We Just Moved

I would not expect normal for several weeks. And then, it won't be old normal but a new normal. Hang in there. Your expectations for behavior for the four yr old are the same but expect to use disapline more often as she acts out and tries to find your boundaries again! Find time to explore new areas of the house and sweet new things to share.

My 3 yr old in a new house found the halls and kitchen and the living room to be connected one day. He found me and said with big shining eyes, you go that way and I'll go this way, we met, of course.

He exclaimed, ITS a CIRCLE! Only a 3 yr old would be that excited!

The 2 yr old will be the same off schedule for a while.
Hang in there!

Time. It just takes some time to adjust. They will. Be patient with them.

Yes, I would agree that the 4 year old is trying to figure out if all the old rules still apply. Of course, they do, and she will figure that out very quickly, as long as you apply the same consequences as before and don't chalk everything up to "new house anxiety" and let her get away with poor behavior.

You could, in fact, reiterate to her in actual words that everything is the same except for the building. It might help.
Some of it might be a little bit of anxiety, but once she sees that you aren't changing any rules on her, then she should settle down. Try not to add to any drama she is creating with the behavior and I wouldn't tie it to the new house when you are talking to her or disciplining her.

Like everyone else said, it will just take time, patience and consistency on your part. One thing I'd like to add: talk with them about the changes. They may at times be sad or angry or excited or hopeful. All of those things are totally OK. This is most likely the first (or one of the first) really big changes you've experienced as a family. Talk about what's different in this house (more space, longer driveway, different color house, greener grass, whatever). And talk about what's the same (same pots & pans, same beds, same dog, same TV or sippy cups or whatever). A couple of very important "same" points to make: the rules & expectations are the same and the family is the same. Regardless of where you are and what else changes, you're still a family and still love each other and that is that. Mommy is still the Mommy. Daddy is still the Daddy. And sisters are ALWAYS sisters.

Hang in -- it will take time but it will be fine.

Great responses! I do want to add. When we moved what I found helpful for our 4 year old was driving by tbe old house. She would identify the neighborhood first, the as we approached she would say hi to the "old house". We would talk about what is better at the new house(more space, new room, etc). We moved in August 2012 and she stll does this when we are in the area(we live within 12 blocks of the old house). But, it seemed to help! I also frequently praise her for her "big girl" things that happen at the new house-so she feels that the new home is a part of growing up to big girl status.

It's normal to take up to 6 months to adjust to a major life change like moving, a new sibling, a loss, etc., for adults and children as well. So it may be quite some time yet before things return to "normal." You foresaw having more space as a blessing, all they know is they didn't ask for the change ;)

Meanwhile you keep routines as close as possible to what they were before the move, encourage them to "like" your new home and neighborhood by taking walks, visiting nearby parks, talking to people you meet, etc. Show by your excitement that your new home and neighborhood has things to be excited about. And don't slack on disciplining tantrums, and "fresh mouthed talk," unhappy or not isn't a reason to misbehave, let it go and a pattern will be set that is harder to break. As far as anger encourage your four year old to talk her feelings out, tell her to use her words, ask her "Why are you angry?" so she can begin to sort her feelings out. My daughter was 3.5 and 14 when we moved, she shut down both times but eventually grew to love our new homes. With your two year old make sure she has a lovey to snuggle with to help with self-soothing, I bought "welcome" stuffed animals when we made a move, (even when she was 14), blinds or a shade for darkness, something for white noise like a fan on low, a nightlight, and a predictable bedtime routine. Basically her feeling of security has been breached, she needs to be reassured that you are all together, and that is what matters. Check out some books from the library on moving, the children's librarian can help you locate them, and make them part of your bedtime routine.

And have a party to celebrate your move, something to show them the move was a great thing. A favorite meal, cupcakes and balloons is enough, and if you want a small gift for each daughter. As they see good things will happen in their new home they'll begin to enjoy it and slowly adjust. Hang in there, it could be a rough few months.

Multiply how you feel discombobulated by the move - that's how your kids are feeling. They don't have the words or control that you do as an adult, so even though it's a good move, it's a real whammy for them. It may take a few weeks. Extra lovin, snuggling, etc. Don't know if there is enough room in the 2 year olds bed, but if you can snuggle with her before she falls asleep, that might help. Or sit with her in the room till she falls asleep - just to reassure her that you are still there.

How do you feel making the move and being in a new house? Any times when your anxiety increased? I'm an adult and I am anxious in new situations. This is not only a new situation but a major life event. When I'm anxious I'm less patient and can be cranky. I will have trouble sleeping too.

They will go back to being their usual selves once they're used to the new house, new routine, and you are also more relaxed. Now is the time for more patience and spending more time together. Let the unpacking go and spend time with the girls. Their reactions are normal and caused by stress. Once the stress is relieved they will be more them selves. I'd say it may take a month, perhaps less time if you're able to be very consistent about supporting them.

When the older one mouths off or has a tantrum, sympathize with her. When it's the mouth, calmly tell her that's inappropriate and suggest that she's feeling angry or cranky about something. Talk about the ways we feel and how we can express them. I often tell my grandchildren, when they're cranky, to tell me that they feel cranky and we may stamp our feet together or give a loud yell.

When she's throwing a tantrum, treat it in the same way you'd treat any tantrum. Tell her you're there when she wants to talk about what's happening. Then leave her alone. Let her work out her feelings in the only way she's able to at the moment, by throwing a tantrum.

Also be sure that they have regular meals at regular times. Play down sweets. Be sure that they get good physical exercise. Both are important to managing feelings.

it has oooonly been 4 days. i suggest it will take a few weeks for everyone to really feel at home.

keep the daily routines normal. discipline very, very consistently for bad behavior. it's just a process they are going to have to go through. the 2 year old sleeping will just have to come about on its own naturally.

they say (i have seen) that it can take up to a year for a big sibling to accustom to having a new baby. give it more than 4 days for their whole house to be different. be PATIENT with them. (your kids had no idea the old house was too cramped, keep that in mind lol. i'm sure they don't get why this has all happened.)

It's only been four days, try to relax and be patient.
Moving is a much bigger deal to them than it is to you.
Give the family a few months to settle in and find a new groove.
A bigger house feels better to you, but not necessarily to them, so keep that it mind (though they WILL appreciate it more as they get older.)
Also four and two are ages full of change and transition anyway, so even if you didn't move things would be different. Your "daily routine" is going to change and grow many, many times over the years so be prepared for that and stay flexible!