Tubal Under the Circumstances

I am so sorry you are going through this. I feel if you have any doubt do not go through with this. This is only something you should do when 100% certain. Plus with all you are dealing with it ay be hard to make a rational decision. If you choose not to have children later on, you can still do that without having had ther tubal at this time. I wish you all thes best, those children will give you so much strength as you got through this tough time. I am a single mo.ther of a two year old, his Dad and I broke up when he was 6 months old. You will get through this.

Personally, I would wait, but that's just me. I had 3 boys when I married my husband & we ended up having 1 & thinking about another. But, I didn't have complications with any of my pregnancies. I told him that before we were married I was thinking of doing a tubal & he said he didn't know if he would have married me because he wanted children of his own (even though he did adopt my boys). Yes, you will find men out there that will not care, but I wouldn't do it. I believe things happen for a reason & you'll meet the right man someday, but don't make a decision until then.

I invite you to take care of your own body. If your pregnancies are high risk you are taking a chance with both the baby and yourself.

Don't be afraid of someone not wanting you in a future relationship because you can't have any more kids!

You have three now!

Love isn't defined by our fertility.

Good Morning S.,
My best advice for you is to research ALL of your options and listen carefully to your heart. First decide if your marriage really is over. Are you both positive that the issues you see can't be worked out? Next, talk to your dr. If you have difficult high risk pregnancies, is it HEALTHY for you to consider more children with anybody?
I had my tubes tied in 2005. I have 2 healthy children and I was 36. I have not had any problems with my tubal ligation. I did however, have 7 miscarriages during my marriage before my tubal.
No one can make this decision for you but if you are preparing for baby 3, what happens to them all if you decide to have a baby in the future? Is it fair to your 3 babies to risk your health for #4?

I would say, do what you feel is right, not what a potential mate in the future might want. If you have difficult pregnancies, and have enough children for YOU, then you will know. Go with your heart.

It's also possible that Mr. Future Right might NOT want to bring his own child into the world. This was the case for me; I got my tubes tied about the time I left my first marriage, and a couple of years later my most perfect mate came into my life. He was relieved to find out I wouldn't get pregnant again.

There's no way to predict everything that MIGHT happen in the future. What you DO know is that pregnancies are high risk for you, which means they threaten the well-being of the children you've already mothered. This isn't only about you, it's about your kids, too.

BTW, I have always been happy that I made this decision when I did. No regrets.

If am man wouldn't be interested in you becuase of your ability to have children, that is the WRONG man. I have my tubes tied and it is a nightmare. I'm saving to get it reversed. Although I have twins everytime I get pregnant, I'm willing to chance it.

I don't advise tubals to any woman. Research research research. I wish I had.

Hello! I am sorry for your circumstances. This should be a happy time with a little boy on the way. I would hold off on the tubal ligation. It is sooo permanent. I was your age when I had my third child. You still have time. May God Bless you and your children.

All I can give you is my own experience...I got my tubes tied after my 2nd daughter shortly after my marriage ended..jump forward a few years and I am now in a relationship with a wonderful man, we are about to purchase our first house together and while he too has 2 daughters (yes that is 4 girls 11 and under!!!) the thought of a baby together makes my heart beat faster. I am very much regretting the tubal, so much that we have looked into IVF and tubal reversals. He has known fromt he beginning that I had the tubal and is fine with it but we both look at babies while grocery shopping with longing in our hearts. Hope you make the best decision for you and your children!

Unless YOU are sure, don't do it. You are too young. You still have alot of time left and like you said, when you do have a new relationship (I would wait a bit) he may or may not want his own kids. You will at least have a choice then.

I would wait unless our gyno says its necessary for halth reasons. But if you think your gonna hav another relationship with someone else I would wait.

Don't get it! When you find another man, you may want children with him... You are very young and you could regret it... I am sorry about your marriage, but congrates on the baby boy! Kids are a miricle =)

If you're not having sex with a man, then there's no chance of pregnancy so no reason to get them tied now. That's a decision you can make later.

Unless you are 100% sure (and it doesn't sound like you are) I wouldn't do it. You just never know where life will take you and until you have absolutely, not even the tiniest doubt in your mind, I wouldn't do it. Go get an IUD or something and give yourself that 5 years to be sure.

