Splitting a Dinner bill...would This Annoy You?

I think it is rude, and petty. I also dont' think there is a more fair way that you could do it. I would just tell him that you can give him a copy of the reciept if he would like it, and then let him know that next time he can be the one to pay the bill and handle all the calculations. :)

Shoot him an email back and tell him you can just split it 3 ways if he prefers, in which case his total is $90. I bet you get the money then, lol.

Copy the receipt and mail it to him ;) If he wants to be that petty, let him do the math for himself. People can be so cheap!

I think you were very fair.

$60 for three people, plus part of your parents' meal AND part of the tip? That actually seems LOW to me!

Don't worry about it. Some people are just cheap that way. God forbid they pay a cent more to treat their FAMILY.

You were fair and thoughtful in your calculations. LIke someone said, copy the receipt, send it to him, and drop the whole issue.

I would bet that he has always been, um, picky, right? Or tight with a buck? This kind of petty nickel-and-diming does not just start out of the blue; I bet it's typical for him but maybe it's the first time he's turned it on you. Pity his poor wife.

I hate! when people say if you say so! Roughly translated that means I still think you are a lying sack of xxxx but I am going to act like I am the better person by saying this. Now I feel better about myself at your expense.

Since I clearly don't like when people say that to me I would have emailed back please feel free to contact the restaurant to verify my numbers, I can put off paying for (insert whatever item will make him feel the worst) until you feel comfortable paying your share. :)

What you did is the most fair way to split up the bill. Most of the time when I am splitting bills the person with the biggest portion always goes with lets just split this three ways. It is kind of refreshing to see someone with the biggest portion being fair about it. :)

It sounds like you split the check appropriately. Your brother might not have realized how pricey the restaurant was and is just taking it out on you. I really wouldn't worry too much about it.

Email him a copy of the bill to "ease" his mind. You're 100% fair. Don't worry another minute on it. Happy Anniversary to your parents and what great children they have! :)

I would have done it like you. If I were your brother, I would want to see the receipt/other itemization, but I think that he went too far with everything after his "OK".

Ignore him. He is dealing with his own issues.

You did what I would have done! Don't worry about your brother. Tell him next time he can do it so you can question him!

Ugh, this is such a pet peeve of mine. With most people we just split the bill evenly and we don't get into nitpicking about who had what. But MY family is exactly the way you describe, especially my mother and brother. I find it so tacky. Don't know what you can do about it other than to just accept that this is how some people are :(

LOL! Your so nice to your brother!! If that was my brother I'd cut through the b.s and let him hear a piece of my mind. I'm surprised he's being so stingy, most guys in my family are happy to pick up the tab!

You were totally fair and since you explained your process to your brother when you sent him the $60 cost, he's being rude. I can see his initial reaction though since it is kind of odd that he's paying almost 1/4 of the bill when there were 11 of you. I bet it's that kids' meals are so cheap. You might want to mention that. $60 for his meal and 1/3 of your parents' anniversary seems very low on a stand alone basis, but as a % of the total, I can see it might strike him as a bit high. I reply back, "kids' meals are very cheap and no need to go on my say so, do the math yourself!"

Maybe he is one that really keeps track of who spends what...I would just email him a copy of the bill and be done with it.

He is a piece of work..

Yes send him the actual receipt and make a copy for your self..

I also agree that $60.. sounds like nothing compared to what I thought you were going to say his total was..

I was expecting $150.. For him.

You used a good logical approach to split the bill. If it were anybody but close family I would think that's rude. If my brother emailed me that, I wouldn't think it's rude at all.

I can see his logic. Out of a total of $260, his portion is $60. He is just one person out of the 11 that were there. If you look at it that way, it seems high. If you just took the total and divided it by 3 his total would've only been $86. It's hard to mentally understand how his portion is only $16 less for just him than it would be if yall had gone 3 ways down the middle. I might've looked at that twice too.

You were more than fair. He is being a jerk. Next time let him pay the bill and you give him your share later.

