What to Tell 10 Year Old About Mom and Dad Alone Time?

Dr Phil had an interesting response to this the other day :) He said that he told his two boys that if mommy and daddy's bedroom door was shut, they were not to come in unless one of them was on fire :) You don't have to go into detail, but just that if mommmy and Daddy's door is shut, you need to knock and wait to be let in. period. They don't need to know what you're doing. if they ask, just repeat, you need to wait to be let in.

I think he just needs some boundaries. He needs to be told that once he goes to bed that is his parents' alone time. It shouldn't be acceptable for him to just get out of bed whenever he wants for whatever reason he concocts. I think you should tell him that he is only to get out of bed if it's an emergency...any questions he has to ask or thing he has to tell you can wait until morning, PERIOD. Make this a rule, and if he breaks it then set up a repercussion. I think he's a little too old for that kind of behavior. If you're ready for the sex talk, which I think he's plenty old enough for, you might work that into this somehow. Good luck!

Put him to bed ealier and then wait till he goes to sleep. It beats fighting it and then ruining the moment.

I'm new here but I have to say this is disappointing so far! I was told it was a very supportive group, without all the judgement that comes from family members! It amazes me that some of these people think your 10 year old should know all about sex at this point! My 12 yo is practically clueless from all I can tell! I have tried to approach things with him a few times, just asking basic questions - he knows about what girls go thru every month, but even a few months ago he mentioned hoping that our new bunny rabbit was a girl so that she could have baby bunnies for us - she is an "only" rabbit! I know we have to have the talk soon enough, but I haven't wanted to ruin his innocence too soon! I agree with the person that says answer ONLY the questions he asks - don't give them too much info that they aren't developmentally ready for! As a psych major back in college, I thought I had it all figured out - I would raise my kids perfectly! WELL! They have taught me a few things in life! But I firmly believe that way too many people think their kids are ready for stuff, or just let stuff on TV, internet, magazines, etc... just slide right by thinking their kids won't pick up on it! AND DR. PHIL!? Give me a break! Doesn't anyone actually care about what REAL experts think, not Oprah and Dr. Phil? Good grief people!

At the risk of sounding "too preachy", I look to the Bible for my answers first, not TV celebrities that act funny and know-it-all about everything in everyone else's lives! I mean, Oprah doesn't even have kids and won't get married - what would she know about any of it?! And you don't have to look very far into Dr. Phil to see you could wade right across his gene pool!

By the way, Dr. James Dobson suggests that MOM should talk to the boys and DAD should talk to the girls - for many reasons, but both parents should remain approachable and feel comfortable talking to their kids about anything - as long as the child is mature enough to handle it. Opposite sex parents give the child the perspective they need to be sympathetic to others' needs and also to open up the lines of communication between the sexes...

I hope from now on that when people ask for advice on one topic, they don't get a barrage of insulting comments about how they should be teaching their kids something based on a chronological age - and not even addressing the real issue that was posed in the question!

Give the kids boundaries about privacy and following bedtime rules - PERIOD! That is all anyone needed to say, not to criticize you about not forcing too much info on your kids! And if you'll notice, most (not all) of the people advising that kids by age 10 should know everything already, they don't have kids that age yet! They will be surprised by how YOUNG a 10 yr old kid can be - when their baby reaches that age, they might feel differently!

All the best to you and your family!
M.

Good afternoon R.,

My husband and I have "movie night" every Friday. After 7pm, our door is closed and there is NO knocking, questions, tattling, etc. We have 3 children - 18,11,8 and we explained to them that we need alone time, just like we let them go out side with their friends without calling them every 5 minutes. We've been having movie night for about 4 years - we do actually watch a movie first...when it first started we had a daily schedule on the refrig that listed all their activities with the times next to them. At 6:50 it listed last question, tattling and prayer - so you can't say you forgot...Questions are always going to come up but it's up to you to set the boundaries on what is important and what can wait...

Be blessed!

