Just curious if anyone has read Amy Chua's controversial book about her parenting style,dubbed "Tiger Mom", based on her own parent's traditional Chinese parenting philosophy.
I read that Chua has been riduculed, criticized and even received death threats b/c of what she writes. She has claimed up and down she didn't write her book as a parenting guide but rather, as a memoir.
Either one, it really slams American parenting. But I really like her philosophy that we need to have more faith in our children, that they can not only accomplish anything but they will accomplish anything well. She absolutely does not believe in coddling her children and expects alot out of them.
I haven't read it yet but I want to!
It actually broke my heart to read. She tore up a birthday card that her daughter made for her because "it wasn't her best work". Anything else she has helped them accomplish doesn't make up for the way that she has crushed her daughter's spirits in the process.
There's a delicate balance between achievement and happiness – the two are sometimes at odds. I know plenty of folks who are high achievers, but don't know how to relax and enjoy their success, and who don't like themselves very much. I also know a few who are not living up to their potential, and don't like themselves very much.
Real satisfaction with one's life seems to lie somewhere between those extremes.
I take issue with terms like "American parenting." I know all sorts of parents, terrific ones and terrible ones, who are born and raised in the U.S. – and other nations of The Americas.
As far as what parents can do to motivate children, there's a great deal that social scientists have learned about what works, and what doesn't. Here's a great read on the subject: How NOT to Talk to Kids, by Po Bronson: http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/
Congratulations on not having your post pulled yet. A few other moms posted about the Tiger Mom a while back, and those posts were pulled. Don't know why, since there was nothing offensive in the posts.
Anyway, as a Chinese American and former overachiever, all I can say is that Amy Chua does not speak for us. Her actions do not even line up with her philosophy of having faith in her children. If she had faith in her children, she would have let them find success on their own, instead of harping on them until they did things to her satisfaction.
My parents expected a lot out of us children, but they let us live our own lives and make most of our own choices. People raised by Tiger Moms tend to have an inability to function outside of their very small sphere of comfort. I feel sorry for Amy Chua's daughters. I probably would have run away from home with a mom like that. And for the father to not step in and protect his own daughters from their mother is cowardly.
There is nothing wrong with "American" parenting. Good parenting is good no matter which country you are from.
She was very harsh. Her oldest daughter now has a blog supporting her mother. That's fine for her but I highly doubt she would disagree with her mom in public. While some of her points may be valid...she is over the top. I do agree that American parents many of them have made their kids lazy, selfindulgent, selfish and greedy. Oh and a mentality of you owe it to me and if I don't succeed its someone else's fault.
I think a lot of the things she did were WAY extreme and if my parents parented me that way we would not have a functional relationship. For every culture there is a parenting technique that works well, Chinese (my husband being 1/4) are very structured and in that culture her parenting would be doted upon. Me being American (a mish-mash of ancestry) and stubborn (and assuming my daughter will be as well) it just wouldn't work.. to each their own. Like she said she wrote it as a memoir not a guide. If you don't like it don't read it, if you read it and hate it who cares? They published it and made tons of money because it's controversial and controversy makes money. Lots and lots of money.
I actually just finished it and whizzed right through it. *I read A TON and judge a book on how well it held my interest. I thought it was well written (she is a writer and has been published in other genres) and easy to read.
As far as the content. . . do I think her parenting was extreme? Maybe, but it's not my place to judge. I'm sure I've done and said things that my friends and family wouldn't or didn't agree with. We have friends who over indulge their teen daughters, (brand new Volvo for 16th birthday, clothes from high end department stores etc.). I don't agree with that, but we are friends and it seems to work for their family.
Reading the book did make me think of the kids my daughter goes to school with. She is in a private school that is very culturally diverse. My daughter is extremely smart, wanting to study International Business at Stanford. BUT, the top 10% of her class are the Asian and Middle Eastern Students. Who, when I thought about it, reading the book, do NOT participate in the school plays, do NOT do anything extra outside of school but study. My daughter recently lost a team-mate off of the softball team because the girl's parents refused to let her practice normal team practices because she needed to study for the ACT. She had already taken it 2-3 times, but she had not yet gotten that perfect score of 36!
There are things I look back now with my kids that I wish I would have pushed harder, but we all do the best we can with the background and information we have. My kids won't be performing in Carnegie Hall, but I am extremely proud of them and their accomplishments!
Amy Chua, never really says "American Parenting" in the book. That I can remember. I'd look it up real quick, but have already loaned it out. But often refers to Western Parenting.
http://tigersophia.blogspot.com/
That's her daughter's blog. Kinda funny and doesn't seem worse for her mother's parenting style. Plus she's made a point of saying that alot of people don't get the satire aspect of her mom's book "like, they think you're all serious about this!".
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nevermind, wrong person!
American parenting has gome from discipling children too (That's Normal)
And with some parents coddling is done for the wrong reasons at the wrong times, i have personally witnessed this to many times so anyone who wants to slam me for saying it, I've seen it. Faith you have in God, trust you have in your children, and if you teach them that they can do anything and be anything they with have the self confedance that they can. J.
Read the Wall Street Journal articles and then decide if it's something you want to read. I'd look at it as a different moethod of raising a child. It's sort of harsh but she does make a point that children raised this way are overachievers.
I haven't read it but I have hear about it, and for what I have hear, I think of her the same I think of many moms on here, that there are things I agree with, other that have never done but I would like to try and others I don't agree at all.
