To Moms of Only Boys

Updated on July 12, 2012
A.B. asks from Madison, WI
53 answers

I have a 4 yo and 1 year old, both boys. Last night I was at a wedding and a woman was commenting on how wonderful the relationship is between a mother and a daughter, after she was watching my mother and I having a conversation filled w/ laughter. I mentioned that I had 2 boys and that I likely would never have a daughter, since my husband and I are probably done having kids. This woman would not let it go. She proceeded to go on and on abt how I needed to have a daughter (and should keep trying until I got a girl) because there is nothing better than the bond between a mother and her daughter. This woman has 3 adult children, 2 girls, 1 boy.
I was so offended by this conversation, it brought me to tears. I love my boys w/ all my heart and would never change them for anything. At the same time, pre-children, I always wanted a girl. Part of me still does and gets sad thinking that I will likely never have a daugther. I'm just curious if any of you moms with only boys ever get comments like this one that I received last night? How do you respond? It seems like often I hear comments from people like "are you going to try for your girl?" or "oooh, 2 boys? good luck w/ that?" It's like people place girls on a pedestal and that your life is not complete if you do not have a daugther.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

"Actually, I was hoping for 5 or more boys. 10 would have been perfect"

The stunned silence lets me easily exit stage left and find someone who has more on their mind than my vagina.

8 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Redding on

Yeah, I got the comments... but now I have a beautiful daughter in law and a beautiful granddaughter.
Don't let those dumb remarks get to you, raising sons is very pleasant and they take good care of their mommas when they get older ;)

5 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Hah!! I am not close with my mother, but and very close with my dad. There is no guarantee. In fact, I have met MORE girls who butted heads with their mothers, then were close with them.

I have one boy. I don't WANT a girl. I am happy. I am complete. I typically say, "I'd rather have 15 boys, then one girl." It's true, and it shuts them up.

4 moms found this helpful

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

People are the same when a family has all girls, too. I usually just smile and shrug and say something about "the secret to having what you want is wanting what you have!" And if that doesn't work, tell her that that's God's plan for our family. It's hard to argue with God.

I love my three boys and I'm thrilled to be their mom. And our family is complete, no matter what some old biddy says!

7 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

OMG I have one boy and two girls and let me tell you I often wish they were ALL boys!!!
A daughter does not a best friend make.
I am closer to, and have more in common with, my son than either of my girls.
And how stupid is the comment, to "try for a girl?"
Like you have ANY control whatsoever.
Pure ignorance, I'm sorry you have to deal with it :(

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M.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I have 3 sons. And 3 daughters. In that order. My youngest son was 4 before I had my first girl. So, I know that odd perspective that you heard. Yes, there can be special bonds between mothers and daughters. They are it guaranteed. I am incredibly close with my sons also. My oldest will be getting married soon. We are so close. We text daily. He shares most everything with me. His future wife shares most everything with me also.mshe is already a daughter to me. I love her so much. If I didn't have a daughter of my own, I would certainly feel like that role is fulfilled in my relationship with her. I've known her for years, and we were close before my son started courting her. So, my point is that you are not necessarily missing out on very close relational bonds just because you don't have a daughter. Make sure your relationships with your sons are close, purpose to love their future wives, and ignore the people who project their own problems on you. We are not cookie cutters of each other in our relationships. We are unique, and we can learn from each other. Ask her what she thinks she did wrong with her son to have the heir relationship not be as close. ;)

7 moms found this helpful

⊱.E.

answers from Dallas on

I wouldn't listen to her, or at least take her comments seriously. She has some issues that are her issues not yours.

I know you asked for mothers of only boys, but I had to comment on this. I have one of each. I agree that there is a special bond between mother and daughter, but there is a special bond between mother and son, too. One bond is not better than the other; the bond is just different, not better. She obviously never found that bond with her son that you have and many other mothers have.

The bond between my son and I is very special. He is a Momma's boy and has no qualms admitting it, even at thirteen years old. My bond with my daughter is equally special but different. The difference has more to do with the fact that my children have very different personalities and are different people than the fact that they are a different sex.

Again, I would not worry about women like that. You are happy with your two boys, done having children, and that is all that matters. To be honest, I really feel sorry for her son. If her philosophy is girls are better than boys, then she has sorely short-changed her son.

