Suddenly Not Napping

Updated on June 11, 2008
K.R. asks from Richmond, VA
10 answers

My seven month old has never been a fabulous napper, but has been sleeping through the night consistently since she was 6 weeks old. Over the past few months, she finally started napping in her crib regularly, consistently and well.

We went on vacation (where she napped fine in a different crib) and returned a week and a half ago. The first 6 days home, she napped as normal. Then my husband returned from his business trip and suddenly she won't sleep in her crib anymore! At night she sleeps in a pack and play in our room and that is going fine. She will even sleep in her crib fine at night if we put her there. However, during the day she just WON'T sleep in her crib! I have tried feeding her immediately before, giving her Tylenol before (she's definitely teething), letting her cry (we're at an hour and a half of crying right now), putting her in the crib when she's already asleep, everything. I am at my wit's end and just want to get things done during the day. What do I have to do??? If I pick her up, she falls asleep in my arms almost immediately... but I'm trying not to pick her up so she learns to stay in her crib to sleep... Your thoughts?

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So What Happened?

Thanks, everyone, for the great advice. You all reminded me that I'm losing focus of what's important here - primarily that she's happy and comfortable and feels loved. For now, we're going to take a break from the crib for a bit and see if I can get her to take naps elsewhere (perhaps the pack and play, the floor, the couch, whatever). We'll return to the crib when she's napping again (somewhere) at the appropriate times. I like the idea of just staying with her - though I know that wouldn't work in the crib right now. She just wants OUT the minute I put her in there, and no amount of comfort I give her or hugs and putting her back in helps. Getting stuff done isn't so important to me that I'll let her suffer so that I can; I guess I just got used to getting things done, so I didn't know what to do when I couldn't.

For the record, she is doing about 3 naps a day right now. I'd knock one out if she weren't just SO exhausted. Like I said, she's perfectly content to fall asleep in my arms immediately at any of the three naps. For the morning nap, I've been having her sleep in her stroller, as she falls asleep there after our morning walk anyway.

I'll update again when we've made some progress!

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H.F.

answers from Roanoke on

As a mom of 4 I can understand that you have to get things done. For some reason, she is needing you right now. I would go ahead and not even try to put her in the bed before she goes to sleep. Go ahead and rock her or swaddle her until she goes to sleep. After a couple days, try to put her back in her bed for a nap and see what happens. Start weaning her from that point. Wait until she is almost sleeping and then try to put her down. Let her know you will be in the next room if she needs you. We all need a little extra lovin' every now and then. I don't believe this is habit forming. I have gone through it with all of mine. I let the holding continue for as long as it needs. They are only this dependent for a very short time and then there is no more holding and rocking. Grasp it when it is there to grasp.

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L.N.

answers from Washington DC on

K.
3 naps a day is a lot. they don't take 3 naps. if she's having trouble sleeping then just try for one long nap a day. my kids dropped the 2nd nap at around 9 months. the one nap they took was for 3 hours, between noon and 3.
also in the beginning lie down in the room with her. don't talk or make eye contact just lie down there so you know she's fine and let her cry it out. if she falls asleep you may try to get out of the room. it will take a while. she's probably teething, has started crawling and wants to do all that not sleep. try a few things, each for about a week or so. things will fall into place you just need time and patience to get there
good luck to you

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A.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

K.,
It sounds like a little separation anxiety. And for little ones that is huge. On your vacation everything changed. Although you were there, the surroundings were different. You got home and everything was back to normal and then your husband left. It sounds like she might be a little scared. The best thing you can do is comfort her and not put her in the crib and walk away and let her cry for 2 hours. Play with her. Spend one-on-one with her. I know you want to get things done but "things" wait. Trust me, I have three boys ranging from 5-11 and I look back and wish I had let some of the "things" just wait. The floors and dishes do wait! A perfect house are for those without children!!! Comfort your little girl and help her to feel secure. That is what she needs.
A.

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Y.L.

answers from Richmond on

A. Forget about not picking her up so that she learns to sleep on her own. We are the parents. It is our job to do whatever it takes to make our babies comfortable and feel secure and also get enough sleep. Babies need A LOT of sleep.
B. She might be just going through a phase. My son (now 18 months old) had a phase like that when we got back from vacation when he was the same age as your daughter.
C. Does she take 2 or 3 naps a day? My son was taking 3 naps a day and at that same time that we got back from our vacation and he was having trouble napping, I switched him to 2 naps. It takes a few days to find the 'magic' time. It means you will need to to the morning nap a bit later than you have been and the afternoon nap immediately after lunch. For example, my son used to have a 8:30 am nap, a 12 pm nap and then a 4 pm nap. Then he went to a 9 am nap and then a 1:30 pm nap. I always used to nurse him before his naps but if you don't nurse, I'm guessing a bottle would help just the same. Is she on solid foods? She might be constipated? Try giving her a half thing of baby prunes per day if she is having BM trouble. She might be uncomfortable because of gas.
C. If it's not the nap schedule and not gas, then it's probably teething. Try these http://www.gentlenaturals.com/products/teething.cfm they really helped with my son and when it's really bad, of course give Tylenol and a bottle or water right after.