Your brother is being a jerk. Yes, he's being rude and petty. Perhaps he is stressed out about money in life right now. But it sounds like you did a great job showing him what things cost and that $60 for his meal plus a share of his parents seems like a pretty good deal to me. Tell him next time he can be in charge of the bill.

This is exactly why we all take turns! Or ask for separate tickets. If you do it nicely they have no issues with it. But mostly we take turns....friends and family...it always evens out eventually!

ETA: And by my calculations without drinks (of any kind) and tax estimating entree plates are $15...I am already at $42!

Let him figure it out...I guarantee he's not adding in tax and drinks!

The last remark he made is what made it petty. It's okay to question but then you sent him a copy of the receipt so he could verify the amount he's responsible for. I wouldn't bother saying anything about it - it's probably not the first time he's been like this, right? As long as he pays you, let it go.

Nope.

But to reality check him, send him what the total bill is and what your share is, including that you're tipping 25% and he's only tipping 20%.

Ask if he'd rather just split it in 1/3s at like $140 each? Or split so that you take care of your family, he his, and your nonwhining sib theirs... or the way you did it before.

Trust me, some people have NO idea what things cost. My ex used to yell at me at my $300 every 2 weeks grocery bill (effing ridiculous, there was no way I needed to shop at 5 stores, I was bankrupting him, etc.). Until he "did" the grocery shopping for a month, and the first 2 weeks he spent all $300 on snackfood that was gone in a week.

I think that is MORE than fair...at first I thought the post was going to be about splitting a meal 3 (or 2) ways even if one person only had water or didn't get an appetizer, etc.

I think he must have had no concept of how much the total bill was. Maybe next time email them in advance and lay out the guildelines liek you did for us. Then when he says it seems high, you can always say - well that's because YOUR parents like pricey meals...LOL.

I do not think you could have split it more fair unless you ACTUALLY had the server take his and 1/3 of your parents meal and put it on his card (or he paid cash) at the restaurant.

In 1982ish we took my grandma and her sister, my great aunt, on vacation with us. I can still hear the two of them bickering over pennies.
ONe would pay for something, hankies maybe for both of them, then they'd come back and hash out who owed who what. And when they bought the dinner, aye yi yi. I rememer my dad getting so frustrated with them.

Personally, I think he's being petty. If my sister and I went together to buy mom and dad dinner, we would split everything down the middle who cares who ate what , or she would buy one time and I the next. Of course we always joke about that dang penny one of us may owe the other.

Yes it is rude and petty, and not something I would do in that same scenario.

I would be tempted to email him back "just pay whatever you think is fair."

And then I would let him handle all the arrangements for such events going forward.

<<eyes rolling>>

I think that sounds like a perfect way to split the bill. I wouldn't worry about it. I think this always happens in this type of situation, because it always ends up costing a lot more than you think it will.

No more restaurant parties. Have a family potluck and call it a day. I get so tired of going out to pricey restaurants rather than enjoying our homes for family events.

You did it in the most fair way possible-your brother sounds like a bit of a jerk. He knows darn well what the prices are for his dinners. I just hope he ends up paying you.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to your parents! May they have many more happy years together!!

sorry - that sounds complicated. When we "split" a bill - we divide it equally in 3 parts - doesn't matter to us about family size - we're FAMILY - split it in thirds. all is done.

When we go out with friends, we don't itemize the bill - we split it in half. period. end of story. In many cases over the years - we end up picking up the tab and then the next time someone else picks up the tab. It all works out in the end.

Don't squabble with family or friends over money - it isn't worth it. If you can't afford to lose it - don't lend it. If you think you are getting the short end of the stick - get the money from them BEFORE...you can look at a menu and estimate the costs. If they can't afford it - then figure it out. Other than that? is it worth the anger over this? really?

That was a fair, and honestly the only way to accomplish it with out giving the server the hassle of splitting the bill. Now, I have been a server before for many years and splitting the bill it a pain, plus it often leaves us with a minimal amt regarding the tip and yes large parties are HARD to accomodate. I think it was sticker shock for your brother of the place you ate at honestly. Next time I would simply request from the server at the start of the meal split checks and then you cover your parents or other guest(s) of honor with no obligation of sharing from the siblings and allow them to cover themselves. If they hand you some cash great if not, no hard feelings. I would simply let this be your vent about your brother and move on.

