When Does It Become Rude/innapropriate

Well if you have a boy, suck it up, because that bathroom humor seems to go on forever. Try as you might you will almost always laugh especially when it comes out of a teen. :p

So far as the presents go I would correct my children on the spot. It is understood that young children will sometimes be too blunt so their actions are not the issue, it is not correcting the child that is rude.

The potty talk is normal at that age, just teach him that it’s not always the right time to make jokes (at home I think is fine).

I have been teaching my daughter to just say thank you for any gift she receives. I have explained that it is nice for someone to get her a gift and to appreciate being thought of. This too I think is normal for the age because I remember my nephew making comments about one of his birthday gifts when he was young.

I think not saying thank you or acknowledging that someone even gave you something is way worse. My SS (he is 21) does this all the time to the point that my family will not give him any gifts for any occasion.

I think you are a good mommy with good instincts.
You are right that he should be learning when it is (and is not) appropriate to use bathroom humor, and what an appropriate response is when receiving a gift (liked or not).
Just remember that he is still LEARNING, and that as long as you see steady improvement--even if it is slow, that he is getting it. The fact that you are pointing out the proper way to behave/respond is great. Sure, sometimes you'll laugh because you can't help it. It's ok. As long as that isn't your "go to" response, then he will figure it out.
You'll be fine.
And so will he.

Potty talk is pretty normal behaviour. Kids need to be taught when it is and isn't appropriate. You can use it with friends and family, but not at the table. You can't use it with your teacher or the minister. Four and five years old is certainly not too young to teach these important social skills they will need for life. Ever see the seires if Captain Underpants books? Lots of potty humour. Boys like potty humour, and if you ask me, I would rather have a boy who reads potty hunour than a boy who isn't interested in reading (and many aren't)!

Four and five is also old enough to teach children good manners. Sometimes kids don't filter their words and do say exactly what they are thinking, but when they do it is a teaching opportunity. Simply teach the child just to say "Thank you", and keep all other comments to himself. They will learn. Some kids might need to be taught more than once. Sometimes a parent will wait until they are in private to have that talk, thinking they would rather not draw more attention to the child's rude comments, because it is embarrassing for the parent.

Potty talk is okay within reason in your own home. Make it clear that there are things that are NOT said outside/to others. There will be consequences (immediate from you, long term in that he won't have friends and will be in trouble at school). Limit the jokes - maybe he has to ask you if he can tell you a potty joke, is this an okay time, etc.

Rudeness about gifts is unacceptable at any time. The friend should be corrected by his parents at the moment, and the gift-giver thanked by the parents for the thoughtful gift. He should also, in my opinion, have all his gifts taken away until he can be grateful. It's normal to have to prompt a kid to say thank you, but rudeness needs to be nipped in the bud. Kids need to see birthdays (if thats what this was) as celebrations and not as gift gathering festivals. I always limited the number of kids at a party because I didn't want it to turn into a massive showering of presents which encourages greed and, frankly, is boring to watch.

It's never too young to start teaching manners!

I don't have a very good tolerance for potty humor, so pretty early on we had to institute a rule that you only talked about bathroom things IN THE BATHROOM, so no running around screaming "i'm going ot FART on your FACE" in our house, at least i try, the kids are pretty good, hubby i'm still working on, lol.

As for the gifts we practice before and gift getting occasion, What do you say if someone gives you and Ipod, THank you! what do you say if some gives you a dirty sock? thank you! what do you say if someone gives you a puppy? Thank you, What do you say if someone gives you ( a boy) a bottle of perfume? what if someone gives you ( a girl) a .... I am out of ideas, we usually play until I run out of gross stuff to offer them.

I always tell them, that after they say Thank you and we go home, if a gift is inapropriate for them that I will "take care of it' my generic term for exchanging, regifting, etc etc.

There was still one time my DD said Thank you through her tears of disappointment for somethign she was given that wasn't what she wanted, can't think of what it was. but i was proud of her for trying.

and this mama would NOT put up with asking for gifts and acting greedy.

When my son was about five, he was patiently waiting his turn to open a Christmas present and said, "I sure hope it's not clothes". He actually wasn't intending to be rude or disrespectful, but it was pretty cute. It was clothes and he did thank my mom.

I do think that at that age, they are old enough to know to say thank you. You expect it when someone gives him juice or whatever so same rules apply.

I teach my son to accept gifts graciously.
You smile, you say 'Thank you!", you write a Thank You note - no matter what.
It's how you'd like others to treat you when YOU give a gift.

As for potty humor - there's a time and place - they need to learn when and where.
Never in a restaurant or a neighborhood or family party.
My son went through that particular phase quickly and got bored with it.

What he really likes are puns.
When he gets on a roll it's pure pun-ishment but he's pretty funny with them.
Where do cows go on a Friday night? The Moo-vies!
Where do cows like to go on Saturday? An a-moos-ment park!
Where do cows go on Sunday afternoons? A moo-seum!
What are cows favorite shows on Broadway? Moo-sicals!

Give his humor a cleaner outlet and he'll forget about the potty humor.

Bad manners should not be laughed off at any age.

If an 18 month old walks out of a full diaper, I'll admit its funny, but you have and obligation to teach a child and not make that training difficult to understand.

If you don't want your son to use "bathroom "humor, then you need to correct him at the time EVERY time. The 5 year old should have been corrected on the spot. I'm sure the giver was really embarrassed too. His behavior is a real good way to never get a present again from these people.

I would have told my child, right in front of the giver of the gift, that his behavior was bad (wrong) and inconsiderate. He would have been sent to the corner, even if it was his party.

Not correcting this type of behavior will turn this kid into a monster in 10 more years.

Good luck to you and yours.

When you're about 90. Sorta kidding - my grandma has a mouth on her!
My daughter is 6 - at home, if she has potty humor, I can't help but laught (comes from me and my husband). When it becomes excessive/too much - I will let her know that it's not appropriate (while trying to keep a straight face).
In public, she definitely knows better (even if sometimes she is right).
As far as gifts, I teach my daughter what my parents taught me - always say thank you. Period.