That's my plan. I'm currently pregnant with #2 and 31 years old. I'm 98% sure this is the last kid for us but the plan is to get an IUD after this baby is born and then when it's time to replace, THEN I'll make a more final decision. I'll be 36 then anyway so it will be time to make a final decision (IMO) anyway. :)

I would not do it. Not because you it will effect your ability to have another relationship (though honestly, it might), but you just don't know what's going to happen to you 10 years down the road... how do you know that you will not want another child with a new partner?

Get another reliable form of birth control (IUD, Shot, Implant) when you start dating again...and see where life takes you.

do not get them tied. You will not be getting pregnant anytime soon. So why worry about something you don't have to yet. Your way to young. I had my first child at 37. My girlfriend had her first at 40! and another friend had her second with a 2nd husband and he kids are 9 years apart. NO way . You just don't know what God has in store for you. Good Luck.

I wouldn't do it. You never know what life will bring you even a year from now, let alone 5 years from now. I say just be careful if you are going to be having sex with anyone. It is pretty major surgery, so I cannot imagine doing it just to do it.

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband is wanting a divorce. That is tragic.

Absolutely don't get them tied at this point, but before I address why, here's some thoughts. It probably is a good idea to do it due to your high risk pregnancies, and one should not feel they have to "provide the goods" that a potential husband might desire, especially since its based on what you think a man would desire. A real man would be thrilled that you were putting your health (and the health of the unborn child) first, rather then risking it to create a child. You need to make a decision based on what's good for you period. You may never remarry, you might find someone that has kids already, or someone who doesn't want more and loves yours as his own, you just don't know what the future holds. Your reasons for getting one will probably not change too much in the future. Many women are able to find a 2nd spouse without providing them with children.

Now, all that said, here's why I'd say don't do it now. This is a very fragile time for you, dealing with not only a pregnancy but your husband leaving you. Your emotions are all over the place, so its a bad time to make a big decision, like weather or not to tie your tubes. Give it some time, wait until the baby is at least 6 months old and your hormones are more normal, see what your situation will be at that time, and what you think is best for you in the long run, and then make a decision.

Right now your life in in a limbo place and you have the world in front of you. I would say that since it's not a health risk for you to go on without the tubal then don't worry about it now. As for a man not wanting you if you can't bare his children, there are plenty of good men that have married women that can't have children for one reason or another.

tubals can go wrong or very right. mine went beautifully at not much older than you. if you as a woman feel that you are done because of the difficult pregnancies, then still do it. a good man would still want to be with you regardless.

This is what I wrote on a similar post earlier today...

I got my tubes tied at the age of 25 after my second child was born. I have antibodies against my babies platelets so I thought this was best. It caused a terrible hormone imbalance that I couldn't live with AND I regretted that I couldn't have any more children. I ended up reversing it 3 1/2 years later. I'm from AZ and I flew to Tennessee to have the surgery because it was so much cheaper. They cut along my C-Section and opened me up to reverse it. I had 3 more kids (4 including a miscarriage and actually I'll deliver the 3rd one in 2 weeks!) after I reversed it. Reversing it was the best decision I ever made. Not only did my symptoms go away and I was free from a hormone imbalance but I got the most precious gifts in the world, my children. Our family is forever blessed because of our decision to reverse my tubal ligation. My doctors want me to tie my tubes again because I'm having a C-Section but I absolutely will not ever put myself at risk of having another hormone imbalance. I'm going to be 40 this year and having my 5th baby so we're not planning on anymore but TL is out of the question for me. That's for sure! I hope my story helps you! Good luck to you!!

Tubals have many side effects... you need to research that. Myself, I would not get one.

I wish you well...
all the best,
Susan

I got mine done back in 2001 and ever since have never been the same. I would NOT do it and I had wished I was able to get a hold of someone to let me know otherwise read this post that I came upon after a couple years went by . I found it so rewarding to know I was not feeling anlone. I am now saving money to get it reversed so I can be myself again.
http://retardedrugrat.wordpress.com/2006/06/14/post-tubal...
Best wishes