Trouble with Step Children

You and your husband need to go to counseling if you both want this marraige to work because step-parenting is VERY difficult! I know from experience. My step-children are 25 and 22 years old and I have been married to their father for 15 years. We have been together for 21 years, total. There are alot of things I could say to you but don't have time right now. If you want to discuss more you can email me directly. Let me know if you would like that. Good luck!
P.S. The first year married is the hardest.

Dad needs to step up and get that grandmom and other family members to back off. the problem with the x..well, that may never change. she needs to be ignored. and the kids.. well, they just want mom and dad. it's hard on kids and you have to keep in mind that this is all about the kids. I had a similar problem and we adjusted the visits to every wednesday after work/school he spent time alone with his daughter.. just went to dinner, out to a show or just a walk in the park. but it gave them that special time together that they needed. then every other weekend it was blended family time as usual. I also had my children of my own and it was very difficult at times lots of jealosy issues..but it all worked out. the kids are 20-22 now .
but I think that if you let the kids know that some alone time with dad is important and by all means welcome they may start looking at you in a different light.. what the heck, give it a try, couldn't hurt. make it look like there getting what they want..when in fact there getting what they need.. quality time with dad.
good luck.

Stepfamilies are HARD!!!! Dad needs to take a bigger role in ensuring the kids give you the respect you deserve. He's the ONLY ONE who can make this situation better. You two have to be a united front in dealing with them. That means he needs to talk to all parties and lay down the law with them. Nothing else will make it better. Trust me on this one- my ex-husband didn't do it, and it was a partial cause of our demise. He'd take the side of his kids' moms, his mom, his kids, etc. Not always, but that didn't matter. If he did it once, it damaged our relationship. Grandmom needs to back off; she's not a parent here. Her role needs to be clearly expressed to her by your husband. The kids need to be put in their places, as in they need to be told that they are NOT in charge. Sometimes an "Oh, well!" is in order for them. Children don't run things for good reason. If I were you, I'd back off spending time with the kids until he starts backing you up. Oh, and step-family counseling wouldn't hurt! Good luck!

Maybe try counseling...for all involved. Basically, the kids want their parents to be together and they see you as the "evil" one who is getting in the way. So sorry you are going through this. Do you belong to a church? If so, talk to your pastor and see if he can help. If you are looking for a church, I know a great one!

Sounds to me like the kids are ruling the roost here and soms discipline needs to be put in place. I was a kid of divorced parents, I went on my weekend no matter how much I asked not to go (at least until I was old enough to legally make the decision). They are not old enough to make this decision for themselves and if there is court appointed visitation, then they have to go. Dad is going to have to tell the grandmother to butt out, but in a nice way. She isn't there parent here. How are they ever going to adjust with this going on? Dad needs to put his foot down with the other family members for this to work.
As for the relationship with you- maybe all of you can go somewhere that they would really love to go- like an amusement park, putt-putt, roller skating, etc. When you are having fun, they may see that you are not so evil after all.
Good luck, and I hope this situation gets better.