I am a SAHM who is a junior in college. I have 2 boy already, 5 and 3 1/2. I have major baby fever. I talked to my husband and he said okay lets do this. Then he went to work and talked to the "guys", and next thing I know he is saying no way. I see the way he is with other babies and his little heart just melts. I am going to start work full time in 2 years and fell like if I have a third now I will at least get a year at home with the baby. I also have to have c sections and have decided that I will get my tubes tied while they are in there. I have an IUD right now but it has to come out within the next year or a little after. I know what will happen in 3 years when I start working I will end up pregnant by OOPS and will not get anytime home with the baby. I have a very happy marriage, and family. My boys are always asking me for a baby. That dosent help either cause they are a little spoiled. I guess my question is that if my husband and I are on a diffrent page...half of the time about having a third baby. I dont want to trick him, is it wrong to have the IUD removed with his knowing and not take any precautions on my part. PS he refuses to wear condoms, so what I do determines. But in my opininon if he choses to not use protection that is not my fault. Am I wrong even if I am being honest with him.
PLEASE DO NOT SAY I AM TRICKING HIM I AM NOT AND I ONLY WANT SERIOUS RESPONSES. THANKS
K. I swear you and I are in the same boat!! I have two girls and I def want a third baby now! I have decided to remove my IUD, going to make an appt tomorrow and if he refuses to wear a condom then that's on him!! GOOD LUCK
definitely do yourself a huge favor and DO NOT do anything through lies or deciet. That destroys marriages very quickly. If he doesn't want a baby, it will not be good to do this. Be as honest as possible and be as straight up with him as possible. If you're going to have your IUD removed, tell him right away: I am doing this and the birth control is up to you. If you do not take care of it, there is a chance I will get pregnant. Then, the ball is in his court and if he refuses to use birth control, he knows what the consequences will be. Just be honest and straight forward; if it were me, I would not tell him "well, if I get pregnant it's not my fault." That would not be good.
K. -
If i were in your shoes right now, what i would do first, in a calm, loving spirit; opened minded, willing to LISTEN WITHOUT BLOWING UP on the answer he gives, is sit down with my husband and find out what was said by the fellows that caused him to waver in his decision to have another child. Once you get a clear understanding of what caused the fear, then re-assure him that you all will be ok. If you want to continue to keep a happy marriage, by all means, DO NOT remove your IUD at this time, especially when he is unsure. Wait until you both are in agreement with this decision, before you make that move. Like you said, its "BABY FEVER" and who knows, this may soon pass. Slow your row, get to the core of the fear and make your decision(with your husband of course) from there. Hope this helps you.
hey! Im sure that he will get on the same page with you in time.....You sound very reasonable with why you would like another one now~ I totally understand! I would not however, remove your iud with out him knowing, that would cause major trust issues in your marriage and you would think about it every time you looked at the new baby! That wouldnt be right....mnaybe have a date night and Really tell him how you are feeling, remind him a happy wife is a happy life lol!! good luck :)
Don't remove your IUD without a backup birth control plan, or without your husband being ready to go forward with #3. There is never a "perfect" time to have a baby - you can't know exactly what the future holds. You both need to be ready and want the baby. I would share your heart with your husband about your reasons for the timing - let him share his heart too - and then make a decision that is right for your family.
We were on the fence about having a third. I felt 80% sure I wanted a third, husband felt 80% sure he didn't... I finally got to the place I agreed with him - and had some things happen and wouldn't you know it - unplanned pregnanncy! (I was using birth control - was in a time of changing it and was really sick with strep...so no trickery!!) My husbnad was WAY more excited about our third than I was - she is the light of our life - she really completed our family.
I do not know why you are asking because it sounds like you have made up your mind and just want others to tell you you are right. A third child changes things mush more than a second does. You run out of hands and parents are out numbered. Make sure you really want another child and not just a cute little baby, babies are fun but they eventually turn into teenagers and do you really want three of them at the same time and will you be able to afford all of the college tuitions with out a break of any years? Good luck.
just keep communications open, my hubby finally came around and we have our 3rd beautiful baby boy... I might have considered a 4th but her was definitely done at that point.
give it time he'll come around
Talk to your husband, why did he change his mind, and it better not be because of his co workers telling him whatever they told him to change his mind. They have no say.
It is up to you and hubby. And, it is not tricking him if he knows the iud is coming out and he does not use precautions. Using birth control goes both ways. Sit him down and tell him your feelings and ask his.
I am curious as to what his co workers told him, and why do they think they have a say.