Thanks for asking the question and it enlightened me too (LOL..) though it has not become our concern yet (9,6,6 -- three boys). Our kids are welcome in our room also at any time and since I am from Indian culture, it is what I grew up with (and I knew nothing about sex till very very late ..). Your question is more regarding boundaries -- my kids know not to interrupt me if I am doing anything (on the phone, cooking -- of if I look busy and rushed). I have told them to discuss any issue with each other (or write it) and I will talk to them when I have time. Also, when I am talking to one child, another one is not to interrupt (younger ones are still learning this). They can raise their hand and wait or write it down, so not to forget. I sit with all of them as much as I can -- one to one also or together and give them hugs and stuff -- but they are not supposed to interrupt me when I am busy doing something. Mostly at night, they all read book (two of them are book lovers and the third one can generally convince one of the brothers to tell him the story) -- and I love reading too(uninterrupted, just like them) so they have not just come knocking on the door. If once in a while, in their sleep, they wake up because of a nightmare -- they can come -- generally at that time, they have been too tired and upset to notice what we are doing, if something is going on. It is not about sex -- it is about learning that each one of us need their time and privacy.

Take Care

Well R., I hope you are still reading because I disagree with many of the people that responded to your question. I do agree that your issue is about boundaries not sex education but I also have a huge problem with some of the advice regarding sex education. I have never had the walking in problem because we always had sex after the tots were in bed and once they were in bed, which sometimes took about a gazillion years each night, a tornado could blow through the house and all three would sleep through it. If they were ever up when the door was closed, they had enough sense to leave it shut. I digress.

At 10, your son should be getting sex education at school, it is standard practice for the 4th grade in most schools not only in Texas but across the country. What people fail to recognize is that giving someone information does not give them permission to do things they are too young to be doing but does protect them from mistakes they are too clueless to understand.

Case in point. I met a woman through work years ago when she was probably around 23, she got pregnant at 15, why? Because she had no idea where babies came from and when her mother commented when she saw the boyfriend kissing her, she was already actually pregnant with her first child because she had no idea what she was doing when she first had sex.

I started having talks with my daughter about alcohol, drugs and sex when she was around 8. Alcoholics on both sides of the family so I figured I had better lay the groundwork for teen drinking early. As questions came up, our talks expanded and as we had many of them in the van, my sons have heard everything I have told her. She knows how I feel about sex morally, what our church's views are, and I have stressed that whatever decision she makes about having sex because in the end no matter what we teach them it is their decision, that I want her to make sure she is having sex for the right reasons, i.e. she loves the person, she is not doing it to make him happy when she doesn't really want to, she is not doing it because he is telling her that he will leave her if she doesn't, or out of fear that he will leave her if she doesn't even if he is not overtly pressuring her. For my boys, I tell them that I expect them to make sure again they love the person, that the woman really wants to and not just to make them happy or to keep them around.

My kids are 9, 13, and 16, they have so far, keeping finger's crossed, never walked in on me in a compromising position and while my 16-year-old has fairly good knowledge, I suspect that my 13-year-old thinks he knows more than he does and the 9-year-old is pretty much clueless at the giggly stage. They all know the mechanics and my youngest will get that portion of things this year in health class.

The reason I felt the need to speak up were the comments about keeping the 12-year-old innocent, which of course we all want to do, but not giving them any information even if they don't ask at that age is not necessarily the best thing to do. When my daughter was vaccinated for HPV, my OB/GYN said that they like to give the shots by 12 or 13 because they are useless once a girl is sexually active and way too many are by that age. Girls are getting pregnant in middle school and I suspect it is due more to lack of knowledge than anything else.

Kids on farms back in the day obviously had a great deal of knowledge about reproduction and yet they were not sexually promiscuous because they adhered to their parent's morals. It is no different today, whether you give a child knowledge because you took them to one of the state parks and they saw first large tortoises coupling and then I think it was the donkeys, or you teach them from a book, it is knowledge that they need so that they don't wind up in a situation they are totally unprepared to handle.

My talks with my daughter have progressed to exactly what she should do if she winds up on a date with a groping boy. If he doesn't listen she is to get out of the vehicle even if it requires physically disabling said boy, and call someone to pick her up. Too many girls get trapped into doing things they don't really want to do because it is so important for a teenager how they appear to others. I don't want my daughter hesitating because she is going to worry she might look stupid and please God forbid, wind up date raped.

For people that think you should overly limit the information you provide your children, my daughter currently plans to wait until she is finished with grad school to get married and to wait until she is married to have sex, so the information I always freely provided obviously did not give her permission to leave her childhood behind or lose her moral compass.

Basically, I'm in agreement with several posts here.

At ten, do you truly think he doesn't know about sex?? Does he go to school?? They start covering that topic around the 2nd or 3rd grade now in many districts. He might know a LOT more than what you believe!!

