Teenager Crying

Updated on December 06, 2006
C.S. asks from Hallsville, TX
11 answers

My daughte ris 14 and i walked into her room and she was crying and when i asked her she said it was said that it was a sad song is all. I asked what the song was and she said" I never got to say I was Sorry" i feel as though I need some one on one time with just her. Am i just looking to deep or is she crying out to ME?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Well things are okay at our house. She is just really mody and i think she is just going through all the changes right now. Her daddy is going through another divorce and he is staying in Ca and she does not see him as much. She says she thinks i expect to much out of her. I just want them all three to pitch in and help around the house is ALL. They watch TV and eat when i am at work and do nothing. I put it into GODS hands today and told him he has the wheel and I will NOT take it from him again...try not to that is..lol...I wish I had a JOB to stay at home and work from home so that I can be there when they are there is all. Thank you for all your advice and prayers. May all of you have a great NEW YEAR!2007 Chari

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Shreveport on

Rather it really was a sad song or not, if you feel you need to spend time with her, DO IT. Besides, you have mothers intuition, and all girls need their mama's sometimes. Even if you don't start out talkig about anything serious, just spending the time and letting her know you are available will make a big difference. She's a teenager and if the reason she was crying that time wasn't abig deal, next time it might be. And I think you'll feel better spending the time with her, too.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.E.

answers from New York on

I think this is the song you are talking about. It is a very sad song. It is about a father that passed away and a girl blaming him. So in this song she says how sorry she feels that she never got to say sorry for blaming him. Here are the lyrics to the song.

http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/194002659/Christina_Agu...

And you can listen to the song here:
http://www.christinaaguilera.com/

this song is gets to me even.. listen to it.
My advice is find out if this is the song, listen to it. Then put yourself in her place, did she go thru something that would bring tears when listening to this song..
did someone just pass away? A friend that she stopped talking to?
If you aren't sure, then just tell her you listened to the song, and tell her how you felt about it.. and how it made you feel.. perhaps talk to her about something that it makes you feel.. and then let her talk to you.. let her tell you without asking..
Try spending time with her doing fun things you use to do... sometimes I think we forget that they are still needing that one and one time.. even if it means just going our for a ride to the store to pick up ice cream or something like that.. just you and her.
If she doesn't open up to you.. then ask her.
If she keeps the crying spells without reason then perhaps she may be having a chemical inbalance.. which this is hard to tell because the truth is that a lot of teenagers tend to cry because of hormonal issues.. and that's chemical.. but this tends to go away... and then she's back.. But I wouldn't worry about this unless she is non stop crying...
Maybe this song just got to her.. it got to me. I use to blame my parents for lots of things when I was a teenager.. and so this song might have made her think of herself loosing someone she loves.. that may be it, and that's all...
But definately do spend time with her. It's very important.. I wish my mom would have payed more attention to my crying spells when I was younger.. it's scary not knowing why you want to cry....
You sound like a great mom! Anyway, listen to that song.. it's a very good song.

C.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.D.

answers from Houston on

One word "HORMONES"

Nothing to be worried about, i remember crying to sad songs, still do..LOL
Some songs remind you of sad things that have happen in life, lost love, death, broken heart, etc etc....

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.P.

answers from Houston on

I agree with the others responses, 14 and 15 were the worst years for me. Hormones and changing responsibilities and interests. Also moving from a child to an adult is a HUGE deal for teenagers and it can be overwhelming and confusing. Other older kids that have already made that change make it even more difficult to keep it together, kids can be so mean to each other.

Reminder her that on the exterior the other kids at school "seem to have it together" but inside they all feel the same way, confused and overwhelmed. Let her know that this is normal and that everyone feels this way at times. Work on building her self-esteem and teach her coping skills.

I will never forget high school... I was the chubby weird nerd chick, always teachers pet. Everyone teased me, the only boy that liked me was as hairy as an ape and crude; it was embarassing and humiliating. My friends were the teachers, when I looked at all the other kids in my mind they had the perfect home life, perfect hair, perfect body etc. I envied them and I hated my life and my parents for not having what I thought those kids had.

