I have thought about becoming a surrogate in the past, but I wanted to wait till I had my own kids before I would really consider it. Well, I just had my baby boy about two months ago and he is my first, but I had an amazing pregnancy and birth(no complications and , dare I say, a very "easy" birth!), so it has made me consider being a surrogate again. I think it would be an unbelievable experience to help a couple have a baby and complete their family, but I need some opinions and advice and I thought all you mamas may be able to help me out. Have any of you ever been a surrogate or used a surrogate to have your child? What was your experience like and how did you come to find your surrogate or the family you carried the baby for? What kind of details are invovled and is it a very complicated situation that needs lawyers, contracts, etc to be handled appropriately? Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
I think that would be wonderful!! What a special gift you could give a couple wanting a baby. My only advice is to wait until you are done having your own family. Enjoy being a new mommy for now.
Hi S.,
I have been a surrogate and am about to do it again. It was one of the best things I have ever done. I think Melissa has covered a lot of things I was going to mention. The surromomsonline.com site is really helpful as well as allaboutsurrogacy.com. You will definitely need to have a contract and your own lawyer. It is easier on you to go through an agency especially the first time around however it is definitely not a requirement. I did not use an agency and everything went fine. Do your research!! Read everything you can and go to a few different message boards to see the questions and answers others are writing.
I have become good friends with the couple I carried for but this is not the case with everyone so know what your expectations are. I actually found the couple on the surromomsonline website. There are several websites that have a classifieds section. Good Luck.
Feel free to email with any specific questions you might have.
S.,
My sister is in Oregon and is carrying twins for a couple in California. She is loving it. She has 3 children of her own with the youngest being 10 yrs old already. Although I've never done it, my opinion would be......enjoy your son now and think about becoming a surrogate later. I believe it would be a wonderful opportunity for you and your family to experience, but with it comes some extremely emotional feelings. My sister went through a VERY long screening process. Even though she's just carrying for them, they didn't need her eggs, she's still the person keeping these babies alive. It's her blood pumping through them!! She didn't need a lawyer, but did have contracts to sign. If you're interested in the placement company she went through just write me back and let me know. I'll see if I can get the info from her. I hope you find this helpful!
Did it, loved it, would do it again if I could. :)
You are absolutely right, it was a completely awesome, unbelievable experience. Not without a bit of stress, but overall wonderful.
I found my couple through a local agency which I don't think exists anymore. It was called Texas Surrogacy Solutions & run by an attorney who has twins through surrogacy. I cannot remember his name. My main contact was with Wendy Bauer, an infertility counselor who did the testing & matching. After having filled out an extensive questionaire, I met with her for an initial chat, then had to have the MMPI testing to make sure I wasn't crazy. ;) Then she gave my profile to a couple, we all met for lunch & decided we'd like to work together. My IP's (Intended Parents) doctor was local to me, so I didn't have to travel for any of the appts for the IVF process.
It was just after Thanksgiving when I first contacted TSS & by May we were pregnant. We were lucky to have gotten pregnant from the first cycle.
We did have a contract. My IPs were represented by the TSS attorney & I was represented by David Cole, who does (atleast he did) lots of surrogacy contracts. I say represented, but really I only spoke with him on the phone once & saw him once when I went to his office to sign the contract. I made sure to talk to lots of other surrogates about what I needed to have in the contract. There is quite an extensive network of surrogates online & they're an invaluable source of help, support & friendship during the process.
The website I visited a lot was www.surromomsonline.com . The message boards there were awesome. I know there is a newer site which began just as I was leaving the "surro world" but I'm sure you ca nfind it by googling "surrogate message board". Definitely check out the boards! Read read read! Also, look at the members' signatures for links to their blogs. Awesome reading!
I was also a member of a Yahoo group called TOSS, Texas Oklahoma Surrogacy Support. They have get togethers quite often in the area & it's really really great to get to meet other surros. I made some really great friends which made the process that much more special.
There weren't too many books on the subject when I was going through it, but I've seen more books about surrogacy on Amazon recently.
Like I said, I'd totaaly do it again if I could. However, I've got too much scar tissue from four c-sections & have had to retire my uterus. :)
Seriously, this is my favorite topic. It's been 7 years this month that I first began considering surrogacy & I still get excited anytime the opportunity to talk about it comes up. I'm totally up for talking to you more about the subject if you'd like.
