For the first 3 years of his life, my son slept beautifully through the night in his own bedroom. Now at almost 4, he is terrified to be alone...with or without a night light. We thought at first it was night terrors because we'd wake up in the middle of the night to find him standing in his bed screaming and visibly shaking. Now he refuses to go to bed by himself. Even if he sleeps on the floor in our room, he'll still bolt upright in the middle of the night and start crying until he hears our voice telling him that everything is okay. He has also become afraid of things that seem pretty safe - feeding ducks (terrifies him to the point that he won't get out of the car to walk by the pond where the ducks are...even the baby ducks!), animal rides at zoos (pony or camel - he flipped out when we suggested either one). He was always such a fearless little guy before all of this. Any advice on how to get him back in his room, sleeping soundly through the night? My gut says this is not a tough-love, make him cry it out kind of thing. It seems that something else is going on and he's truly feeling insecure. We have a strong and happy marriage and family environment (a baby bro who is 18 months....who sleeps soundly in his own room and has NEVER slept in our room). Maybe it's his preschool environment? A good school but he's the youngest in his class (August b-day). We're already heading down the extra year of pre-school route to help build his confidence. Any other ideas that could help now?
My thanks to everyone for taking the time to respond. Your suggestions and experiences have really helped! I love the idea of interpretive play with toys to give him a place to express fears or anxieties. We're not there yet, but it sounds like we'll get there.
I think it's a phase. My daughter started doing that a little between 3-1/2 and 4. It just takes a lot of love and patience - and not forcing him to do anything he doesn't want to, like feed the ducks. He'll come around eventually :)
Well, I wish I had an answer for you but instead I am feeling your pain at the moment and reading all of your responses hoping you got some sort of "miracle answer". My son is 3 1/2 and just recently started going through the same thing of not wanting to sleep alone (and he too used to be an amazing sleeper..no light, door closed etc. etc.) He complains about seeing "scary faces" in the texture of the wall. It has gotten so bad that he doesn't even like to go to the bathroom alone! It's been exhausting and it's hard on my husband and I because we are arguing about how to handle it. I guess the only thing that is reassuring is reading all of these posts and seeing that it is pretty common. Some kids have it worse than other but the same general fear is what I have gathered from reading on here.
I wish you the best of luck at figuring it out and would love to hear from you if something does work wonders for you and your son.
Take care :)
Oh, and by the way...I also have a little one (15 month old), just wondering if the younger sibling is really playing a part somehow with our little guys. Uggghhh! I don't know, I am just grasping at straw here trying to figure it all out, I guess :(
That's a tough one. I have a 7 year old who has the same problem. It started when he watched the movie Spiderwick (or something like that) a year ago. We just keep reassuring him, helping him and being patient with him. We definately are more careful about what he watches.... Good luck to you!
It is possible that, like the others said, it will just go away. Pre-school or TV or something else could be behind it. If you can make the time, try to spend 30 minutes before bed doing focused play, where you watch, repeat back what he's doing, follow his lead on how you should participate. To do this, take a small box, like a shoe box and put small toys in it that can be used for creative play......small cars, figurines like Sponge Bob, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, small people, small animals, etc. This play can help him sort out what is going on and work it through. If it gives you insights into something bothering him you can check it out with him. The problem may resolve without you ever knowoing what caused it. But if you get a clue you can then help him through it. If you need more of an explanation, you can email me. ____@____.com
My son went through this after my MIL took him to a scarey pumpkin farm when he was almost 3, what an idiot she is. Of course we didnt know it would be like that or we would have never let him go. But for over a year afer that, he slept with the light on and was scared to be in his room at night. It was very difficult but we did what ever we could to calm him and tried not to be too aggrevated. I thought it would never end but then just recently he started to be ok with a night light. So, it may take a long time, but it will pass. For us its been almost 2 years.
Continue to try to coax this out of him. I was terrified to fall asleep for years as a little girl. There are too many things on the news that children over hear. Your gut is right. Let him know over and over how safe he is and that you are so close to him. Perhaps bring up the fact that you too have had fears in your life. Poor little guy give him a hug for all of us. One for yourself, too!
Hello! We had a similar problem to what you are having. Our daughter had extreme fear of going to bed because of fire. We were told to be sure to have fire drills so the kids know where to go if there is a fire. Corissa, from then on, screamed and cried at bedtime and wouldn't go to her friends house anymore without us. We did a lot of encouraging that everything was alright to no avail. I happened to be in our local health food store and mentioned it to the owner. He sold me these natural drops called "Bach Rescue Remedy" that helps calm and settle. They helped tremendously! We also got a poster of the serenity prayer for her wall and recited that every night before bed. With a lot of patience and understanding, the drops and the prayer, we got through it. I've used the drops myself when I get worked up. Sometimes I have to have a couple of doses, but I love them! You drop about 3 drops under the tongue and count to 20 or 30 before swallowing. They do not have a horrible taste and they really work! We just told Corissa that they would help her feel better. I'm not sure if this will help, but I will definitely be praying for you all!!! Sincerely, E.
Updated
M., I've been thinking more about your problem. (I answered about the Rescue Remedy). Did this problem start right after or shortly after his brother was born? Or maybe when his brother started being more active? That could be the problem too. When Corissa's 2nd sibling was born, she was very angry and said really mean things, but not always directed to the baby. It took me two weeks to figure out that she wanted a brother, not a sister! Once we figured that out, we talked about it and everything worked itself out, until the fire drills! I had two more children after that and we prayed every night when I was pregnant that God would give us a wonderful little girl or boy and we would be blessed with whatever he chose for us. The 4th child was another girl (4 girls total) and the 5th child was a boy. Corissa was much better after each of those pregnancys, especially the boy! (which was born on her Birthday!!!) Sorry to go on. This brought up a lot of memories for me. Corissa is now married and my youngest will be 11 on June 18th! Take care and again, I will definitely be praying for you and your family. Keep strong, it will pass, just give A LOT of love and understanding! Sincerely, E.
I wish I had a magic trick for you. My son was similar and he ended up sleeping on the floor in our room or on the floor outside our door for a few years until indeed, it magically went away.
as he gets older he will forget about that stuff