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H.P.

answers from Houston on

The closeness is typically with the opposite-sex parent.

Yea for her great relationship (or so she thinks/says). This was a very offensive conversation. People tell me that my little one needs a sister (hubby has two older boys), and I just say, "We'll see." Sometimes, when I'm feeling frisky, I say things like, "You think so? Why?" and sit still while they scamper for an answer. Then they're on the hot seat, and I've got something to counter everything they come up with.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

pffffttttt.
i have 5 brothers and 2 sons. it's exactly how it should be.
would i have welcomed a girl? of course! after all those brothers i was SOOOO sure each of my boys would be a girl. and i kinda wanted it.
but i have so, so loved having boys. and my boys are so wonderful. they are fun, intelligent, interesting, caring young men. i'm so grateful they're in my life.
girls are awesome. it's nice when there are girls in the house. it would rock to have a granddaughter.
but life incomplete? with my BOYS?
nonsense.
khairete
S.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Have you noticed how many women in this world cannot STAND their mothers? LOL

I have O. son.
He's all I need--no matter what anyone else tries to tell me.
I KNOW my life is complete. Trust me!
I suspect you feel the same about your boys.
Never let a butt head make you upset or second guess your own choices or life.

I feel bad for that mother that her relationship with her son pales by comparison to what she has with her girls. Poor kid. :(

Not a day goes by that I don't utter the phrase "Thank God he wasn't a girl!" LOL

Boys totally ROCK!

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B.S.

answers from Lansing on

I had a feeling the question was going to be geared in this direction and even though I do not have a boy felt the urge to read it. (So I apologize if it bothers you I answered this)

I am a mom of 2 girls and I get similar comments but about the fact I don't have a boy. I think it doesn't matter what you have, some insensitive person is always going to have something to say.

My mother in law made an offhand comment thank God she never had girls because all the do is whine (after a day of watching my girls). My husband and I were pregnant with our second girl and his friends told him they could not imagine only have girls that they HAD to have a boy. I also get told how horrible girls are to raise and how easier boys are.

So....take the comments with a grain of salt.

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Sorry if I am stepping where I don't belong here, because I have one of each. I have a wonderful relationship with both my kids. And yes, they are a little different. But that doesn't mean that one is "better" than the other! They are just that: different. They would still be "different" if both my kids were boys or both were girls, instead of one boy/one girl. My daughter can also get on my nerves like nobody's business, because she is JUST. LIKE. ME. in a LOT of ways. Kind of a mini-me that reflects all that is wrong with me sometimes, lol. (I say that with a wink, so don't think I go around criticizing my child!) My son, on the other hand, is very much like his dad in a LOT of ways. And he can melt my heart just like him, too.

I happen to think that anybody that puts that much energy into "labeling" a relationship with their child, must be putting an awful lot of pressure on said child. I also happen to think that you can have an amazing bond with your child, no matter what sex they are. And that can't be duplicated. My bond with my son is no less than my bond with my daughter. Different maybe. But not "less".
I would just ignore the comments. She had no clue how rude what she was saying to you actually was. Some people just tend to run off at the mouth about things, and can't seem to turn off the spigot. Maybe the reason it upset you so much is because you said you did want a daughter "pre-children" and maybe you are wondering if what she was saying was true and you missed out... ? I say--set those worries aside. There is no stronger bond that a mother and her CHILD. Period.

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J.K.

answers from Dallas on

Please don't take her comments to heart. It's none of her business what you decide to do. If you feel strong about trying for a girl, then do it because you feel like that's what you want to do...not because an opinionated person says so.

I myself have one of each. Honestly, I feel very close to both my son and my daughter. Yes, having a daughter is wonderful and such a blessing...but so is having a son. There are things I can share and experience with my son that I cannot do with my daughter and vice versa. I think it's how you make the most of your relationship with your child. How can going shopping for prom dresses with your daughter be any more or less special than having a heart to heart with your son?

Be thankful for what you have and please don't feel pressured by anyone to make a decision that only you should be able to make. Every child is a blessing...boy or girl. There should be no comparing.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Oh boy yes I have heard that! I have three sons by birth, plus a step-daughter. I can say that I am built for mothering boys. I have been spoiled with boys beyond my dreams. I'm as "girl power" as any woman you'll ever meet, and I'm sure that if I had a daughter who I raised from birth I would feel differently, but I just love parenting boys.