Also at his age, why doesn't he respect you and his father and obey?
What discipline or boundaries have you established with him? If it's necessary, put a lock on the inside of your bedroom door, and after several times of being told to retreat to his own space, and any questions can be addressed the next day (if he even recalls why it was urgent to interrupt you after his bedtime!).

Try some of the tips from these gals, and if necessary seek counseling. Your marriage is at stake, and the stress of this situation could eventually put a wedge between you and husband.

And be sure you AND dad sit this young guy down and find out what he does and doesn't know about sex. He's at a crucial age and he needs to get the truth and facts from his parents, not peers or visuals on the web, or even from a class at school taught by someone who might not present it in the best way. (IMHO the kids don't need to know how to put a condom on a fruit, or that if they want to experiment sexually with either gender, it's okay as long as it feels good.)
And wouldn't you rather be the source for ALL his information, whether it be sex or anything else?? Get the lines of communication open wide with your son!!
Don't wait and have the heartbreak of him claiming "he didn't know" when he and his girlfriend might need to inform you of an STD or a baby on the way at age 15-16.

Hope you resolve this and soon; keep us updated.
Best of luck.

D. P.

I have a 5 yr old boy and a set of 2 yr old twins (boy and girl). I am convinced that they all have a sex radar and they feel that it's their citizens duty to interrupt whenever that radar goes off. I simply told my 5 year old that dad and I need alone time. Just like it's important for me to have alone time with him, just the two us, I have to give each of the twins their own time also, so it's only fair that I give dad his alone time. I explained to him the reason why daddy and I spend most of our alone time at night is because I devote the whole day to him and the twins (I am s Ttay at home mom). And for the most part he understood and was okaay with that. That speech didn't completely stop the interruptions, but it sure did cut it in half. Hope this helps. God bless you. Look on the bright side. You don't have to worry about purchasing any birth control. Your for year old provides it for free! (lol)

Does your son see you and your husband snuggle and cuddle in front of him? I was given some great advice when we first started having kids - make sure your kids SEE you together. When they see you snuggling, talking, and loving on each other in front of them, they feel secure in the relationship. Even though they can't readily identify it or put it into words, they want to know that you love each other. Seeing you disappear behind closed doors doesn't show it. We have found that if we are being consistent to show affection in front of them, they are more likely to let us be alone together as well because they have a concept of what we're doing (without needing to know about the sex part). When my hubby and I haven't had a lot of time together, my young girls interrupt us constantly. But, when we even spend five minutes a day being affectionate in front of them, they get excited about us having our "date night" (99% of the time at home while they are reading before bedtime), and they protect that time for us more than we ever could for ourselves.

He's big enough to know that you don't HAVE to answer every question he asks; and definitely not right away. Some things just are not his business. With that being said... We told our kids that they were to let me and dad have time without them. They could survive without our attention just fine.
When the kids were smaller (they are 20, 20, 16 & 14 now) we had a set bedtime for them , around 9:00 or so, and made the time past that "mom and dad" time. Even if we just sat in the family room and watched a movie, it was our "date" and we needed that time to stay friends and stay in love. We told them this time was needed to protect our relationship and marriage. They understood that and respected it once they started noticing how many of their friends have parents that are either divorced or remarried. The kids want us to have a good relationship and it is understood that "dates" are needed to guarantee that.
As far as the "sex radar" part, he may be curious about the "are they doing it" factor. Again, I'd stress that this is none of his business and he is NOT to knock on your door when it is closed. You need to go ahead and be open to talking to him - within limits- about the big S. He's going to ask someone, it needs to be either you or his dad. (Dad is best for the boys.) Mom teaches romance to boys better than dads do, but my boys were more comfortable talking to dad. Maybe dad can take him fishing -or somewhere- and ask him what he already knows and if he wants to ask any questions. Wait for the questions though. Don't answer more than he wants to know, and keep the answers to the exact question that was asked. Offering extra may be more than he is mature enough to handle and can open up even more unnecessary curiosity.
It's not easy getting time alone. Guard it!
If all else fails... have him stay the night with a friend or family member; I bet he'd enjoy that!
good luck!
L.

