Tips for Staying Asleep

You might try warming up the spot where you're going to lay him first...my Dr suggested one of those hot/cold rice packs (the kind you can stick in the microwave) or you can fill an old sock with rice to make your own. We had to let him sleep on his boppy in his crib for a little while because that was the only way he would sleep without being held...he needed to feel like he was still being held. We never tried warming up the spot because about a week after that suggestion he started sleeping better, but I've heard it does work. We also covered him (and still do) with a heavier blanket...not a comforter, but a crocheted blanket that has some weight to it, that way he stays warm and feels like something is being held against him. Good Luck!

My daughter was like that...I feel for you!! My advice is to nip it in the bud now before it gets worse. I was to the point where I had to sleep (if you can call it that)out in the living room with her, with the TV on for light. I'd finally get her to sleep and lay her down in the bassinet then I'd lay down to try to get a couple of minutes of sleep when she'd wake up after 15 minutes or so and the cycle started over...it didn't start that bad, but it just progressively got worse until I was ragged and mean from lack of sleep. It's not fair to you, your baby, or anyone else that has to deal with you.

So, my advice is to let the stinker cry a little. I know it's SO hard to hear it and it tears you apart, but it's the only way I found that worked. I'd go through my nightly routine for baby, bath, feeding, etc. then put her in bed and tell her I love her and walk away. If she cries hysterically, go in after 5 minutes (DO NOT pick her up) and pat her tummy and talk soothingly to her. You could prop up a bottle if you want, but that's another habit you'll have to break later. If she didn't stop crying (and she usually didn't) just say "I'm sorry you're sad. Try to get some sleep" and leave again. Then go back in after a longer period (10-15 minutes) and repeat. Make each subsequent interval longer than the previous.

My daughter cried for about 45 minutes the first night but slept much better through the night, only waking up 2 or 3 times instead of constantly. The second night she cried for about 20 minutes then was out. The third night she didn't cry at all, just went to sleep. It may work differently with different babies, but I've used this method several times (weaning from a bottle, from bassinet to crib, etc) and it always works. It may seem mean, but I've found that she wakes up happier and sleeps better when she does it herself. After all, she's missing sleep because of her habit right along with you! And you'll hear people trash on the "cruelty" of it, but it works and it makes everyone happier. There are books supporting all kinds of baby-raising, and everyone's got their own "bible" for babies, but you've got to do what works for you and your family. Good luck!

Hey S.,

Your baby is still so young, and it is completely natural for him to want to be near you all the time. You, my dear, are not a sleep prop for this child, you are his world. I would strongly discourage you from following the advice in Babywise unless you are interested in a totally parent centered philosophy of parenting. Even then, I would discourage you from following it word for word. It is not research based, and some of the suggestions, such as putting your child on a a schedule straight out of the womb, can be detrimental to the development of your child. For the sake of full disclosure, I would also tell you that I think "self-soothing" is a ridiculous thing to expect a 9 week old to do. That's a solution for the parent, not for the child. My advice, based on my obvious philosophical leanings, and my personal experience with my secure, sleeping in their own beds after co-sleeping, well-adjusted 2 1/2 and 4 1/2 year old children is to lay him down beside you for his nap times and nap with him or move away gradually and slowly. I used to put my hand somewhere on my child's body and lift it away a little at a time until my hand just hovered over him or her for a few seconds more before I snuck away. Use your instincts with your boy. Not all babies have the same temperaments, and it sounds like your boy wants to be close to you physically to feel secure. This time passes, and while I know it might make it hard for you to get other things done, the time will come when your child lets you know that he's ready to move on to the next phase in HIS development. Follow his lead. Don't rush him into something you're ready for him to do. There will be so much of that waiting for him in the future.

Let love and compassion be your guide here and you can't go wrong.

A.

I use soft music as white noise. I also nurse laying down, then spray some milk on a stuffed animal so it smells like me. When they would fall asleep, I would put the bear in my spot and leave. I suggest getting a good wrap so when your little one wants to be close, you can have your hands free. I love this wrap... http://www.gypsymama.com/shop/breeze.htm With that said, my hubby and I chose to co-sleep and love it!!

Here are some links that might help:
http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct05p204a.html
http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html

Because babies are helpless they are programed try to be near us all the time. That means you need to simulate your presence to keep baby calm/asleep.
Swaddling simulates being held (womb-like) as does the vacuum or white noise (loud womb-like noise). According to different researchers, this womb simulation : sound, movement(rocking, baby wearing...or remember the old time rocking cradles?), pressure is esp useful in the early months of life. Your smell is a good thing to add...as the baby has imprinted on that within days of birth.
I would suggest keeping the sheets warm too...the shock of a cold bed surface can wake the baby.
Baby sleep does go in cycles...the easiest to move a baby in anywhere is the deep sleep part where arms and legs are floppy. Mouth is relaxed. If they are in REM or dream state...waking accidentally is much more likely.
I find that my daughter (even now at 2) is easiest to move right after she falls asleep...but trying that 20-30 min later could wake her. But each baby may have their own particular pattern....and it can change as they grow.
Good luck!

