Our 2.5 year old resists bedtime. For weeks, we have been silently returning him to his bed after he gets up. He gets up out of his bed anywhere from 10-50 times a night before he finally falls asleep. We have a solid bedtime routine that we follow religiously and he's clearly tired at bedtime. Yet he gets out of bed over and over again. We don't react. We just put him back in bed. He usually comes to the door and then runs back to bed when we get to the door. Sometimes he throws out his lovies which we leave wherever he throws them, and we take him back to bed. This often goes on for an hour or so before he finally cries and falls asleep. We're sick of this and want him to just settle down. We've considered closing him in his room, but he tends to be anxious and we don't want bedtime to seem like a punishment or time out. What can we do to get him to stay in bed? We want our evenings back!!
Hi,
If you read to him in bed and then lay down with him for a few minutes he will probably fall right asleep
Ohhh the joys of sleep troubles! Before I get started, I just want to say, take heart, I promise it will get better and you won't be doing this when he's 16!
Have you ever read the Baby Whisperer book? It's amazing!!! She writes one for toddlers as well (so cleverly named -The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers) and it was amazing for helping us sleep train our oldest. She doesn't believe in the cry it out method, but she also believes children need to go to bed and be put there.
Give it a read, I promise if you follow through it will help tons! With our oldest, I started by sitting with her (which I'd done for 3 years) until she was a sleep, then after 2 nights I moved a little further away, explaining I wasn't leaving her alone and that she needed to stay in bed. If she said anything I ignored her or would whisper once "No talking, mommy hears you but because you need to sleep I'm not talking". After 2 nights I moved to the door, and so on. It took a total of 2 weeks and she was staying in bed and falling asleep on her own. It took patience on my part but was well worth it.
Also the other thing that helped was taking a look at her nap times and shortening then removing them. She sleeps better at night now.
Good luck! Let us know how it goes.
It sounds like you are doing everything right. Swatting his backside about the third time he gets out of bed might speed up the learning curve, but not all parents want to do that so your best bet is just consitently returning him to bed.
my doctor told me to put a lock on the outside of the door and put him to bed then lock the door he will cry but it will only last till he falls to sleep do this for a week and it should work well let me tell you i did it with my son and daughter and it worked it hurt me but now i put them to bed at 830 and thier asleep by 9 big help now that we have a new baby.
T., Most children hate to miss out on anything and bedtime is the greatest time to miss out!
What we did was 1 hour before bedtime we turned off the TVand turned on the music which was a clue to prepare and then we had music playing for the time they were awake. It seemed to help alot and has worked for our children as well with thier children. For one grandchild the parents have a baby gate up since she was getting outof the crib and ignre that she will play for about 20 minuets quietly seeing if they will come. She is now learning that it doesn't help her cause and is happy with her musical toys. You will find that the music time is good for you as well to relax.
Tell him you're sick of it! Tell him he has to stay in bed at bedtime, and mommy and daddy want their own private evening time, so if he gets up, mommy and daddy are going to lock his room. Then do it. He will run around inside his room, and cry and carry on, but it won't last long, and you will have your evenings back.
Really, it sounds like you're doing everything right. This is a tough time. It won't last forever. He'll get it! hang tough!
If anything, try playing some music or a book on CD in his room.
OK, you may not want to hear this and most would say that this is encouraging bad habits, but if he is anxious, I'd just stay with him until he falls asleep. You'd have to decide which is easier -- taking him to bed up to 50 times a night, or staying for the time he falls asleep.
Well, we take a different approach. Either my husband or I lie down with our 3-year old in her bed (she sleeps on a single mattress on the floor), read her a story, and she falls right asleep. I always tell her I'll stay with her until she falls asleep, then I'm going to go clean the kitchen. We snuggle up, which is really nice, and she usually falls right to sleep. The trick is ME not falling asleep before she does! :)
This might sound crazy, but it is a happy, non-stressful way of falling asleep. We talk about our day a bit or read a book and it's a really nice time to be together at the end of the day.
I think we have this misconception that because our kids are now "X" age they "should" be able to do certain things. Your son is clearly needing you and not ready to be left alone.
Good luck with however you decide proceed!
H.
I think you're doing the right thing. We did this wtih my daughter and it was really hard. It lasted a couple months...I know you did NOT want to hear that! ;) She was a big younger when it was at its worst, but I think if you keep at it, it will work! I tried the gate technique at the door but it only worked for like 3 days...then she climbed over it. You can lock him in his room, but I don't think that will really solve your problem. I thin kthen you will just be listening to his screams for an hour b/c he can't get out. Keep at it, I know it's tiring, but an hour could be worse, trust me.
My son is 2.5 and going through something similar too. At bedtime he has been calling to us and crying for almost 2 hours (he doesn't get out of bed). When I dropped him off at daycare today, they mentioned that he hasn't been napping well either....they moved the naps to a different room, and the teacher takes her break at a different time, so I am hoping that that is the reason for the change....they are going to try going back into the other room today. Has anything changed for your son lately?
My son used to do the same thing - and he's approaching 3. You're doing the right thing, being consistent at night. Try shortening his nap if he sleeps long during the day, but don't take it out if he still needs the down time. Mine still naps for 3 hours (which may be part of the problem), but I have an infant so I relish the down time. I plan to shorten his nap now that the days seem shorter and the sun goes down earlier. The darkness helps my son settle down, so you may want to look into black-out shades if his room is too bright. Another thing that worked for me was to get him running around and expending his energy after his nap. It required more planning, but he'd be more willing to go to bed at bedtime. We go through this every time we return from a trip/vacation because he gets used to sleeping in the same room with us. I have used the time-out method (which he opts for) and it sometimes worked, but it still prolonged getting him in bed. When he clings to me, I always tell him mommy has to sleep in mommy's room because there's no room in his bed. Sometimes it helps having my bedroom door ajar to reassure him that we are close by, since he's now starting to have night time fears. There's no easy solution, but remember that it will pass! Good luck.
