So I know I just posted a question like 10 minutes ago, but I think there's something bigger going on with me.... I just feel lost in space, I think. A little background: once-divorced with 2 kids, married to a man once divorced with 2 kids. Both have full time jobs, his of the "kiss-goodbye-in-the-morning-and-pray-he-makes-it-home-that-night" variety, two different shared parenting schedules, and one intrusive ex, while the other keeps to himself. Hubby works straight 8's, normally, but is now teaching Deputies as well, on his weekends, and is picking up all the OT his people bail on. His career is a legacy to him, as his father was also a cop his entire life, and I have a deep respect for his devotion to helping people. My job has kept me longer and longer lately, as we are in our busy season, and I am not getting home until @ 6:30pm. My hubby is always on kid pick up duty, he cooks, handles homework, etc. by the time I get home, there's 2 hours for dinner, clean up, showers and bedtime for 4 kids. Very little couple time left for us. I just feel like I am getting nothing done at home anymore, and my natural priorities have been forced to shift due to work. I think all this internal turmoil is causing me a slight crisis, and I need to know how I can re-balance.... So every little thing isn't such a huge deal to me. I adore my husband, and I adore our children. How do I adore myself again? I used to be super confident and Superwomany! I miss that me. Advice on the balance, and clearing my head of the ridiculousness?
Someday, you will be able to hear a pin drop in your house-that is sooner than you think-take this time to savor every moment-it will go by in a blink. God bless you.
Have you tried doing a gratitude log? Remind yourself what you have to be grateful for?
What about meditating?
Cut some time out of your schedule and lay a blanket on the living room floor and grab a bottle of wine and glasses and have your husband lay there with you....catch up...snuggle...kiss...tell him all the things you appreciate about him...tell him how you are feeling...lost...
Keeping a journal or a gratitude log can really go a long way in helping you clear your mind...start a to-do list so you're more organized during the day.
What is keeping you longer at work? Is there something you can do to change that?
There are a lot of smart people on this board. Hopefully, you'll be able to combine a few of what people tell you and make yourself feel right again!!!
Good luck!
Wow Robin -- you said it. "You will be able to hear a pin drop." Ain't that the truth. And that silence is oppressive.
Are you getting enough sleep? I vote for using any means possible to make sure you are getting at least 7 hours of quality sleep nightly. I have recently realized how critical this is to a sane mind.
Try mediation. 10 minutes a day does wonders for re-centering.
Could you afford to go to part time, so you can be home more and feel more a part of things w/the family and have more time to yourself? It just sounds like you are devoting way too much time to your job that you will never get back. That would put me in crisis mode, too. Your husband sounds awesome, by the way!!
Sounds like you are (understandably!) getting burned out. I have been there too. In times that I think I should be superwoman, I think this thought "People who LOOK like they have it all, either don't really have it all or they are not as happy as they seem". It is times like this when I avoid FB for a while.
If this busy workseason will pass, I would ride it through by hiring a housecleaner/lawnmower person so your family can devote time together and stress less about those tasks. But if work isn't going to slow down for either of you, I think you should think about reducing your hours or finding something else.