You have created a "sleep prop" for your baby where he needs you to hold him to go fall asleep and stay asleep. The sooner you break him of this, the better for you AND him. There is a book called "Babywise" that talks about sleep props, and how feeding schedules affects sleeping schedules. I did the advice in the book and both of my kids slept thru the night by 10 weeks old, are great sleepers and I can just put them in bed and walk out without them fussing. They actually go to bed willingly and happily. Good sleeping habits are taught. It doesn't just happen. Get the book and try it. I DOES work! I have two kids to prove it and everyone else I know that has done Babywise had the same result. Good luck.

I HIGHLY recommend the Baby Whisperer books...I've been using her principles with my 8 week old and it only takes me about 10 minutes to get her to sleep and she stays asleep when I put her down. The key is to be consistent. I think the book "The Baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems" has a great section on working with babies under 3 months old. Check your library!

Hi S.,

My little boy needed to be moving to stay asleep for the first 5 months, except at night. I got an Amby-Baby bouncing bed and that really helped. When we travelled overseas and I could no longer use the Amby, I found putting him in the carseat and rocking it (with my foot, while I wrote letters!) worked. After a month or so, I could walk him to sleep in the sling, slip the sling with him in it into the carseat, rock it for about five minutes and then walk away, and he'd sleep an hour or more. I also started swaddling him prior to putting him in the sling, walking until he was asleep, and then laying him on the bed in the sling already swaddled. My other suggestion is to keep him in your arms two or three minutes after you think he'd asleep, and try laying him down then - sometimes it takes just a few extra minutes for them to be sufficiently asleep to stay that way.

Good luck!

You're at a very fortunate place with your child. Sleep patterns are being formed between the 6-9 weeks. This is the time to introduce self soothing. Since you have to sit and wait for him to wake up because he is in your arms, the amount of work this takes will be much less.

What you want to do is feed and then put a sleepy, NOT an ALSEEP baby down. You will probably have to stop the feeding a minute early so he can separate feeding from sleeping.

Lay the sleepy baby down and begin to pat the mattress, NOT the baby. Each time the baby wakes, go in and pat the mattress until he goes back to sleep. This allows him to get used to falling asleep on his own while you are right there. Each time he wakes allow him to fuss for 10 seconds longer each time until he learns to fuss and then go back to sleep.

Good luck, this does work, especially because he is so young.
THe Mommie Mentor, www.proactiveparenting.net

When my little guy was born he would only sleep swaddled. After a few weeks he would sleep longer laying on his tummy. (not through the night.) usually babies start sleeping through the night when they hit 11 pounds. My guy didn't we added cereal to his formula for the night bottle only.(usually works...did with my first) So we started giving him a bowl of rice cereal for "dinner"....still not working. He was about 2 and a half months and we started giving him veggies mixed with rice at the feeding before the last bottle and that did the trick. ( my guy was 7 lbs 13 oz at birth and hit 12 pounds by 2 months...needless to say I did not breast feed for long...he ate why too much and I wasn't producing enough) So I suggest try a different sleeping position and if that doesn't work add rice cereal(easier on their tummy's) My mother-in-law told me that my husband was the same way eating wise as our little guy. I wouldn't suggest anything else until you make sure its ok with his doctor( to give him veggies).

I read I think it was Babywise when my now 6.5yo was a baby and it said to put baby down when they are sleepy, on their way to being asleep, but not so out that they dont know where they are. This way they get to snuggle down on their own bed and know it is the place to fall asleep.

My son would never sleep through the night when we laid him down to sleep on his back. The first night he slept on his tummy, he slept through the night. Make sure the bedding is not so soft that his head sinks down into it and makes it hard to breathe tho. If you dont smoke in the house, dont have a too-warm room, etc, the risk for SIDS is mimimal.

I personally *hate* sleeping flat on my back, and my baby felt the same way too. A generation ago, everyone was told NOT to put their babies to sleep on their back. Well more than a few survived that generation only to now be taught "back to sleep." Do whatever works and feels right to you.

Dont know if it will work for you, but my son was a preemie (born at 28wks) and he had such a hard time falling and staying asleep. We tried it all and nothing seemed to work. Then a nurse from the hospital suggested a vacuum cleaner. When you lay him down if he starts to stir, turn the vacuum on. Admittedly, we burned up the motor eventually, but it was worth it. It was something about not being able to sleep in silence and at the same time not being able to focus out other sounds. With my second son, he seemed to only sleep in my arms, eventually I had to let him cry it out as he got older. I usually put him in his swing when he was very little. Good luck. It can be frustrating, but it gets better. E.