I know several posters have mentioned that your 10 year old definitely knows about sex. I just want to say, you know your child best. If you think he knows about it, then he does. I was told by an expert at our school that my 4th grader knew all about it. I didn't think she did, and I was right. When telling your child about sex, it doesn't have to be a personal discussion. This is what your mom and dad do. It can be in general terms about adults in general. This is where your own values come in. WE always used married adults. If the kids wanted to transfer this knowledge to their own parents, that was fine, but I wasn't putting it there. Also, I found that keeping the sex talk in the context of where babies come from was helpful also. I always found that my children's sex radar started when they were babies. It's like that was their way of making sure there wasn't another to replace them. Didn't work, because I have 4 children.
R.

Hi R. this is late but I wanted to respond, As a married woman of 27 years, I am here to tel you, that quality time for you and your husband is essentail for a long happy health marriage, Kids have all day to ask questions, you mentioned open door policy, I think the open door policy is more about being approable about anything, not so much about the actual door, I read all the responses, and I agreed with Mandy's the most, what goes on in the bedroom weather it's sex or just talk, the kids don't need to know. But having a child knock at the door almost every time, for me would be a turn off which would not be fair to my husband, We do have a know beofre entering rule in our house, and my husband and I both knocked and our kids doors, we stil do, we don't just walk in, or know when we know they have friends over, or recording music, etc. If you just got your 4 year old in their own bed, you have already lost precious time with your husband, buy having a child in your bed with you. It's kind of hard to be spontanious with a child in your bed. You had a lot of responses so am sure you got the help you needed. Kids are great, but they need boundries, they will understabd that more when they get older and want privacy. J.

.

I would like to respond that as a teacher I know for a fact that sex education is NOT standard practice in the 4th grade or all across Texas, most schools do not offer any type of real health education even until the 9th grade. In the school district I work (I have been teaching in public schools for 12 years)the "talk" is in the 5th grade and it specifically discusses what it means to go through puberty, changes in the body, a period and why you have it. They separate the boys and girls they show them an education film, talk a bit give the girls some samples of pads and deodorant and the boys just deodorant and tell them to ask their parents if they have other questions.

My daughter did ask me about how to use tampons because a girl in her class ask the nurse and she said they were not going to discuss tampons. My daughter is 11 going to the 6th grade some of her friends have started their menstrual cycles but not her yet. The school does not and will not discuss sexual behavior AT ALL. Do not rely on someone else to discuss sexuality with your children. Open the door to the conversationa nd let them ask questions when they are comfortable, if they get too old then you may have to force the conversation on them because as mentioned before many children have their first sexual encounter in junior high between the ages of 12-14.

Good Luck

Well, the horse is out the barn so to speak. Open door is nice but there are times when you go to the bathroom and shower that your child does not need to come in on you. How about changing tampons and things does he just come in on that too? Gross I know but that thought just hit me. Besides at his age, he does not need to just barge in on anyone - that should have stopped by age 5 when you should have instilled who is the parent and who is the child.

Since he is 10 he probably is curious about the next step in life for him as he begins to change from child to young adult. Have you notice any physical changes in his body and body odor yet? Body odor is usually first change -- you can't stand to be around them!!! Then get a book about what's happening to me or something like that and do it correctly.

So now it is up to you to put the law down. When the door is closed it is closed period. It's time for him to have some play buddies to go outside and play with so that you and dad could have some free time.

I once got caught when daughter opened the unlocked door and left the room. When we were finished I explained to daughter that what happened was normal and that it was between two people that loved one another. Dad sat there quietly but was part of the discussion. Later in years she has said that she knew parents did things but didn't think that mom and dad did that.

Just make rules that the door is closed DO NOT enter at any costs unless the house is on fire. By then the fire alarm would be going off. The second thing would be to establish privacy for every one in the house (except boy/girl friends in rooms - door to remain open). Third thing would be quiet time regardless of the age.

Good luck and keep us informed. The other S.

just tell him than the same rules apply for bed time during the summer as when he's in school...ove he's in bed, he stay's in bed. whatever he needs to ask or tell you can wait till in the morning. you don't have to explain the birds and bees to him yet, but just tell him that when your door is shut, then he isn't to disturb you becasue that is your and daddy's alone time. that's all he needs to know. if he continues to disturb you then start initiating some consequences...1st a warning, then taking a privilidge away, and so and so forth.

thats a hard one because kids are full of questains but i'd sugest that you tell him after bedtime he can only get up to go to the restroom because mom and dad need there rest to so they can take care of all the things mom and dad have to do.i'm sure he should understand that dad goes to work mom cleans house and cares for the needs of her family.so rather than a big deal just tell him at bedtime you only get up to go to the restroom or emergencys fire or somthing like that.although kids are growing up faster than when we grew up I dont feel you have to bring sex into the conversation just set limits and be firm you are the parent our kids have a 9:30 bedtime and that includes my 20 year old but if they respect your privacy then you can say if your not tired you can read or somthing like that but you cant leave your room.
my 20 year old has been up till 3:30 am but she knows dont come in our room that simple.

