Time Management

I am there with you! I work full time and basically a single mom since my husband travels. I make dinners that will enable us to have left overs, that way I am not cooking all the TIME-yuk! When my husband is home on weekends I use the time to prepare meals for the week, whether it is soup, chili, pasta, and freeze the foods so it is easy to take out and prepare. When it is cooking I caN SPEND time with my lil one. I also use bath time as a time to play with him since my son loves water. I work at 8, so he needs to go to bed early too.
Hope this helps.

Take it from a mom of a 14 & 16 year old boy...you want to spend quality time with your child, just do it. The laundry will always be there, the dishes will always need washed, the beds need made...but they will be grown up before you know it. So you let something slip that is not that important. You have to work, you have to go to school, yes but there are things you can let slide...forget the housework and chores and play with your child. You can do the laundry another time.

Much as I hate to tell anyone this there is only one way to state it. There are only 24 hours in a day. If you work full time, go to school, and are basically a single parent something will have to suffer. In this case it is your relationship with your child. You can't add more hours to your day. Maybe school needs to be cut back on for a little while. Take fewer clases per semester so there isn't so much time involved in class work, etc., this will assist you in finding the time you need to bond with your child. They are only children for a short period of time.

I've been in the same situation. It's tough. Try to really think about your priorities & adjust your activities to match your priorities. I'm a firm believer in school. If you think it's something you really need to pursue, then maybe look into other possibilities to cut back the hours you work. Maybe you could take out student loans to help you through the next couple of years? Maybe a parent or close friend could watch your child to reduce child care expenses? Maybe you sell your vehicle & use public transportation? Just some ideas.

The key is to line up your actions with your priorities. I don't know if it's feasible, but could you keep your son up 15 minutes longer in the evenings? Just concentrate that time on snuggling & reading books, for example. Devote the time you do have with him to him. Don't mess with the dishes, laundry, etc. Just make the time you have count as much as you can. Use bath time to teach him colors & new words.

Hang in there. It'll get easier as he gets older & can help you out more. Plus, he'll be able to tell you in a year or two that he wants more time with you. It'll really hit home for you then. =)

God bless. I hope you have a support system around you to help out. If not, get involved in church. We're all part of God's family!

Hey R.,
Just responding to give you some tips on Time Management. I am a mother of a 13yr old, I own my own event planning business and I still work a full time 9-5 job. So I understand you have a lot on your plate but what I've grown to love is I plan one day a week (usually Wednesday since it's the middle of the week) and my daughter and I have what we call Fun Wednesday. We set all things aside we have been doing this since she was 5yrs old, though she's getting to the age she wants to spend more time with friends she's always lookin for Fun Wednesday with mom. Other tips for a day by day basis create schedules, lists and calendars (Write a schedule for you and your child for the week)kids love structure and you will benefit, too. Also make use of your networks (neighbors and friends can help when you may need to make an important business call or return emails) sometimes it may work sometimes it may not depends on your work week. Walk through life don't run through it, a happy and less stressful parent works for a more positive atmosphere for the child (take 30 minutes a day for yourself).

Hello R.. I remember being in your situation. From the time my now 5 y.o was born till about two I went to school full-time & worked 2-3 jobs at one time. I seen her about 2-3 waking hours a week, & generally I was doing work while feeding her or cuddling with her. With a baby that young, quality time comes in many ways. Turn off the radio while driving with him & sing to him or tell him stories when he is awake. Just b.c you aren't sitting face to face or rocking doesn't mean it isn't 'quality time'. If he stays with a family member or private sitter, tape record yourself reading a book & send the tape & book with him for the 'sitter' to play for him (she can turn the pages but it would be your voice reading the book). Who says errand time can't be quality time, while he is sitting in the seat & you push the cart at Wal-Mart talk to him, play "I spy" (he may seem to young, but do a 'mommie sees a red shirt' and then show him the red shirt) or ask him what he would like for supper next week (no he won't undertand, but he will enjoy the attention). Also, you can cuddle with him while you read your school books, not only is it 'quality time' but you are setting a HUGE example for him to love to read. My now two year old will cuddle up with me & I will read to her the book I am reading. I would drive my daughter 20 min in the opposite direction so that she would be with my grandparents 2 days a week. I wanted her to have a bond with them like I did when I was little, the extra drive & cost was more than worth it.
As for cleaning, who really cares :) If it is messy Oh Well. Use paper plates to eat off of, they might cost slightly more, but you can save tons of time. Prepare Crockpot suppers that u throw together in the morning & are ready when you get home. Start the laundry in the am & switch it over in the pm, I stil do that & I am a SHAM of 4.
Most of All, please remember, going to school is not only for your bennifit but for his too. And this time will pass.