You were being fair. He was being rude! Sometimes one does not realize when ordering, what the total cost is. He had a drink and dessert, his
meal and paid a portion for your parents. I think that is a very reasonable
price to pay. Hope you enjoyed your dinner out.

You did it in the fairest way possible. I mean your group was 6 people, no way should your single brother have paid a third of everyone's meals, especially since this was agreed upon prior to dinner.

He sounds a bit clueless but I think to call him a jerk, rude, and petty?

Probably he was caught off guard by paying for "O." dinner--with his third of his parents tacked on.

Forgivable, right?

(I hate this kind of hair-splitting, though, and he's lucky you even agreed to put THIS much time into figuring it out! Normally, with my family, someone just gets the check. It all evens out over time!)

Ughhh... He should have picked up the tab and figured it out then.. yuck!

Sometimes if you don't SEE the bill it can be hard to believe how high things are. Did he drink? And it wasn't JUST his portion. He had to pay for himself, plus one third of two other people. So if his meal was $20, your mom and dad each got $30 meals, then right there he is already at $50. I get that he's questioning it because it does seem high, but that's because he's thinking it's only his portion.

And yes, it's still rude of him.

You split it perfectly fair. I imagine he had sticker shock b/c he was just 1 person (+ 1/3 of your parents total) as opposed to your 6 + 1/3 of your parents total...if you feel the need, give him a copy of the receipt and he will figure it out himself.

That is only $20 each for himself, your Mom and your Dad...how much was he expecting 'his' share to be, I wonder?

Let it go. He is being petty.

For the record, when you said how many people and that it was at a nice restaurant I was expecting the total to be WAY higher...My husband and I are always the 'payers' when we go out as a family and the bills can get VERY high...IMO, your brother got off easy! :)

~I am always amazed at how many people on this board do not read the questions properly...I just skimmed the answers but one person was coming up with the fact that he had a GF with him (where did they pull that one from?) and another was saying he had 3 + your parents???

Nope. You are 100% fair and I think very accurate in your allocation of the "costs" to each sibling. Perhaps you should email a break-down of the way you did it along with a break-down of what it would have been had you just split the base into thirds (for each sibling) and then applied tax and tip. Just for comparison, you know.

And maybe he would think THAT was petty, but that's what I would do. ;)

I would say that next time just each group pay for their own meals at the venue and then you send them the "bill" for their part of the parents meal.

I would show him the total bill, how much you paid since you had more people and then reiterate his amount is $60.

Just break it down for him so he can see it is in fact only his portion.

No reason why you need to pay any more for him & his gf than you what you have already paid for your family's portion as that is exactly what is fair.

Don't worry if it rude or petty. Seems like you were more than fair in splitting it up so make him accountable for HIS portion & make sure he pays it.

Good luck!

I think what you did was pretty fair, although honestly, I think unless someone is a starving student (so ordered something OTHER than what they wanted because they could afford it), actually counting what each person eats is pretty petty for bill splitting.

I would have just taken the total, including tax and tip and divided by the number of non-parents. You then pay a share for each person in for whom you're paying (so you would pay 6 shares, brother pays 1, sister pays 2). Yes, you get stuck with a bigger chunk of your parent's meal, but HEY you also took up half the table and have two adults in your family.

HTH
T.

We did the same, but even bigger scale(12 adults and 14 kids...eek). It was a hassle figuring out who had what and adding/dividing etc. I did not want the scene at the restaurant, so I di the same as you. My siblings appreciated the effort that I put so I did not hear comments like this. I would try to ignore it, and tell him that he could handle the bill next time. I could send him the receipts and let him drink it all in, but probably unnecessary. It probably always a little more that we expect when you forget about paying for others and gratuity (did you check to make sure it wasn't already charged? Often already on the bill for parties more than 6 people)

My parents took 12 of us out for dinner last weekend. The restaurant doesn't serve liquor. The bill was $700. Tell your brother to suck it up and stop complaining. Geesh!