Who Helps?

Whenever I was going through a period of depression or post-partum with my boys, my parents were always there to help me. If I was having a rough day they would drop everything and make the 30 minute drive to my house so I could go to the Doctors or leave the house and unwind for a while.

Go to your Doctor when you need to and stay on your medication. I've been told it can take a bit for it to work for some people.

Other things that helped were talking to a close friend, writing in a private blog, even listening to a favorite cd. Sit down and read a book to your kids or watch a movie with them, the rest of the things you need to do will wait for you. Exercise always helped the most. Walking around the block or on the treadmill was great. Exercise videos and yoga are always available. I even got a gym membership when we could afford it and I wasn't working full-time. I felt my best then. When you exercise it increases your seratonin levels which is what a large number of the anti-depresents stabalize. So if you are doing both it is doubly good.

Also... make sure you open your curtains/blinds. The more sunlight you get the better you will feel.

Hi N.,
I had PPD with both my children. The good thing is that you started meds but what stinks is that it takes some time to begin working. In the meantime, do you have family that could come help you? my husband worked so I would go walk around the mall, local library, or many times I went to a friends house to visit during the day. Then when my husband came home (not that he was much help) at least there was someone there to talk to and take my mind off the anxiety or my overwhelmed feelings I was having. I don't know what meds you are on, but ask your Dr. for one that will help with the depression plus one for anxiety. Hang in there, and know that this WILL pass and you will be HAPPY AGAIN VERY SOON.
oxoxox
T.

Hi there N.! I just started this mamasource thing, and this is the first response Ive done so youre special!! :) Anyhow, after reading what you wrote, I get the same way. Lastnight to be exact, my 8 month old screamed all night, and I didnt sleep at all the night before due to my 6 year old having bronchittus. So yeah, talk about overwhelmed! But after learning a few things working at a daycare that took pride in her EVERYTHING, I learned that walking away is the best thing. Place your son/daughter in their playpen, crib, room with lots of toys that interest them, and walk away. Make sure theyre in a safe place, that way when you do walk away, youre not stressing, wondering if theyre ok while youre taking a break. If you smoke, go have one, if you drink coffee, go have you a cup, but just take about 10-15 minutes to yourself. It helps tremendously, and its going to calm you down. Our kids often dont do what we want them to, which often leads to us pulling our hair out!!! They dont understand why we're overwhelmed, its their nature to do what theyre doing. I hope this helps. And as a mother on meds already, doing everything she can to get off them, I strongly suggest you get a second opinion on any meds. Doc's like to throw a med out for EVERYTHING, your toe hurts? here's some meds, your hair hurts?? here's another med, youre overwhelmed?? here's another med. Im about to get a major surgery to help get me away from any and all drugs. Im not saying dont take them, just research them before you start putting anything into your body. Being an army mommy, spouse, etc. Ive learned first experience that doc's like to misdiagnose!!!! So please, just research it, get a second opinion, and make sure its whats best for you, cause its going to result in how you feel on a daily basis, and how you treat your baby. I only speak from experience. I hope this helps. God bless you and yours, and good luck!!!

Many of us have been to the point of wondering if we could possibly "lose it and do something harmful" to ourselves or our children. It is a terrible feeling, and you think you must be a terrible mother. But the truth is, you are just doing too much and getting too exhausted. You need to back away, call a friend or relative to come over and help or even just keep you company, or call a hotline if you really think things are that bad. (I called a hotline once, talked a minute or two, and hung up. Then I was fine.) You are not crazy. You are a good mom who is needing some help and support, that's all.

Hey N.,
I don't think you are crazy at all and lots of woman go through PPD. My daughters father walked out on us 5 weeks before she was born and that first time I walked in the door of my house with my baby in tow and no one there to help me, I was completely overwhelmed!!! One day, my daughter would not stop crying and I thought I was going to lose it-I went to a bathroom on the other side of my house (she was secure in her swing) and closed the door and just cried and cried and took a break until I felt strong again. I knew I needed to get on an antidepresant medicine so I called my doctor and she got me something right away. Being a parent is EXTREMELY overwhelming at times and we all go through it-Just take a deep breath and walk away from the situation for as long as it takes to regain your composure!!! Good Luck!!!!

Try MOPS in Spring Hill at the Civic Center is were i think they meet. Go to local SHUM Church for mom's day out certain Fridays of the month. Find a mom who can help. There out there.

L

Call 911 immediately. Don't wait until something has happened. Tell them what's going on and you're stressed out and want to make sure you and your child are OK. As far as losing custody because you're "crazy," if you really do need help then you need to take care of that first--you have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of a child. My sister went through something similar, and we took care of her daughter until she finished treatment. It was 6 months, and as soon as her doctor released her, she got her daughter back. Try not to focus on that right now--honey if you need help you need to get it quickly. There are some things that can never be taken back. Don't let it get that far. I urge you to call now for help. You can also contact churches in your area--any of them would be happy to help you as best they can, but if there is an immediate danger to you or your child they will also advise you to call 911. Don't be afraid of losing your child for a little while as you get the help you need--you can always get them back. If it goes too far, you won't have any options. Best of luck to you, and if you want to talk one on one you can send me a message directly, I'd be glad to listen.

K.

I suffer from depression due to my medical condition and am taking medication. Initially what helped me before the meds finally kicked in was EAP. They are available 24/7. If you or your significant other are employed you should have their phone number in the employee benefits packet. EAP has been a life saver for me and my family. A counselor (licensed clinial social worker) spoke with me and was able to get me referred to a licsw in my area.

You will not lose custody because of how you feel right now.

Good Luck and know you are not alone.

you will absolutely not lose custody for asking for help. one might lose custody if they DON'T ask for help and things get TOO overwhelming. you are already taking the right first steps asking for help here. call 800-422-4453 and ask for resources in your area. if it makes you feel better, call from a payphone and don't give information.