I used to have the occasional wistful thought about helping a daughter get ready for her prom, or being mother of the bride, having a daughter give birth etc. but I'm 1000% fine without any of that. My boys brought me everything I wanted in parenting and more, and having my SD join our house FT last year was an unexpected bonus. Still, I am not her mother. I would be honored to be part of those major milestone moments in the future, but those belong to whoever she chooses to share them with and if that's her mother, then it will be a good thing because it means that they have resumed some kind of relationship. If it's me, I'll treasure the privilege but I no longer feel like life would be incomplete without those things.

I could write a book about everything that I love about being the mother of boys. You'll see it as they get older - girls are great, and I love being able to influence my SD and see her and her friends grow into strong young women, but boys are, in my experience, so much easier. Yes they have feelings, yes they are complex, yes they challenge and perplex us just like girls do, but in many ways, they are simple and easy and fun. Feed them and they're happy - how great is that?

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S.Q.

answers from Bellingham on

I suspect that parents of only girls get the same stuff about trying for a boy. Meh. I have three boys, and am pretty sure that if I had ten children they'd all be boys. Not my decision, out of my hands. I love my children, no matter what sex they are. I never hoped for either sort, because i never wanted to be disappointed by the children i gave birth to. I mean, whaddya gonna do about it anyway?

Just love your boys.

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

my son is 10 now and he is my side kick. i love my son to pieces. and i won't have any more children do to age. but my son is everything to me and our relationship is very very close. i think it's what you put into the relationship with your child is what you get out of it. just think what her son must feel like because he can see which child his mother favors!!! that is what is sad!!!

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S.L.

answers from Champaign on

I think people just need to learn when to be quiet, seriously. I have a 5 year old boy and I am pregnant with another boy, and I've heard a lot too. I told people that I was actually relieved when we found out this baby was a boy too. I can't tell you how many people have asked me if i was going to try for another and why are you happy you are having ANOTHER boy....who says that to someone? I love my son more than anything - and LOVE the idea of having another boy. There are things I think about missing out on with a daughter - but honestly, I'm super happy to have "my boys". I didn't have a great relationship with my mother growing up, and although I love her and accept her for who she is (not very motherly - more self centered), I don't have anything to compare to and feel like I'm missing out on by NOT having a girl. My bond I have with my son is wonderful and I just hope to have the same bond with my new son. I couldn't be more happier and feel blessed to be able to have two boys.

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R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

I have 4 boys.. 15, 12,11, 5 and then my daughter is 3.

While I can't say what is going to happen in the years to come but right now I can tell you than while hopefully my daughter and I have a very close relationship like my mother and I have... I know that the bond I have with my oldest son will be pretty hard to replace.

The two of us are SO close! We talk about everything. We are like two peas in a pod. We have so many inside jokes.. the same sense of humor, we love to laugh over the dumb things. Its really going to be hard to break the bond we have.

Before I divorced I only had my 3 boys. I always wanted a girl and I actually went through a grieving process when we were done having kids and all I had was boys. I know that probably sounds crazy and selfish, but I did. Once I got over it, I bonded with all of my boys on a deep level.

After remarrying and having a boy and a girl with him... I was over the top excited when I found out I was getting my girl. But honestly my love with her is no different than with any of my boys! She is still young and its not possible to have the deep bond like I do with my older kids yet... some day we hopefully will. ( same with my youngest son, I'm not trying to leave him out of this..)

My oldest and I have been through hell and back together. That has brought us so close that there is nothing that can break our bond. Not even having my daughter in the "picture".

I honestly believe that the bond between a mother and a child depends on how much us mom's put into our relationship with our kids while they are young depends on the bond we are going to have with our kids when they are older, regardless of the sex of the child.

I think some people think that women can't be complete with out a daughter and the same goes for a father and a son. If you only had two daughters, I'm sure your husband would be getting those comments unfortuantly. When we know that we can have amazing relationships and bonds with ALL of our kids... regardless of the sex of the kids.

Don't let people bring you down! They obviously have it all wrong.. makes me kinda sad for their own kids, because if they can say those kinds of things then they don't have a deep bond or great relationship with all of their kids.

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L.D.

answers from Dallas on

I have 1 boy and 1 girl and each is special and different -

However - I would NOT every want to trade the special relationship I have with my son - I can't imagine anyone loving anyone as fiercely as a four year old boy loves his mama! My son is crazy and wild and totally unlike me. I admire all his crazy boy traits and try to instill some of them into my little girl.

I really hate it when well meaning people try to tell you how to make very personal decisions.

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C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I *LOVE* having only boys too!

And I'm SO glad I don't have girls! My bestie has 3 girls and 1 boy, and every time I leave her home I count my blessings! If anything, those girls make that one boy AWFUL because he is SUCH a drama queen (and so are they)!

My boys....ahhhh...no drama. I love it. :-) I'm such a pragmatic person that I don't think I could deal with girls. God obviously knows that about me!

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I have 3 boys, no girls. I am open to having more kids, but it is in God's hands. If He wants me to have a daughter, some day I will. For now, I think these 3 boys are His plan for us.

Yes, I hear those kinds of remarks ALL THE TIME from rude/ignorant/mean-spirited/spiteful/aloof/stupid people. I don't let it make me sad, because I know that I am building a GREAT relationship with my boys. While I don't think the relationship between a mother and a daughter can be DUPLICATED, I don't think a mother-daughter relationship is any MORE special than that between a mother and her son(s). My mom has 3 boys, 2 girls. She has different relationships with all of us, but all of them are precious.

If God never gives us a daughter, I hope to be one hell of a Mother-in-Law to my sons' wives. (Not the kind of MIL that so many poor women here on Mamapedia have to endure :)

Even my son's school had special Mother-Daughter events, and Father-Son events, but no Mother-Son events. Oh well, we do our own Mother-Son things in our house at least once a week. I love my boys so much, and at this point, I'm not even sure HOW to raise a girl. My niece is so different than my boys :)

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

She should mind her own business and realize that just because some have great relationships with their mothers, others do not. I do not have a good relationship with my mom. I try and bite my tongue to encourage a relationship with her and my son but she drives me crazy. She never abused me or anything but we clash and were never close. So many guys I know are so loving / loyal to their mothers where so many girls I know clash heads with their mom's. Because of this, I remember feeling relief when I learned my child was going to be a boy. We are very close. I can't imagine a stronger bond..despite gender.

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J.F.

answers from Atlanta on

No matter how many kids you have and what gender they are, there's always someone who thinks it should be different and makes no bones about telling you.

I have one son, an only child by choice. I had always wanted a boy, and was thrilled to learn that that was what I was having. Six years in, I wouldn't change a thing. But I can't tell you how many people - family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, random strangers - have insisted that if I don't (a) try for a second child and (b) hope for a girl, I will ruin my family's life forever and ever. It's annoying beyond words, but I've come to realize it's their hangup, not mine. I just smile through gritted teeth, let them ramble on and then change the subject.

I think part of your reaction to this woman's insensitivity comes from letting go of the dream of having the daughter you'd always wanted. That's normal and OK. Let yourself mourn that a little bit, if you need to, and give yourself time to accept it. At the same time, enjoy your boys with all your heart and recognize that every family is full and complete in its own unique way.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

That lady at the wedding MUST have been my mother! I love my mother to death and we are quite close, but I am tired of her constantly saying, "You need a daughter" (I have 3 boys and we are done). I am one of four (my brother has 2 girls, my older sis has twin girls, and my little sis has 1 girl and 2 boys).

I have said to her so many times that it hurts my feelings when she says that and she just doesn't get it! I love my boys and I wouldn't trade them for anything. When I was pregnant with #3, I actually really wanted a boy. I knew this was our last and I didn't want a girl because she would never have a sister. I have 2 sisters that I am very close to, and I would have wanted that for my daughter.

My husband is an only child, so his mom has no daughters or granddaughters. I am very close to his mom and she refers to me as her daughter. She went wedding dress shopping with me, we get pedicures together, etc. We do lots of mother/daughter stuff. I try to go out of my way to be her "daughter", because she doesn't have one.

I just have to hope one day one of my sons marries a great gal that can be my "daughter"!

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

Was she drunk? I would never say something like that to a woman who doesn't have a daughter! In fact, I never comment on people who have no children, one child or all children of the same sex. I know it is none of my business.

I must say I have one daughter and two sons. Guess which kid gives me the biggest headache? Yep, my daughter. I would like to think that we'll have a close and loving relationship when she is an adult, but there is no guarantee of that.

That woman sounded like a spiteful braggart. My MIL loves to brag to her friends about her wonderful children and grandchildren. The only problem is that many of her friends do not have children, have children who are struggling, or do not yet have grandchildren, despite the fact that they would love to be grandparents. I think she does this to make herself feel superior somehow. And then she wonders why she is always losing friends.

Anyway, I'm sorry that woman hurt your feelings. I few years ago, I had just miscarried an unplanned (but very much wanted) pregnancy. My husband and I were shopping and the salesperson at the store innocently and casually asked me and my husband if we were done having kids. I felt like I had been punched in the gut. It's amazing how dumb comments from strangers or casual acquaintances can affect us so much. You are so blessed to have two boys. That's probably the best response I can think of.

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S.B.

answers from San Francisco on

They are BOTH unique and wonderful relationships! the sweetness of boy/ mother relationship is just as wonderful of the spice and everything nice of girls!

Both uniquely wonderful.

S.

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J.☯.

answers from Springfield on

I also have two boys, and my brother has two girls. I always thought I would want a girl, but when I was pregnant with my second one I began to realize that I really did want another boy. I would have been thrilled to have a girl, but I think once he was born I began to forget there was ever an idea in my mind that he would have been anyone other than who he is.

I think it's all about what you're used to. My nieces live nearby, so I see them all the time. I love them dearly, but they are very different than my kids. Probably because they are girls but also because they have different parents. Anyway, after they leave there's always a part of me that is very happy to be with my boys again.

No matter what we have in life, there will always be something that we don't have. We might have to spend a little time and energy morning that which we don't have, but most of us will be so much happier if we focus on what we do have and how wonderful that is.

I have 2 amazing boys, and our family is complete. There are moments when I see a commercial or I remember something I did with my mom or I see a daddy with his little girl and I think about what I don't have. But then I remember what I do have, and I feel pretty lucky.

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J.C.

answers from Rockford on

I have 2 boys and I had the comments too. I just answered honestly that I am glad I had boys and never wanted a girl, which is true. I think boys are awesome, and I think girls are awesome too (2 stepdaughters), but raising girls just wasn't for me. Honestly, I have nothing against girls but I'm still glad I had boys, and if I had more I'd want them to all be boys. I'm thinking I might be ready for a girl when I'm a grandma, but that is still a ways away yet so I have time to prepare, lol!

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Ha!
She obviously has never seen a mother and daughter at each others throats before!
I have one child, a son, and we are so close - real kindred spirits - I would never trade him for a dozen daughters.
Just chalk up this lady as someone who has limited life experience and/or a total lack of imagination.
Some mother/daughter relationships resemble a combat zone.
It can be the same with either parent and either sex child.
Being a bit of a tomboy myself I've always gotten along better with boys at every stage of my life.
It's one of the reasons I've done well in a male dominated industry (IT/tech).
Girls can be frivolous and catty and I think are more prone to being drama queens.
Of course there are exceptions!
Some girls are very nice and some boys are heck on wheels!
Just let this lady's opinion slide off you.
It's not worth worrying about.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Honestly, I do not want a girl and thus far have a WONDERFUL bond with my son. I really do not want a daughter - just a personal preference for me.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I barely talk to my mother and neither does my sister. The reason is my mother is an incredibly selfish person. So she had 2 daughters and neither of them have a relationship with her. It isn't the gender, it's the behavior that counts.

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B.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Honestly, I think it's just plain sexism or personal favoritism and pure nonsense. I feel for this woman's son!

Don't even buy into it for a second. Telling people what gender of kid they ought to have is just unfair and ignorant behavior.

Be grateful for ANY kids you have, no matter which "type" :)

xo

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

i have 3 boys and 5 sisters. i would not trade my boys for the world.

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D.B.

answers from Eau Claire on

My aunt has 4 boys. Her comment to nosy people was "I'll get my daughters when they boys marry.". She kept to her word and treats her daughter-in-laws like daughters and is happy as could be.

