Too Emotional - Feeling Down

Updated on December 15, 2010
J.T. asks from East Northport, NY
17 answers

Hi Moms,

I think maybe I am too attached to my husband? He is on a trip right now and will be back very very late on THursday. I am just flat out sad... I am playing with my daughter and smiling, but inside I am really really upset. I truly hate it when he is gone (I always have, even before our daughter came along).

It isn't that I am non-functional upset, although truly a cup of cocoa and book to block out the world is what I used to do when he was gone, I just have no ambition and have to force my self to do the things I need to do.

Really just a vent I guess... I should be fine once I get us out of the house... Walmart, buy stuff, read a book during my daughters nap, then off to Gymboree for a couple hours. But then there is tonight... when I have to do his stuff and mine... and then go to bed alone... I was just putting away one of his magazines and I was walking around holding it like a teenager mooning over something her boyfriend accidently left at the house... ugh...

Thankfully he does not go away too often...

And I also feel stupid for being upset about a week when there are families separated for months because Dad (or Mom) is deployed. I really feel for those families...

Anyway thanks for "listening"

Jo

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Featured Answers

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I dont even like mine to go to the hardware store, I miss him and worry till he gets home. It's called LOVE :)

4 moms found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I travel for work and feel the same way sometimes. Probably even harder for you with the baby (it was for me). Can you skype? We started doing that the last few months of my travel, and it has really helped, but I am still sad afterwards.

4 moms found this helpful

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S.G.

answers from Norfolk on

I think it's really sweet. I would feel the same if my husband were gone! Could you use this evening to call a girlfriend and catch up? Or maybe have a glass of wine and pop in a movie that you KNOW your husband wouldn't really want to see. Or make something special for dinner or a snack that is something you love but maybe he doesn't. I hope your husband knows what a lucky guy he is to have a loving wife like you at home! I hope you feel better:)

7 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from New York on

I know that feeling all to well. That take your breathe away until he returns feeliing.

You love him and it's sweet but honestly you need to find something to do that will keep your mind occupied and your body just too tired to dwell on it for long. Life still needs to go on and you need to figure out how to do just that.

I have had to do the same thing often. I just really enjoy my husbands company.

4 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Awww, don't think it's 'stupid'! I think it's nice! My guy would certainly LOVE it if I felt that way. He is gone most weeks Tuesday through Friday, and I guess I DO miss him sometimes. But I'm a very solitary independent person, so mostly I REALLY enjoy the time alone.

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M.M.

answers from Dallas on

My husband used to travel a lot! I would cry every single time he left. At that time, we had been together for 14 years! I also found I wasn't as motivated and would just find myself sitting in front of the TV. You aren't being stupid for feeling this way. I never could explain it...

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N.W.

answers from New York on

I totally get what your feeling. All I want to do is curl up with a book when my husband is away too. I try to keep myself busy during the day and at night I end up cuddling up with my daughter because it's just too lonely for me to sleep by myself. So your not alone.

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

<<<o>>> big hug.... LOL there are alot of women who wish their hubbys would go away for a week.

You miss him thats awesome. Just imagine what you will feel like when he comes home. My husband is a truck driver and he was gone for 3 weeks at a time. The 2 days he got to be home were awesome!!!

4 moms found this helpful

M.3.

answers from St. Louis on

Aww. I think its kinda normal. I feel really lonely when my husband goes away. I feel really overwhelmed. Its hard not having an adult to talk to and hang out with. Hang in there, he will be home soon. :) My husband is working really late tonight and Im going to go hang out with my parents.- Nerd! lol

4 moms found this helpful

S.D.

answers from Phoenix on

work on something really neat for a surprise when he comes home. it may take up the time he is gone. i don't know if it is rearranging a room, adding some pezaz to your bedroom, putting up a christmas tree in your bedroom, with little notes about how much he means to you and love you. Work on something that will make it OK for him to be gone because you could not plan some surprise if he wasn't.

nights are hard, get a movie and popcorn for yourself that you have been dying to see. get on the phone with a friend . bake.

you will get through :0)

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I have to travel a lot for work and find that the first night away is relaxing... hotel room, long bubble bath, do my nails, watch trashy t.v. but after that it just stinks.

You're not stupid for missing him, but you need to kind of pull it together for your daughter! Get out of the house for a while, find things to do that you wouldn't do with him and the time will go much faster. My husband and son have a totally different routine when I'm not around. If I ask, I get "we're doing guy stuff" as a response and that's okay with me.

Take a bubble bath, have a glass of wine tonight and watch something on Lifetime!

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

that's not really a bad thing is it, you still long to be with him, at least it's not like some marriages out there where you just can't wait for the spouse to be gone.

so sweet

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i think it's sweet!!
i love it when everyone is gone. i have a 'me' party.
but just for one night. i get really lonesome if they're gone longer than that, especially my dh (since the boys are on the move more often than not any more.) fortunately it almost never happens.
hang in there, jo! it's okay to moon for your sweetheart!
:) khairete
S.

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C.F.

answers from Boston on

Sorry your feeling this way sweetie -- But I really think its healthy (not stupid), your not laying on the couch in tears. You just feel like your missing a part of you. You must really have a Wonderful relationship ! Does he know how much you miss him? He would be flattered I'm sure :-)
My DH is a Firefighter and gone a lot on 24's, 48's and sometimes 72's. I miss him sure, But I really Love my alone time. Everyone is different. Maybe you and your daughter could make a silly video for him when he get home :-) Lol I hope that your feeling like yourself again soon !! xoxoxoxo

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A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

I think it's sweet that you miss him so much!

When my husband has to travel I use that time to enjoy complete command of the remote (Lifetime Movie Network anyone?). The kids and I are less disciplined too. ;) I wouldn't want to do it all the time but it's fun every now and then. Just try to make the most of the time. It will help him to know that you are confidently keeping those home fires burning.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Wow that's nice that you miss your husband. I have a question for all of you young aged brides, can you function on your own without hubby around? What if he were not to come back? I am not trying to burst bubbles just a look in a different perspective. When he is away can you do a hobby or have a night out with the girls and be your real self again?

Perhaps my questions come from being a military wife and we have/had to do things on our own without hubby around. Yes we miss them but life does go on and we function. Granted the 30 to 365 days away gets old quickly but you adjust. Of course when hubby comes back it is like a honeymoon for the first two to three weeks.

Try to do things for you so that you keep busy. Enjoy your baby and have a good holiday season.

The other S.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Don't feel stupid or over attached. My husband travels for work too and it sucks. Try to keep busy I'm sure it will pass quickly and he will be home.

2 moms found this helpful
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