Two Toddlers in the Same Room?

If you really want to keep them in the same room then it will take a while. You need to sit in the room with them until they fall asleep reminding them to stay in bed and be queit. Each night you sit closer and closer to the door until you only have to peek in on them. It might take while but it should work if you are willing to put in the work. Good Luck!

An odd solution these days (norm in my family of origin):

2 twin beds. Push them together to make ONE bed (seperate sheets/bedding). That way they can still talk, but they're IN bed. Rule: NO getting out of bed.

Also... it helps a lot of the time to put the boxsprings down. When mattresses are on the floor they can just roll right out (or slither out) and end up playing on the floor with their toys very easily. The extra 6"-8" of a box spring won't hurt them if they roll out of bed in the night, and it 'delineates' IN and OUT of bed very easily.

My family is full of multiples and irish twins. What's normal practice with multiples just turned out to be good practice with the rest of us. Pile the kids in bed together, because they're going to either end up in one bed ANYWAY, or they're going to be pestering each other awake all night getting in and out of bed. But pile the kids in, and while they may whisper and giggle, or occasionally steal blankets... they don't have to work to get the other one's attention. So, by and large, they both just lay there talking for a few minutes and then fall asleep.

In my family it's the norm to share two twins (or a queen) until puberty. Of COURSE we'd complain about it from time to time (just like parents can worry about anything, kids can complain about anything... even icecream! Complaints are a normal developmental thing). My grandparents would laugh and say:

"OH NO! You have to share a bed with your sister! And who else? What? No one? Well that's the problem! Mother! You're only got two children in a bed? You need three or four! There's too much space!"

"Noooooo! Granddad! There's not enough space! And KELSEY has her own ROOM. SHE doesn't have to share!"

"That's what I'm saying! Put a few more in there! You can fit at least 2 or 3 more in! The girls are lonely!"

I have 3 boys in a room - 6,5, and 2 1/2. 6 and 5 are fine, but the 2 1/2 yr old causes trouble if he goes to bed with the others. Many nights, when we can't stagger bedtimes, we let the 2 1/2 yr old fall asleep in our bed and just carry him into his bed when we are ready to sleep. Not perfect, but it works.

Why keep them in the same room then? Is there a reason you need to do it? They are at strange ages to be screwing with schedules. If it NEEDS to be done, I'd put the older one to bed a 1/2 later and see how that works out.

Do they have to... be in the same room?
That... is the problem.
It is not, their fault.
They both DID, and used to have... a good sleep habit and routine in which they went to bed and then fell asleep.
Not anymore.

My sibling and I, could NEVER NEVER EVER... be in or sleep in or inhabit the same room. No matter what age.
Even at my age now, I would go crazy, having to share a room with her.
It is just oil and water.
Even Mary Poppins, could not fix that.

I think yes, it is expecting too much... to expect a 3 year old and 18 month old, to share a room AND be quiet AND be still as statues and fall asleep in 20 seconds, on their own.

Keep them separate. In their own rooms.
There is a HUGE difference, developmentally, between a 3 year old and an 18 month old. And a 3 year old, cannot 'babysit' the baby. 3 year olds don't even have fully developed impulse-control yet either. And you can't predict their movements or moods.

I think you are expecting too much too soon. I have 3 1/2 yr old and 22 month old boys and we MUST separate them in order for either one to fall asleep. Don't despair. Some day they will be able to overcome the distraction of the other one in the room and fall asleep on their own, but probably not for a year or more. I suggest staggering their bedtimes or putting them in separate rooms.

When I initially put my toddlers in the same room at almost 2 and 4 years old they reacted similarly. My punishment for them not laying down and being quiet after a few minutes, was that the troublemaker would have to go sleep in a different room. (The troublemaker was usually the 2 yo and the "other room" was his old crib). They loved sleeping in the same room more than the bedtime playing so they eventually accepted that they would have to go to bed at bedtime. Also, I think it just takes a little time for the newness of the situation to wear off. Good luck.

I don't think it's too much to expect. We had our boys share a room from the time we moved into our house (younger one 6 m/o, older one 2 y/o), and they have never had a problem with it, aside from the occasional time that one or the other cried out in the middle of the night and woke the other up. Maybe it was because we started them out so young, that they were used to it.

I think parental expectations have a lot to do with things, though. Kids are notorious for testing boundaries, and seeing what they can get away with. Sometimes I wonder if parents' almost expectation that their kids will not do well in some way becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy somehow.

Anyhow, it may be best to remember Barney Fife, "Andy, we've got to *nip this thing in the bud*!" ;-) Your kids may need a little extra guidance and strictness in this area, esp. since they've been doing this for a while now. What I would try if I were in your shoes is as follows: Today, talk sternly to your older son about your expectations for bedtime [that he and his brother will be in their respective beds, and WILL STAY THERE; that he is to lie still in his bed and go to sleep, just like he did when he was in his room by himself; that he went to sleep so well, and was so good then, and that you know he can still do that]; perhaps also to your younger son, as much as you can on his level -- that bed is for night-night, and he will go to bed and stay there. Then, when you tuck them into bed for the night, you remind them again of your expectations ("remember -- you will stay in bed and go to sleep!"), turn off/down the light, and *almost* close the door [you may need to have the hall light off, so that they can't see you]. Then, if/when either of them starts to sit up or get out of bed, you sternly say through the crack in the door, "Lie down!" or "Go to sleep!" Very likely the child will be astonished that you saw him through the "closed" door, and will obey you. Then a few minutes later, he may try again, and you will still be there watching, so you will tell him again to lie down and go to sleep. As I say, "nip it in the bud" -- don't wait until the whispering becomes talking, or the talking yelling; don't wait until the child sitting up becomes the child on the floor, or over at his brother's bed -- reprimand at the first sign of mild disobedience (sitting up, whispering), so that it *doesn't* become disruptive.

We just went through this with our sons a few months ago--my youngest was 22 months and my oldest was just over 4 years old. I didn't want to do this, but my youngest started crawling our of his crib 6-7 times a night and it was getting dangerous, so we decided to switch him to a big boy bed. I first tried to put a big boy bed in his nursery, but all he wanted was his big brother ad would just scream for him when we put him in bed, so we thought we'd give it a try.

Prior to the switch, both boys would do the same things your kiddos did, talk to themselves before they fell asleep. It didn't go that easily when we made the switch. It took a good 3 weeks of "bedtime hell" before I decided to just let go and allow them to "goof" around until they fell asleep on their own (sometimes in the same bed and I would just move them when I went to bed). Before that, I also tried staying in their room until they fell asleep, but I would just get frustrated laying on their hard floor listening to them goof around when I knew I had a thousand things to do, so the nights would always end negatively and I hated that. So, I decided to take out all the toys and books from their room every night before they went to bed and I turned the door lock around so I could lock it from the outside--once they realized that there were no toys and that there was no escaping for the playroom, they started to get the hint.

There are still nights when they have to get the sillies out before they fall asleep, but they eventually do. It was one of the hardest transitions of either of their childhood, but it's great now and I'm happy they get to share a room--I LOVED sharing a room with y sister when I was younger. Good luck, it's so hard when everyone isn't getting enough sleep.

Separate bedtimes. When the little one is asleep the older one won't wake him.

I think it is just the newness of the situation and it will get better soon. The both sound like good sleepers, so that is a huge plus for you. Have you tried rewarding them for staying in bed and going to sleep, even if it means only one gets the reward? Or even punishing one or both for getting up?
Be strong and you will all be sleeping better soon.