It wasn't until my senior year when I was tutoring the cheerleaders that I realized they all had issues, some had eating disorders, one was an alcholic, several had parents that were never home or involved, some had been date raped. I realized then that I was ok with my so-so (in my head) existance and that my life wasn't so bad after all. I felt sorry for them and realized I was ok with who I was. I also realized that the rules and involvement of my parents saved me alot of the pain that these girls had suffered.

So my suggestion is spend time with her, do "adult" things with her. Discuss openly and frankly issues like drugs sex peer pressure etc. Don't preach, just talk about it like you talk about the weather or the blouse you bought at the mall yesterday. Confide in your daughter, tell her your worst fears and secrets just like she was your best friend. Next time you open the door and she's crying just listening to a sad song, sit with her and listen to the song also and have a good cry, we all do it, or take her downstairs and say.. if you want to have a good cry watch this... and pull out Steel Magnolias or something and grab a blanket and box of tissues and snuggle and cry together on the couch.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Houston on

I too remember all the crazy hormonal issues I had at 14. It was a difficult time because I didn't really understand my own emotions. My mother wasn't much of a help because she made me feel like there was something wrong with me or would embarass me for crying. She would burst into my room yelling "what the h**l are you crying about this time?" then tell me it was a dumb reason to be crying. I really needed reassuring that I was normal and that I was loved. I wish that I could have talked to my mother about things, but there was no communication. She was too easily angered or frustrated with even the smallest things. Just be there for her and reassure her. Open that line of communication and be just as honest with her as you wish her to be with you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.A.

answers from Houston on

Use the excuse of holiday shopping to spend some time with her. Take her out for a soda or ice cream in the midst of the hubbub and try to talk to her about her changing emotions and that it is okay for her to feel like things are out of control. Tell her about YOUR experience during that time. When you have 4 kids it is easy to walk past a closed door and not think a thing about it. Kudos for opening that door and taking the risk of asking her what is up. Then make it a habit to spend an hour doing things together and talking. Once or twice a month might be enough but that is up to you to figure out if you need weekly. In the beginning you may feel it necessary to build the bond you will need to see you through they trying times of teenage girls. My grandparents used to say that when you raise a girl they do good till they are around 13, then stick them in a barrel. When they hit 16, plug the hole and let them out when they hit 22. Good luck C.,

Been there, done that, bought a t-shirt and came back tattered!
C.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.F.

answers from Fayetteville on

I am 20 so it hasn't been that long since my hormonal teenage years and I can tell you that it probably was just a sad song, but it never hurts to have some mother-daughter time. If you feel the need to spend more time with her, do it, you don't have to wait till there actually is something wrong. There doesn't have to be a reason to take your daughter out to eat with you, or walking in the park...or even gossiping about boys, and believe me, even if she acts like she would rather be somewhere else, she really does appreciate it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Pine Bluff on

i dont have a teenager yet but looking back at my teenage years i can say that theres a reason for her cying because that song made her think of a time in her life that was sad or maybe something happed i tru to be a friend to my girls as so a mother if they feel that iam a friend they will feel they trust me and feel that they are talking to a friend then a mother but i also tell ya that i do act more of a mother than i friend

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.D.

answers from Baton Rouge on

The may also be "One Sweet Day" By Mariah Carey & Boys II Men
http://www.metrolyrics.com/lyrics/3427/Mariah_Carey/One_S...
If it is this song, it is VERY sad. I printed out the words and put them in my granmothers casket before we buried her.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from Houston on

Talk to her. I remember that age I would think about sometime, my parent dying or getting divorce and I would cry. I still cry when I hear some songs. Hope this helps
Leti

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Houston on

Oh man, I am 32 (almost 33) and remember what it was like to be 14!! They are emotional!! Their little hormones are going nuts. That's probably all that was going on. But do spend time with her. Let her know she can talk to you about anything at all. It's really important to keep that communication open. But for her to be sitting in her room crying over a song, I did that a lot at that age!!!!! Just keep talking to her, and let her know you understand her and love her, and will always be her friend and confidante!!!!
Good luck,
april

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions