give him "reminders". At bedtime, sit in bed with him with the lights dim and read quietly to him. Make sure he is safe & sound when you are finished, kiss him goodnight and sweet dreams, tell him you love him, and you will be there in the morning when he wakes up. But, whatever you do, DON'T keep going into his room every time he cries or pick him up. If he keeps on going & going & going, calmly check on him. Tuck him back in (this is just to re-assure you that he's safe & sound) and leave the room. Keep at it. The hardest thing a Mother has to do is listen to her "baby" cry and not go running! But, you are not doing yourself and him any favors by doing that. I hope this helps, I know it worked for my son, and he grew up to be an Eagle Scout, National Honor Society, & graduated the top 1% in High School. He is currently working on his Masters in Business Finance. Good Luck to you and please hang in there, don't give up! I'm praying for you. <3

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P.S.

answers from Albuquerque on

Book: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. Seriously. To bed earlier and let him cry some. It will be ok. This is sooo hard. You will get through it.

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L.L.

answers from Phoenix on

I've tried supernanny's method of putting them in bed sit on the floor in the room without eye contact. When he gets up (and he will!) just lay him back down tell him it's time for bed and sit back down. Once he realizes you are not going to engage in play he will eventually settle down and fall asleep. The first nights of trying this you will be tired or wanting to give up but eventually he will go to sleep. Each night you do this (consistently) the length of time it takes for him to fall asleep will lessen. Good Luck!

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Our routine has change 100 times and will continue to change more.

He knows that if he cries for a long enough period of time, that you'll go in there. And I can understand how you must be dying during all of this, so maybe a change would be good.
I think you'll probably still need to let him cry. And you need to stop going in there at all.
But maybe lay down with him for a little bit while he calms down and luls into quiet? (Leave before he falls asleep) That's what we do now. We lay with DS on the floor for about 10 minutes while he winds down, and then we kiss him goodnight and we're done.

He doesn't need that bottle at bedtime. I would get rid of that completely. If you're starting a new routine entirely, just quit that cold turkey. Does he have something else to soothe with? Paci? Blanket? Stuffed animal? I would introduce one of those if he doesn't already have one.

Basically, just change up his routine completely. Crying will probably still be involved, but if you totally switch it up, hopefully it won't last long.

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I'd say if he's still sick or having lots of teeth pain, do not change his sleep schedule. Otherwise on top of feeling bad, his routine has changed. What i suggest since he used to fall asleep and now you are just putting him in bed, compromise. Rock him for a few minutes so he can get drowsy then put him in bed and leave. He'll probably still cry, but at least he'll have some cuddle/rocking time. I'd let him cry for a few minutes then go back in and rub his back and sing to him. See if this helps with him calming down. After you sing X number of songs, leave the room again. This is what we do with my son. I used to rock him to sleep but now he wants to go to sleep on his own. I sing to him then leave. He used to cry for a few minutes until I would come back in, then he'd lay right down and I'd rub his back for a few minutes then leave. Now, there is usually no tears after I sing to him and leave the first time.

Good luck!

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