Teaching My Son About Cultural Diversity

The best teaher is experince. try introducing him to black playmates so he will know that they are not different . Abstract thought is not the same as liviing the experince.

There are several ways you can make sure to incorporate the positive image of African Americans and others into your child's life. He may or may not be getting it from outside sources but you need to make sure the right message is instilled at home. Books are a good place to start as you stated. Make sure you have books, toys and watch programming that show African Americans and others in a positive light. At the early age of four, you just do it in little ways to see if it is just a 'black is scary' thing.
Books: Please Baby Please, Please Puppy Please, Girls Hold up this world
http://www.amazon.com/Girls-Hold-Up-This-World/dp/0439087...
Toys - have toys of different colors and when you play , make sure the 'black' toy is the good guy sometimes and make an animal or something toy like a dinosaur (not a human figure) the bad guy. A friend of mine when playing chess in her house, black goes first sometimes. So there are little ways to instill the idea and positive image.
Lots of great shows: Backyardigans, Little Bill, Handy Mandy, Dora the Explorer, Go, Diego, Go, all instill positive images of people of ALL colors. The Movie - The Princess and the Frog, also has a very positive image while still having an interesting storyline for girls and boys. (Not your typical Princess movie of the Prince coming in to save the day which is great for girls).

If the problem continues and maybe get more books that tackle the problem directly.Here are a few others including a link at Amazon.
Grandpa, is everything black bad? Also, We all have a Heritage. http://www.amazon.com/Grandpa-Everything-Black-Sandy-Holm...

It may be nothing but better to start addressing it just in case it is something that develops into something more serious later. If it is nothing, it is still wonderful to instill equality and teaching diversity to your children no matter what color they are. Good luck and kudos to you for being smart enough to even realize that this should be address and searching out resources to help.

**Adding This: perhaps, as a family or with him, join culture clubs. Then he will meet other kids from around the world, learning about different people and cultures and interests and having friends, that are interesting and fun, too. There are usually many culture clubs for any culture, in any city. Just look it up online for your city.

Just the other day on CNN, there was a segment on how color of skin affects children's impressions of people.
It was interesting... but basically, yes, the darker skinned items (they did not use actual people in the visual test/answer sessions with the kids, just a cartoon figure, non-gender based either). But anyway, the mass majority of the kids, chose the darker skinned items as being "bad" or "stupider" etc.
Even the African American kids, had a bias... choosing the darker skinned items as being "bad" or "stupider" or more dangerous.
Both white and African American kids... had a perceptual "bias" toward dark skinned items (ie: people).

It is the media. It is the socialization of society. It is the world-view of society in the mainstreamed culture. It is celebrities, it is everything... that skews and creates a "majority" and a "minority" outlook toward certain skin colors. It is also cultural....

In my State, there are many many many different cultures and people and skin colors. The kids, grow up, not really knowing a certain skin color... because many of them are mixed ethnicities as well, and from a mix of cultures. My kids have friends of all colors/cultures/ethnicities from all parts of the world, and we do too. BUT on TV/movies/games, which kids watch, even the news... there are certain delineations of "skin color" and who "criminals" are or who "bad people" are, or what is cool and what is not. And this becomes subliminally ingrained in kids minds. Then their beliefs. Then their Habits. And either taught by their parent(s) or not.

4 years old is young but even younger, I taught/teach my kids about people all being different... but the SAME inside. Even my daughter's Teachers teach that to the kids. It takes repetition... for kids to understand 'abstract' concepts... kids this age are 'literal' and only go by their senses or what is tangible... abstract concepts are harder to perhaps understand.... or to make a connection based on empathy or feeling based connections with it. Kids this age often don't even know how they feel....

But yes, teach him. Like a rock collecting moss... that is how it becomes a part of them.

The other poster had a good point as well... maybe it is how he is/has been treated by "darker skinned" kids in school? Still, you must teach him... about the world, about attitude, about heart.... about acceptance... about right/wrong.

all the best,
Susan

When my children are a little older, like elementary school age, I plan on taking them on "service" family vacations occasionally. It's okay and good to have fun family vacations, too, so I'm not saying it will completely replace those -- just every once in a while instead of making it all about us we will spend our time helping those in need. I found a nonprofit my sister volunteered through that helps orphans and orphanages in South America. She thoroughly enjoyed her experience with the organization and has gone back to serve a few more times. They offer short family service vacations that they arrange, so a lot of the planning and organizing is already done. On the "vacation" I believe you primarily spend your time as a family playing with and caring for orphaned babies and children. They also allow free time to go explore the local area and give you ideas of places to go see. If you have smaller children, you can just help out half days while you're there so your own kids can rest. I think this will really help kids be grateful for what they have and less entitled, more compassionate, and more aware of how other people live in other countries and cultures. Here's the website: http://www.orphanagesupport.org/index.html
On the left side click on "Volunteers" and the scroll to the bottom and click where it says "short-term family service adventures" to learn more. The website has very detailed information.

As far as the "skin color doesnt matter" approach...skin color DOES matter. It makes people who they are. I would never show such disrespect to another human being and not "see" who they are.
TEACH your child. TEACH him that there ARE black people. TEACH him that there are Asian people.....Teach him that skin color SHOULD be respected and UNDERSTOOD.
There IS a matter to skin color. To say "it doesnt matter", is to say it shouldnt be recognized...it should.