I can really relate to your frustration and just wanting her to nap in her crib so you could get stuff done. I have and sometimes still do, feel the same way. The thing that I just learned to accept recently is that sometimes they just don't want to go by our schedule and our needs and wants and that's just life. It's not always fun, it's sometimes very frustrating, but that's just part of being a parent sometimes. And as I am writing these words, I realize it's not much comfort to you. I know. I've been there many times and still this happens now sometimes. I hope she gest back to napping well soon!!!

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H.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you tried letting her take her nap in the pack-n-play or just spreading a sheet/blanket on the floor in the living/family room or putting her on the couch once she falls asleep. I know these aren't ideal, but I know how it is not to be able to get things done while the kids are napping. Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

A lot of times when my daughter would wake only to fall asleep in my arms, it was her teeth or ears. For us usually it was at night - naps were fine. But most kids sleep more soundly at night, so maybe that is a reason it would be a problem during the day. Don't know, but that would be my first guess. Tylenol, persistance, and lots of love and patience is the solution.

Even if it is not primarily pain, I would still suggest persistance. I don't think the travelling had any thing to do with it. This is just what babies do sometimes as they get older, smarter, and more complicated.

Please keep comforting her, and I think it will pass. I do not believe in letting them cry. To what end? As you implied, it is not really working. I believe it breaks the trust she has for you. She needs to feel more secure than ever, ESPECIALLY if she is in PAIN! If you had teeth pushing through your gums, wouldn't you want a little comfort? When she is done teething, there is plenty of time to let her work on self soothing.

Also, I think at 7 months she still would need three solid naps, possibly two. As much sleep as possible - even if she is acting like she doesn't WANT to, she still NEEDS to nap a lot.

You may just have to tolerate getting less done in a day, it won't be forever. Would she tolerate a Moby Wrap (or carrier) or still fit in her swing? I think that the best solution is to keep to her normal routine so you don't make things worke, but at least those opeions woudl give you a break occasionally. At the very least, you should know this is typical 7 month old behavior. And it is probably not the first time she will hit a bump in the road in terms of sleeping. Good luck.

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G.S.

answers from Richmond on

i have almost the exact same problem! my girl won't take a nap in her crib for me, but will take a short one there when my mom does it. otherwise, i just hold her. sometimes i get away with putting her down in a boppy, which she's almost outgrowing, and she'll sleep there for a little while. the thing with that is you have to watch closely for them to wake or roll over. my daughter is 9 mos old and about to become mobile on her own, to top it off. so, not to sound discouraging, but i've given up on doing anything while she's asleep. i put her in her high chair to try to clean the kitchen, and she's becoming more payient with that. needless to say, my place is a disaster zone. maybe i need advice too!

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M.R.

answers from Roanoke on

I would not let her cry for more than 10 minutes. Even the cry-it-out advocates such as Ferber don't recommend crying for long periods of time, it's traumatic for their psyche.

this is such a short period of time, in the grand scheme of life. Sleep is important, and so is nurturing your child. If she needs you to help her soothe for this period of time, I'd say devote that time to her. When she is awake and you need to get something done, maybe you can put her in a swing or exersaucer or something.

Continue trying the crib though, perhaps invest some time staying with her, and leaving for short periods, to return with soothing talk, and caresses. If she refuses, I'd rock her.

(I just read HiediF's response... she is WISE.)

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N.H.

answers from Richmond on

That happened to me!!! I have a 5 month old and he would NOT sleep in his crib. But, I have been working on it like crazy. I go in 5 min after and put pasi back in...he usually cries a bit more...I then put pasi back in and walk out again. I also put two tiny stuffed animals (not a hazard) so he can hug something. He is actually falling asleep hugging them. I also read the book, "The Sleep Easy Solution." It gave me some great ideas. I bought some room darkening drapes to help as well. We're doing better...he'll sleep about an hour in there. I just keep trying. An hour in there is better than nothing. Good luck!

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi K.,

Here are some web sites:

http://www.naturallynurturing.co.uk/sleep.html

http://wwwminti.com/parenting-advice/13/top-ten-ways-to-g...

www.snuzzermuzik.com

http://slumbersounds.com/baby-bedtime-rituals-info.htm

Get into a parent support group and take some parenting classes as well. Surround yourself with people who can support you.

www.kidspriorityone.org ###-###-####

www.chkd.org Parenting education and support classes

###-###-####

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.

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