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K.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Well the do the same thing for parents with only girls. People have a misled conception that every parent needs AT LEAST one of each. I also have an only child and I always hear "don't you want at least one more so he can have a playmate" or "You can't stop yet cause you don't have a girl." However, I have no intention of having another one, at least not anytime soon.

Personally, I think the bond I have with my 1 year old is amazing. He looks at me like I'm the coolest person on the planet and I don't mind playing "boy" games with him and wrestling around with him. I also get the best hugs and snuggles from him just like I would a little girl. I don't think I would have any extra joy from a girl versus my son. He is a total mamas boy and always picks me in a room over any other adult, including his dad. We are super attached and I couldn't ask for anything more. While the woman would've bugged me, I would've just politely told her simply that "I wouldn't have a better bond with a girl then I would a boy and I don't appreciate your pushing that I need anything more from my life then my sons love." I wouldn't be super emotional about it and be greatful that you have two beautiful, happy, and healthy little guys in your life who probably think your super cool as their mom :)

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K.D.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have two boys and if someone says something about having a girl yet-I just say that I will have daughter in laws someday and that will be wonderful for me but that my boys are great!

I feel sorry for her son-maybe she put more effort into her relationships with her daughters than him.

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A.L.

answers from Charleston on

I have one of each, so I can answer objectively. Girls and boys and their relationships with you as a mom are different. Girls love their moms, and as they mature and become adults, they usually tend to be closer to their mothers. BUT, they LOVE their daddies unconditionally! Boys are usually sweet to their moms through about age 8-10, then the natural change starts to occur where they become less open about their love for their moms, because, hey who wants to be a "momma's boy"? Does that mean that they don't love her? NO! They just don't show it as openly as a girl.

I recently witnessed a 14 year old boy hug his dad in typical male fashion - a good old back slap. Then he did something that took me by surprise. He turned around and took both of his mother's hands and squeezed them tight and smiled at her. It melted MY heart, so I can't imagine how she felt!

This lady from the wedding is obviously insecure, and obviously doesn't have a son because she has no clue on how wonderful the relationship between a mother and son can be. Both relationships are wonderfully different in their own ways. My 9 year old girl hugs me and gets mad at me all at the same time. My 5 year old son tells me constantly that he loves me and that I'm pretty, and when he's mad at me, he tells me he doesn't want me to be mad at him anymore. haha.

My life is not complete based on what the sex of my children are. I am just fortunate that they both were entrusted to me to raise, and I could have cared less about whether they were boys are girls when I got pregnant. I just wanted a child who was healthy, and who I could love unconditionally.

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M.B.

answers from Tampa on

I also have one of each a 6 year old boy and a 5 month old girl. And let me say this while I adore having my girl there's something special about my son and my relationship. He's a total mommas boy! He's my partner in crime! LOL there nothing wrong with boys! People like that need to learn to stay out of others business!

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Man...I heard that ALL THE TIME with my two boys. It would piss me off!! "when are you going to try for a girl?" Ummm...
Then I got pregnant for the third time....low and behold I got a girl.
NOW I am pissed when people see my two great sons and say, "Aww...you FINALLY got your girl!" Ummmm....
I had to sit my two boys down after the 1,000 time of them hearing that and tell them how great and wonderful they were and that I have loved them and never cared that they were not a girl. That the people that were saying that were not aware of how fab they were. It would make me mad!! It's like saying my two boys are not what I "really" wanted....which is SO NOT TRUE! I cried tears of joy when I was told that I was having boys.
Guess what? I love my daughter....but she has been more work then BOTH of my boys combined. Phew!
L.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

That sounds so freaking annoying!! What was her deal, trying to "convince" you? Some ladies I know are close to their moms, but many are not like my mother and me. You can't make any generalizations and it all depends on the parent, the child, and the dynamics of their relationship. My son is only 4 but we have a great relationship based on respect and understanding. I can't say if it will last forever but don't let people like that bother you. I would have told her thanks for the advice and gotten the hell away from her!

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L.E.

answers from Provo on

Respond by telling them what you love about your sons. That has even shut me up before when I was just trying to make light banter about the rambunctiousness of my boys.