Are you sure he is not getting picked on at school? My brother grew up hating black people because of the way they treated him at school. My dads kind of racist, but we lived with my mother who definitely is not. Anyways, my bro was overweight and there were particular kids who were black that picked on him constantly about his weight, and would " gang up" on him and make his life miserable. Having been bullied by mainly this ethnicity made him feel a certain way about all of them. OR maybe its just the dragon movie. I dont know, maybe take him on vacation to Jamaica.

I have always gone out of my way to expose my children to people of different ethnicities. I make a point to talk to them in the parks, at church, wherever we might meet people. I have always talked with them and asked them what they like about the people we meet and see. We like to admire their hair, the way they dress, their eyes, whatever. Always help to point out the good, and see the good in everyone. and try to introduce him to kids of different races and make friends with them.
Once he meets more people and interacts with them he will be just fine!

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I feel that it is vital to teach cultural diversity to kids. I would suggest going to the library and finding kids books about how other kids live is other countries (not just the USA)

http://www.multiculturalchildrenslit.com/

http://www.adl.org/bibliography/

http://www.education.wisc.edu/ccbc/

http://www.dawcl.com/introduction.html

maybe get a map and have your child pick a country in the world and then find information/children books on the country (your library can also help with this).

Good luck and THANK YOU for teaching your child about diversity

maybe you could have him watch Return of the Jedi? They specifically had Luke wear black in that movie to show that sometimes the good guys wear black too. :-)

Unfortunately, I dont know how else to help. My daughter isnt really exposed to anyone of other races, unfortunately, except her cousin who is half black, and he's an infant, so that doesnt really help.

We too are dealing with this issue. The books sound like a good start. I think just talking to children daily about cultural diversity, discussing the joys of being different and putting them in situation where they can see that everyone is the same, is crucial. I tell my daughter that "life would be so boring if everyone looked the same, the world is a wonderful place BECAUSE everyone is different".

It just sounds to me like he got the idea that black is scary, it could have just been one movie he saw where the bad guy was black. Because he's four I don't think he has the thought process to be "racist" yet.

I think that telling him about loving people regardless of their skin color is a big concept for a four-year-old. I think a good idea would be a trip to the library and to get some books with pictures that shows different cultures. It's important for him to learn how people are different, instead of trying to get him to think we are all the same inside. Saying we are all the same regardless of skin color is actually a lie, and kids know it! Different skin color (and eye shape, etc.) means different cultures, different ideas, different religions and sometimes different values. BUT we can learn about our differences and celebrate them. And in some ways we ARE the same.

I went to a school that was about 70% minority. We had a large black population in our school and they WERE different! They talked different, were into different kinds of clothes. The point is, learning about their culture is the best weapon against prejudice. Understanding is the key, not trying to be "color blind" but recognizing we are all special.

Sounds like you've overreacted to what was most certainly a completely innocent comment. In the end, that might actually do more harm than good. Sometimes when a four year old says something upsetting out of ignorance, the best response is a low-key one. Like if my four year old suddenly shouted an obscenity that he had overheard on TV, I would calmly tell him we don't say things like that and go about my business...chances are good he will have forgotten all about the word by the end of the day. But if I were to freak out on him and lecture him endlessly before buying literature on the subject and forcing him to read it? Yeah, you can bet that whenever he decides to test me or is simply bored and wants to stir things up, that word will be rearing its ugly head once again. Kids are all about attention, positive OR negative. So be careful what you decide to give yours to.

Does he have occasion to actually be around people of different races? Our area is very diverse, but I know some are not. I dated a guy in high school who had just moved from rural Wisconsin and had NEVER actually been around a black person in his life!

If you can enroll him in a preschool or go to some play places where you know there is usually a diverse crowd, that will help. It doesn't sound though like he's actually having a "racial" problem -but that he is having very common and age-appropriate fears of darkness and picking up on societiy's dark vs. light theme that does run in movies, tv shows, etc. There have been a number of studies done on how this translates into subconcious racial problems, but in reality "black" people are brown or dark brown. I wouldn't do TOO much or make TOO big of a deal about his right now. If he ever comes out with a racial epithet or says something very racist, then sit down with him and really talk about it, but I think this is pretty innocent. Good for you though for wanting him to be exposed to diversity!

I just saw a study done with children on this subject on CNN... How many classmates/ friends does he have that are culturally different/ skin color than him? Does your family have friends that are asian, black, hispanic, etc.? Modeling this behavior yourself is the best way. Tell him there are many shades of peoples skin and that it doesn't change how a person is on the inside. If he gets tan, he is still the same nice little boy. It may be worth enrolling him in some type of class through the city or YMCA just to do sports or other activity. He is likely to have all sorts of nice kids to meet and make friends with while having fun.

I have not read all the posts...but my first thought was to just read a book or two to touch on the topic but dont go overboard...he is only 4 years old and trying to figure out why he said it or who he heard it from is going to give the topic more attention.
He is 4...he does not understand what he said but you are reading deeper into it than need be. He may have meant something so different and you are looking at it in an adult manner. It really could have been just the color of the dragon...if the dragon were purple he would have said the same thing:) just an example.
I so understand.....it is hard when you are doing your best to raise children...but dont overreact:)
DOnt panic...just keep being a good rolemodel....read one book and let the rest fall into place.