I'm wondering for all you twin parents what piece of advice would you pass on to other parents of twins to help them get through the newborn stage. Thanks so much!
Don't look at the clock in the middle of the night and enjoy them as individuals. They will have their own schedule, and try to meditate a few minutes a day, it really helps with being tired.
I have twin girls that are almost 3. Are these your friends first children? If so, my practical advice is definitely get them on the same schedule when they are ready. My other bigger picture advice is reach out to any close friends with twins or join a multiples group. I had a best friend from college with twins and having her to ask questions to was a lfe saver. It was also a big emotional help for me to have someone to talk to when I was struggling who knew what I was going through, especially on my toughest days early on. I totally disagree with thinking about those who have triplets or more. When people said to me (and people do ALL the time) "well at least you don't have three!" It only made me feel worse about myself for struggling with two.
The first few months, even through the first year is about survival. Do the best you can, do what works for you, especially if these are first kids and you hve no clue what you are doing (I didn't!). Try not to compare yourself to the picture perfect moms at lunch with their baby and friends, shopping with one kid, making adorable Pinterest keepsake books etc. there WILL be a day where you are so happy and grateful you hve two....but that day is still a ways away. Be forgiving to yourself and know that your kids will not remember the mistakes you make at the beginning.
I have triplets instead of twins. The infant swings were my lifesaver, they loved them. I am sure you will get awesome advice here and from the hospital. But no matter what, do what fits YOUR life and family. I got really great advice from hospital nurses and from Mainly Multiples, a support group. Some fit, some didn't. Also, even if you don't need it, contact companies or maybe googling would work but a lot of companies have special programs for families with twins or more. I got packages of Pampers and Huggies, formula, coupons for other stuff. I pumped and fed my babies breast milk but supplemented.
Definitely get them on the same schedule! The key to survival.
Join a multiples club in your area. If you Google twins club you will find one or let me know if you need help and I will get you the info. I get so much support
from all the Moms in the club that have been there, done that. You cam write questions on the message board like this and they will respond to all your needs and questions. Give it a try. Have fun and enjoy. Mine will be 6 in 6 weeks and I am shocked and a little sad that the time has gone by so fast.
T.
If someone asks what they can do always give them something to do. People love to help out.
Know early on that no parent is perfect. If you only have 1 baby to deal with you won't be a perfect parent. Having 2 means you have twice the opportunity for imperfection. Forgive yourself for short comings and don't harp on would have, should have, could have.
Sleep as much as you can. If the babies are sleeping then you sleep too. Cat napping during the day makes up for being up all night.
If you get to the end of the day and everyone is fed, mostly clothed, and still breathing then you did a good job.
I don't have twins but am one. My mother swore by a SET SCHEDULE. She said the first six months were tough, but after that it was a breeze. You always have a playmate! And we slept in the same crib until we got too big to share.
And I love twin names.... either rhyming or beginning with the same letter. :)
I am the mom of 7 year old twin boys...wow, do I remember being in such a fog that first three months! It was exhausting but as you can see, I survived :-)
I think what I would share is that it is OK for one twin to cry while you take care of another. If you are like me, I was alone during the day while my husband and older daughter were away at work and school. In the beginning, I would be in a panic when both were crying at the same time but I couldn't "do" both (whatever it was they needed). After sharing that with someone who had gone before me, she assured me that it would be ok to let one cry for awhile to meet the needs of the other, that it wouldn't hurt him. So, if both needed something at the same exact time, then I tried to alternate who go help first so one wasn't always the one waiting :-)
Also, the same schedule is so important. My boys literally slept, ate and pooped at the same time LOL. I made sure both finished their bottles so that they would be hungry again at the same time or else I would have literally been feeding all day and night at crazy random times.
I could think of a million other things to share but I'm sure others will have great ideas to share too so I'll stop at these two :-)
My sis has 6mo old twins. She has said over and over how important it is to keep them on the same schedule. When they were still feeding in the middle of the night, she and her hubby would get up, so both girls could eat at the same time. Even now, they each feed one, so they eat at the exact same time!
I swore by the vibrating chairs. My boys loved them and they were a life saver. They immediately calmed down my boys and they slept quite well in them. I didn't stick to a schedule at night. On twin was a very good sleeper and would go 3-4 hours at a time. The other twin was all over the place with sleeping, so I never woke one up to feed. It was tiring and there were times where I was up for hours at a time, but it was worth it. At about 2 months they scheduled themselves and did everything at the same time. I also formula fed, and I do think that formula fed babies do sleep better.
Also, if you bottle feed, two bobby pillows are a must for feeding. I also mastered the art of putting blankets under the bottles to prop them up. I still sat with them while they ate, but instead of holding bottles, I could stroke their hair or hands while they ate.
Just think of the Mom's who have, more multiples.
I have a friend, who has... TRIPLETS!
The best advice I was given: The babies do not have to have a bath every day. You are cleaning the dirtiest areas multiple times a day, add washing their hands and faces with a warm wash rag. Bathing every other day is fine. Also, when one wakes and breast feeds at night, when finished, wake the other for feeding to promote syncing the same schedule. Instead of putting them on a chair or table or couch, I put them on the floor and sat with themso able to play with both at the same time. The dinner hour was the hardest time of day when every member of the family had needs. Someone to help during that time would be pricesless. It is possible to
breast feed two babies at the same time. At first you need help figuring
it out and propping them in the right angles while holding their little heads.
In the first several months, you can keep a little journal, who pooped and how often and how long they are eating. Enjoy. These days are very short
lived whether it seems like it or not. Good luck.