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I guess it really depends on your personality. Personally I hate most things girly (pink, gossip, giggling about celebrities...yes I know these are stereotypes) and love most things boy (water balloon fights, dirt, rough and tumble play). So for me, having a son is fantastic. We are very close, take long car camping trips together, and can chat and laugh together for hours. My SIL, however, has twin girls and I have no idea how she would have handled having boys. She freaks out every time my son bumps into a wall or falls on the ground.

In terms of response...hmm...someone that is that insensitive to the listeners feelings...I might have said, "WOW, I feel sorry for your son!"

Fortunately I have never met such a rude person and no one has ever asked me if I wish I had a girl.

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S.C.

answers from Des Moines on

Personally, I thought the mother/daughter relationship SUCKED from the daughter side and I was NOT eager to try it from tyhe mom side, so I was HAPPY to see Mr Winkie on the ultrasound!

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C.U.

answers from Omaha on

I am a mother of one son and I couldn't be happier. I love him more than life. He is only 4 but life is good. Don't let these kinds of comments bother you. I get the ones "so when are you having another” when I say we are not you would think the world stopped. People are stunned that we are only having one. People say dumb things all the time. If you are happy which it sounds like you have a great family and are happy then just let it go. I love my boy and would not change that for the world. Not to say that if he had been a girl I would not be equally as happy though.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I have a much better relationship with my son than my daughter. I have a terrible relationship with my own mother. I don't know many woman who are "friends" with their mothers. I know some are, but I think the mother/daughter relationship is a very strained one.

I'm sorry she was so inconsiderate and mean. I'm pregnant with a third and hoping for another boy!

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

The best thing you can do is be happy with the life you have and look at that kind of stuff with humor. People that try to make you feel like you're lacking have issues that are not your problem.

Elisa B.: "...an older woman from our church told me that your boys will leave you, but your girls are yours forever."

I love my mom, but I'm independent. I moved out at 18 and currently live 80 miles away. My sister lives 5000+ miles away. But both of our brothers have never left our hometown and they are around mom more days than not.

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L.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

I am on the other end of the spectrum. I have all girls and would have loved to have a little boy. I am done having children though and love my children to death. Everyone always asks me if I want a boy. I don't think anyone is ever happy with what children you have. The only person that has to be happy with the decision of what children you have and when is you.

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A.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am so happy I have a boy because I remember how bad my mom and I fought when I was a teen. I have my little buddy who I can do all sorts of yucky things with that a girl would probably refuse to do.

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

If you had two girls, people would be asking if you were going to try for a boy. You know, someone to carry on the name and all that. Some people don't know bounderies and this lady is one of them, ignore her. There is a chance that you would have boys even if you had 2 or 3 more. If you are happy with your family as is, that is what matters, not what others think and say. I know a family in church while I was growing up that had 3 or 4 boys and she wanted a girl so bad. Then there was also a family that had 4 girls and everyone wondered why they didn't have a boy. My cousin has 4 girls and when it come to grandchildren, she had 5 grandsons before getting a granddaughter. At least we aren't like in China where we are only allowed one child.

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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

It's interesting how our culture has started to seem more girl oriented. I have just one child, a son. People have already said I needed to "try again for a girl". My MIL only has sons and grandsons, she was pretty disappointed. There is just so much more out there for girls. Clothes, toys, room stuff, etc. It seems boys get cars, dinosaurs, sports, or jungle animals and that's about it. I have a friend who moved here from Nigeria, when she first came to meet my son, she told me how happy her family at home would be with a first born child being a son. So many parts of the world favor boys, maybe we're just trying to even it out! Boys love their mamas, if I get a girl someday than that's great, but a few boys would be fantastic too!

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D.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

I love having 2 boys and have accepted the fact I was meant to be a mom to boys. Have they ever thought about the relationship between a mother and her son? It's the best.

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S.A.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have 2 daughters and I still hear, so when are you going to try for a boy! It is the most frustrating thing. We still hear it from people that are very close to us too, they just can't seem to let it go. People say dumb and insensitive things. Sorry she got you so upset.

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

I ditto EXACTLY what Laura said! When I was pregnant with #3, an older woman from our church told me that your boys will leave you, but your girls are yours forever...but I still love my boys to death, and would have been 100% fine with a third! My daughter, too, is more work than the boys were by a long shot!

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