Surrogacy or Egg Donation??

Updated on June 02, 2007
M.P. asks from Ravena, NY
6 answers

Has anyone ever been a surrogate or donated eggs? Any thoughts on the subject?

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V.E.

answers from Albany on

I personally have not done either of these things, nor do I know anyone who has. The only reason I have even replied is due to the number of ladies who have expressed a strong and negative opinion. You definitly need to hear both sides. In response to the Sarah speaking about adoption, yes, there ARE plenty of children waiting for homes, but did you adopt any? Probably not, you had your own, most likely. If you did adopt, kudos to you, if you didn't, your opinion about how women should not use others' eggs is null and void, because you obviously felt strongly enough about the issue to have your own over adopting, and these other women that can't should be able to have that choice, too. I myself, am adopted, and I could not be more thankful to BOTH of my mothers, one for giving me up when they knew they couldn't take care of me, and to the other for taking in a child she didn't know history on, or anything else. Even being adopted, did I run out and adopt? Negative- I had a son 2 years ago.
Surrogacy and egg donation are touchy issues and M., I do hope you find your right answer. God bless you and yours and good luck with whatever you decide.

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S.P.

answers from Scranton on

I don't believe in this. A child needs to know who they came from. There are alot of children out there who may end up having kids with their siblings because of this practice. It's not fair to a child, to let them be born to a situation like this. Also, there are alot of children in the orphanages, if someone wants a child, they should help out one that is already alive, and in need.

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K.R.

answers from Syracuse on

I have never done either of the choices but I am glad that there are choices like this out there. It took 8 years to get pregnent and we often thought of all our options. We wound up having our children by in-vitro using my own eggs but I would have used someone elses if i had too. I know that I read a few responses about siblings not knowing their siblings (in regards to egg donation) but, when people are so desperate to have children you have to take the good with the bad. Maybe we need to get back to blood testing before we get married or in more modern times DNA testing. With the medical advances being made everyday we just have to except that this is the way it is.

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S.B.

answers from Burlington on

I have never done either but I think that they are both wonderful if enough thought about the after effect is involved. I think that doing it for the sole purpose of making money is not right, but at the same time as long as the child is going to a person or family that will love and care for them the way a child needs to be and deserves to be, then its good. Bottom line a child will be given life and how can someone say that life is wrong or bad.

It's just important to seek counseling to prepare oneself for the aftermath. Regardless if you are adopting or giving a child to another.

Good Luck with your decision.

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M.T.

answers from Albany on

I personally have not been a surrogate mother, yet by best friend was about 3-4 years ago. She had battles in her family growing up with miscarrages, so when she got older she decided she would help other parents who may have been through the same thing. She already had one child of her own, so 3-4 years ago she decided to be a surrogate mom. She enjoyed the pregnancy part, and no matter what she says, you could tell it hit her a little when she had to "give him away", but she felt really good afterwards and always talked about how it was her way of helping those who couldn't. After she did it, I thought about it myself, but I don't think I would be able to become 'unattached' from the baby. For some it is possible, for others not.

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S.M.

answers from Buffalo on

I have never donated personally, but my sister and my sister-in-law have. Both women donated to friends who were having trouble getting pregnant. My sister-in-law had no complications from it, although it took her a year to become pregnant after she donated. She isn't sure if that was just her system, or if it was directly related to the shots that she had to have. My sister ended up having vision complications (blurred vision) for a while even after she was done injecting herself, but it did clear up. My sister-in-laws friend DID get pregnant! My sister-in-law never thought that she wanted children, but after she saw the baby that was technically half hers, and saw a little bit of herself in the baby, she and her husband started trying. Now my sister-in-law and her husband have a 5 month baby girl who can play with the little boy who is from my sister-in-law's egg. It was a win/win situation. Overall, I wouldn't take it lightly. I know the shots can be tedious and make you sick to your stomach. The shots also have to completely change your cycle so that it matches the woman's cycle whom you're donating to. Hope this helps. Good luck.

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