Terrified of Room?

Updated on May 29, 2008
M.W. asks from Clearwater, FL
6 answers

my 2 year old son has always been a good sleeper, but about 3 weeks ago he wont go in his room at all!! he will fall asleep on the couch & the second i try to lay him down in his b ed he screams, i've tried letting him cry it out but he will bang on the door all night if i let him, or he will scream for mommy in a corner of his room. and everytime i do go get he he's shaking, im not sure if hes scared of the dark, so he has a night lite but nothing seems to work...any suggestions??

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V.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Two yr olds have great imaginations-- is it possible that something in the room could be creating a "scary" shadow? Maybe a new piece of furniture or something like that??? Maybe he remembers something that was scary for him that happened in his room like tripping and scraping his knee. A few weeks ago my 2 yr old son bumped his head on the tub faucet. He wasn't badly hurt by any means but for days after that he cried whenever I put him in the tub. Could also be that your son had a bad dream. Is he allowed to watch anything on TV that could cause him to have upsetting dreams? Has anything in his bedtime routine changed, has he started daycare, or are you potty training him? He could be stressed out or feel unstable if there have been any changes.

Those are just a few ideas that come to mind. Honestly, I wouldn't let my son cry it out if he was so upset he started shaking. For whatever reason he is getting so upset, he needs you to be there to comfort him and reassure him that he's safe. I understand letting him cry it out if he's just being ornery but it sounds like this is different. If it's feasible, maybe you could sleep next to his crib/bed for a night or two to see things from his perspective and to affirm to him that there is nothing to be afraid of. I'm not sure if this was any help but I hope everything works out. :)

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D.H.

answers from Phoenix on

It does sound like something happened to him. Either he had a very vivid dream or watched a movie that scared him, or something happened. This doesn't sound to me like someone who is trying to manipulate you. He really is scared. It would be best to find out what happened so that you can address it directly. Assure him that no matter what he says, you will always love him. Then find something to help him stay there. Music, prayers, you laying in his room with him for a while, leaving the door open, giving him a baby monitor to call you directly if he needs help/ feels threatened, etc. You could start out with giving him a timer that he only has to stay there for one hour, the next night two hours, etc., until he falls asleep and stays there all night. I hope it helps.

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T.A.

answers from Phoenix on

I haven't run into this problem yet but I heard my daycare provider talking to another mom the other night about getting a spray bottle with water in it and spraying for any ghosts or gobblins before bed and keeping the bottle by the childs bed "in case he needs it in the middle of the night". Of course I wouldn't introduce the thought of ghosts but you can just ask him what he is scared of and show him that it gets rid of anything bad. You could even buy food coloring and make it extra special...

T.

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L.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi M.,

My daughter is okay in her room but she doesn't like it dark and the night light is not enough. I have a small lamp and I use a small appliance bulb in it which I believe is about 7.5 watts. It illuminates the room enough so there are no dark areas but not bright enough to keep her awake.

Also, you and your son can go on a "monster" or "shadow" hunt and spray away all the scary creatures under the bed, in the closet etc. Let him point them out and then give him a spray bottle of water or safe room spray and let him "conquer" the monsters. He will feel like the mighty hero.

Hope this works.

L.

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D.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Some months ago, the little night light was not enough anymore for our daughter. She was scared as well. Now we leave a bedside table lamp on until after she is asleep and rarely have a problem now. The night light will still kick in as soon as we turn the lamp out, so the room is never completely dark.

Hope this helps!
D.

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B.C.

answers from Phoenix on

He is probably too young to tell you if he has had a nightmare, but not too young to have had one! I would try putting a gate at his door, and leaving the door open so that he can see that there is nothing to be afraid of and see if that works. Good luck! Everyone of my kids has been through this. They eventually got over it, but it was a nightmare going through it with them.

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