Hey R.,
If you haven't had the "closed door" rule in place before now, it's time to lay down the law, and firmly. This may well be about jealousy, curiousity, determination to be a part of 'everything.' But the important lesson you have to offer this little boy right now is clear boundary setting. One of the biggest issues with adults today is the inability to know how or when to set boundaries. The reason for that is they were not taught as children!
You and your husband have a right to your privacy. Your son has a right to be taught by you that your privacy is to be respected. His privacy should be respected, too, within proper parent-child perimiters.
You and your husband need to sit both children down and tell them that when mommy and daddy's door is closed, that means private time. The only reason to knock - as another poster told you Dr. Phil said - is if one of them is on fire.
Also, when you tuck him in at night, put a small note pad and a pencil on his nightstand. Then, before you leave his room, tell him, "This is 'last call' for questions, and for telling me anything. After this, you are to stay in bed and be quiet; anything else you think of will wait until morning. If you're afraid you'll forget it, use this pad and pencil to write it down." And stick to it.

Good luck!

Hello R., I know this is late, but I wanted to respond. We don't tell children what goes on behind closed bathroom doors, simply that it is personal time and that interupting is not allowed. Teach your son to respect your bedroom door in the same way. Doors are in all houses for reasons, and at the age of 10 your son understands this concept. What goes on behind the closed doors is not the issue. Good luck.

I'm almost sure that he knows what 'sex' is and he probably DOES have an idea that 'it' is going on in there. It's really hard for kids to believe that 'their parents' would DO such things, though; and they kind of intuitively try to keep it FROM happening! LOL

We never even HAD our own room when our 4 kids were growing up (always at least one other kid in the same 'double' upstairs 'room' with us), but I think he's plenty old enough to be told that mom and dad require time alone and that if your door's closed, he may only disturb you if someone's not breathing, there's blood, broken bones, fire or flood, etc -- something that he'd call '911' about if he was home alone!

And I agree with another poster that you need to find out what he DOES know and make sure YOU --his parents--are his main source of information on such an important and delicate topic! Just ask him where he thinks babies come from or if you've already covered that topic, ask what he thinks the real guidelines are for 'safe sex' -- and make sure you teach him YOUR values about it -- honestly and openly.

Like the mom below me said, it's not about how to tell him about sex or if he already knows. It's about following boundaries and respecting privacy. Sex does not have to be mentioned at all!! He doesn't need to know the WHY about everything. You should just tell him that there are rules about privacy when a door is closed. Period.
And just for the record... I am a FIRM believer that 10 is much too young to learn about sex. If you are careful with what your child watches, there should still be a childlike innocence to things like this at the young age of 10.

At 10yrs he should know when you say it your alone time with dad and not to interrupt he should know what that means and not intrude.Sounds like he is jelouse of any time not spent with him.Tell him when its your alone time..dont come to you for anything..unless the house is burning.Keep it for later or write it down to ask you later.Tell him that sometimes parents need time away from the children just like he needs time away from you the parents.When the door is closed no he can not intrude for anything.If he does then that will take away from his time also...good luck..
S. B

haha i hear you on the sex radar. if my hunny or i touch each other dogs bark children cry or someones standing in our door looking at us. at 10 hes old enough to understand tha tyou need alone time. try to use the time that hes watching a movie or playing in the back yard. if all else fails say were busy lock the door and ignore him until your done. i know it may distract you from the moment but he will get the hint and you and hubby will always have the giggles of being frisky with a bit of adventure thrown in! good luck
also if he wont let up on the questions while your... well... give him some paper and pencil tell him to write down the questions for when you and dad are out of your room. this will help with his writing skills too!

At this age, I found it true that Mom and Dad got alone time after the children were put to bed or a quickie in the shower. It is always fun to try and out smart the children. I think that even at the age of 10 it is too early to try and explain sex talks with the child. I recommend when he is out to play so do you! Be patient this too shall pass. You just have to get creative and it puts a lot of fun back into the sexual experience. In a few years you will look back and laugh at this and know exactly how and when to have that talk with your child.
Good luck.

