Three Year Old Suddenly Very Attached to Me and Having Many Fears

My son (who is 6 now) went through the same thing about the same age. He had always been quite sensitive and preferred "Mommy" to others, but his fears and attachment to me really increased/became more noticeable around that time and continued until he was almost 5 (then re-emerged briefly at the start of kindergarten, then got better again). I've always worked and he had always been in daycare, so it wasn't like he wasn't used to being separated during the day. He became afraid of everything - noises, strange people, kiddie videos (even "Land Before Time" which is about the tamest thing out there), and any books that had the slightest negative chracter or story-line. And he started having nightmares and being afraid to go to bed. I tried to equip him with nightlights, a flashlight, stuffed animals, a "dream catcher" to hang on his window. Sometimes those things helped and sometimes they didn't. I often would just "cuddle" next to him in his bed until he fell asleep.

At some point, he just seemed to grow out of it. So, your daughter's sudden sensitivity doesn't seem strange to me at all(though it's always worth a call to the Dr. to rule things out). I realize in hindsight my son was just going through a phase. He has always been sensitive and very aware of everything going on around him and I think that age (3-5 or so) is just when their little psyche's have the hardest time making sense of all the stimuli around them. Just give her the extra loves and reassurance she needs and assure her that she won't always find things so scary. My son seems to handle school and the pressures of life just fine now for his age.
Good luck!

Yes, it's a phase. Very frustrating but there may not be much you can do about it. If she can verbalize anything, you can address that. For example, I've seen parents take empty spray bottles and spray air under the bed or in the closets, calling it "Monster Spray" for kids afraid of monsters. But your child sounds like she has a more generalized fear. She's afraid to go to sleep - she may be having dreams, although most kids with night terrors don't remember them - but her fears seem to persist during the day so it can't be only that. Just reassure her that you're around, and do the best you can. If she's going to follow you around, then sometimes she's going to have to be quiet so you can talk on the phone or do work or get things done - that's probably the most you can do. Good luck - different kids get it at different ages, and they grow out of it too. Doesn't help you much now, I know!

T.: I would love to hear the feedback. I am dealing with a very similar issue with my daughter, who turned 4 in April. She is not crying but all of a sudden she has fears, has to be in the same room, trouble sleeping, not feeling safe. I haven't been able to figure it out either so you are definitely not alone.

My son, who's now 5, also became fearful around 3.5 years old. He had night terrors for about a week when my second came home from the hospital. After that he became afraid of everything. He didn't cry, but he wouldn't do the thinks he used to like, like kiddie rides, swimming & animals, etc. He wasn't in preschool so there was no real seperation anxiety. I'm pretty sure it's a phase they go through. He's gotten much better although he's still cautious. So, he runs in terror at the sight of a dog or puppy, but he started school without any trouble & loves going. So, good luck to you & she should get better as she gets older.

This could be just a phase - but just want to throw a possible medical cause at you too, in case it applies. It is rare. But my naturally shy daughter went through this once around age 3 1/2 yrs. old. I thought it was just a phase when she got particularly bad, because she is very shy anyway. We got her over it. But then she just went through it again this summer - now that she's 6. Turned out she had a thing call PANDAS, which is actually caused by strep throat. When I looked back at my records, she had also had strep around the time she was 3 1/2 and had similar symptoms. My daughter also had other symptoms this time, which made the PANDAS easier to diagnose. I first learned about PANDAS through this wonderful Mamasource web site, I had never heard of it before. Google it to learn more. But one symptom is extreme separation anxiety. Doesn't hurt to explore it with your pediatrician- but I'll warn you that some doctors don't even believe it exists. Luckily our pediatrician did believe in it (he actually brought the subject up - I had been secretly researching it and wondering if it were true), he gave her a pretty long dose of antibiotics (all in all, I think she was on for about 6 weeks), we had a psychiatric consultation which confirmed the diagnosis, and she got better. But she also got better the first time around without the antibiotics - we just had to keep working on her with reassurance therapy. Good luck, it is terribly draining, I know.