I, too, had that same problem. When you are a single mother working full-time out of the home, it is very difficult to get that quality time with your child. My son is now 26 months old and we get some great time in the evening because he goes to bed a little later (sometimes later than I'd like!) It was hard when he was younger, so I asked my boss if I could switch my schedule to 7-4 or 7:30-4 with only 30 min for lunch. At one time he let me do a 7-3 and skip lunch and that let me get of work a bit earlier to spend more time with him in the evening. If that's unavailable, I'd just say to maximize the time you have with him now and realize that you will have more time in the coming months, and utilize the time on the weekends together. As long as his daycare is a loving place for him I think everything will be ok. That's just my experience though :)

Make a BIG DEAL out of meal time, baths and bedtime. I LOVE all of them. Pick special books, say a special prayer (at some point, he'll be able to say it and WILL remember that you said it together), sing a special song, etc.

Have a routine for bath time....even if that means 5-10 min of nothing but playtime. You BOTH will enjoy it more.

Schedule some one on one time on the weekends that are ONLY for the two of you. Don't let errands, cleaning etc. get in the way. THEY CAN WAIT. GROWING CHILDREN CANT AND WONT!

Does the college/school you go to have their own daycare?? If so, this would be a great way to spend you breaks with him. Or see if one is closer to where you spend most of the day. If you have a private sitter, see if they will bring him to you on your breaks.
I know it's hard, but just try to spend all/what time you can get!!Play in the yard, on the floor, anywhere is quality time.

Good Luck!
R.

I hear ya! It's so rough because you want to be with them every minute!!

So - be with him every minute you can!

There are some usefull tips on www.flylady.com - take what you can use from it. For example - 2 loads of laundry a day. I usually will put one in when I get upstairs to spend time with my daughters. THere's enough time to start a load in the washer, move it to the dryer and start another load. After the kids are asleep, and about the time I'm ready for bed, it's time for another. In the morning, once more...you can usually get a couple loads done that way. After the kids are asleep, fill up the dishwasher and run it. If there's time, unload, but otherwise it can wait until morning.

From the time we get home, we spend about 3 hours with our girls before they go to bed. And the other stuff we do what we can, and "make peace with imperfection" because it's more important to spend time with our girls than it is to have everything spotless. When he gets a little older, he'll likely want to help too - my 4 year old LOVES to help with the laundry. I'll tell her what to throw into the washer, and the liquid is in a "squirt bottle" - 1 1/2 squirts per load, and she loves to do it and then start it up.

Good luck!

I researched parenting skills and time spent with children before I had my family. I read that some families only spend about 1 hour of quality time with their children a week. I decided that I would spend 2-3 hours of quality time with them a day... outside of getting ready in the morning, bedtime or making dinner. We read books, color, make crafts, go to the park or other playtime activities.

I would study only after I put them to bed and I scheduled Saturday daycare for about 6-8 hours. I would use part of the time to study and about 2 hours a week for cleaning. I only hand washed dishes, cleaned laundry and cleaned floors once a week. Sometimes I would use paper plates instead of dishes to reduce the amount of dishes piling up during the week. It was the only way I found ways to keep up with with the kids, work and the house.

Additionally, I decided to attend school online because I would have about 1.5-2 hours for one round trip going to campus that could be used for studying. This also reduced babysitting costs. I reduced my work schedule for 40 hours to 34 hours. It was still considered full-time, so I kept all my benefits. However, I stayed over at work and used the extra hours to study. Sometimes I had to work a full 40 hours, so I worked it out with daycare to cover up to 10 hours a day and 50 hours a week. I still got all my study time in.

First of all, I applaud your doing so much for your child. I know how hard it is to be going to school and working full time, and that was before I had children. I'm not sure how flexible your job is, but could they allow you to work 4 days/week rather than 5? Also, since my daughter was born, I got some help. We hired someone to come 1 day/week to help with cleaning and watching the baby. As I know finances are tight, also consider getting help from a younger girl as a mommy's helper. She would come when you are home so she would be by herself with the child, but could help with cleaning or organizing for the next day so you could spend more time with your son. I would pay a couple bucks an hour and it could be for maybe a few hours once weekly. Just a thought! Good luck, you sound like a great mom!!!!