Can you do it after he goes to bed? While he is watching a movie? While he is outside playing? We do the "quickies" while they are outside playing or in the tub. We have nicer....when they are in bed. Once they are asleep b/c my 5 yr old son is the same way. He even comes into the bathroom while I am getting in or out of the shower...I dont' lock the door b/c if he needs me, it needs to be open. But, he just happens to walk in when I am stepping in or out! He is curious but it makes me mad!

You might be able to tell him that you need to talk to daddy alone but surely, at age 10, he will know. I would just not want my kids to even "think" I might be doing "that"...:O) I would wait till he is asleep. Let me know if anyone gives you an good advice!

W. M

I was just reading your responses and I have to write. My daughter is 8 almost nine. I wasn't even close to ready to tell her about SEX, but unfortunately a boy at school did. Now we didn't go into all the details, but we told her what we felt she needed to know. Luckily he probably didn't know that much, but enough that we felt we needed to talk more specifically with her.So I just want to say to all those mom's out there. Wouldn't you want to be the one to tell your child, rather than some other child at school.

We have taught our three children that when our door is closed, someone better be caughing up a lung or an appendage had better be falling off. Our oldest will be 16 in a couple of weeks, but he has known this since he was in about 3rd grade. If our door is closed, the kids only knock if it is really, really important. Their ages are 11,13, & 15. I guess it kind of goes to when their door is shut, we knock and give them the same courtesy. Not sure if I answered your question, but I would just maybe try explaining boundries to him and explain that when your door is shut, your room is off boundries unless there is an emergency and then explain to him what acceptable emergencies are! LOL

I would have them in bed early enough that they would be asleep. I had 3 children and they were in bed at 8:00. Then we went to bed after the news, by then they were sound asleep.
Hope you can have your time alone with hubby.
M.

SOunds like he should keep a journal at night by his bed to write out his thoughts (very theraputic)he probably will answer his own questions that way or at the least he could look up the answer in the morning or laugh at his own joke. We do do too much for our children and the more we do, the less they can do for themselves.
You can always tell them that when the door is closed mommy and daddy have to get up really early in the morning so they can't be disturbed.
Whether or not your kid knows anything about sex or thinks about it often, no kid could ever imagine their parents doing that so that though never enters their mind.

We have 10 & 5 yr old girls and when we want to have alone time before they are in bed we just let them know Daddy and I would like to visit with one another. Like many our days are long and we truly like to talk sometimes at the end of the day, uninterrupted. However, having sex while the kids are awake and having a 10,11, 12 or so child know what you are doing is like letting them watch rated R movies. Some women have mentioned having the sex talk with a 10 yr old and then they will know what is going on. I disagree because though we want our kids to see their parents in a loving, affectionate relationship I don't think we want them envisioning us having sex. I hope some refer to the Bible a bit on some advice on this topic. I think the sex should take place when they are in bed, outside for a while or away for the most part. Children are forced, usually by the parents, to grow up much quicker than they have to. Let them be kids and continue to teach them about respecting boundaries sure, but the sex talk at 10 is ridiculous and no it is certainly not taught in our district at this age. Good luck R. and I do hope you do find your alone time as it is very important!

I would tell him just this, "Mommy and Daddy want to be alone right now, I will come to your room in a little while" Can you send them for a sleep over at Grandmas!? If he asks why, just say its between Mommy and Daddy.

Hi R.!
You already got some great advice here. I was just going to say that if you haven't had the sex talk with your son, then it is probably time. I have heard that these days if you wait until they are 12 or 13, it is too long and they have already either done it or learned about it from someone else. Apparently around age 10 is the right time, of course, depending on the maturity of your child. Sounds like a good opportunity to have the sex talk and set some boundaries so you and your husband can have some alone time!! Best of luck!
Cyndi

Yesterday on Dr. Phil they sort of addressed this topic....Yes like the people before me he should know a little bit about sex. (my son is 10 and he knows a little something about sex but we have not exactly addressed the issue) But anyway...he should know that when mommy and daddy have the door closed that it is mom and dad's private time and that they should be left alone....and as Dr. Phil said don't knock on the door unless one of you is on fire.

Just tell him when that door is closed it is mom and dad time and he is not to come knocking on the door unless it is a true emergency (the house is on fire, he lost a leg, his brother is misssing, etc). And if you havent already you probably should start the talk. He probably already knows more than you think from friends. Best to set his curiosity with facts. Hope this helps!