Would You Have Done the Same Thing?

The right thing for her to do would have been to ask you to hold her place in line while she ran to get a drink. For her just to leave and not say anything is rude. I also would have gone ahead.

If she didn't specifically say " Hey, I'm going to go get a drink, would you mind keeping my place til I get back?" I would have gone around too. Who knows what she was doing or when or if she was going to come back. She should have said something to you instead of assuming that she could just go and do what she wants and expect to be in front of you~ You were very nice to her and sounds like she was pretty rude.

I would not have gone around. I would have moved her cart up for her and if she was not back in time to load up her items, then, I would have moved the cart. Yeah i think what you did was irritating and on the rude side. Considering you did move it, I think you did okay to offer her place back, but since you are asking, no I would have given her the benefit of the doubt and helped her out by moving her cart up, until she was a no show.

That's an eye-roller, huh? She was cheating, in a way, assuming her cart could hold her place without a word to anyone else (common courtesy) and she wouldn't have to wait with the rest of the others... I understand that "oh, crud, I forgot the butter!" sprint, but not what you describe.

She must be VERY important!

That said, I likely would have pushed her cart forward until I was up to the register-- and then, if she hadn't arrived, I would have gone around ahead of her.

I don't think there's a right answer to your question, I suppose. It's all in the perspective. I try not to let people like this get me down, but I don't think you did anything wrong. She was embarrassed because she got 'caught' and I expect she thought herself in the right-- when she obviously wasn't in this particular situation. But consider the moment next time. Is it worth it?

C.:

DO NOT let her make you feel bad for it. You did what any normal person would have done!

I would have done just what you did...gone around her cart. Sorry but leaving your cart in the check out line does NOT save your place. PERIOD.

Seriously - what did she expect you to do? Unload her cart for her when you had NO idea where she went?

No, I would have NOT left my cart to go get a drink from the food court. That's something you do on your way out or on your way in.

No, I wouldn't have left the line to go get a drink or a product that wasn't directly in my line of sight. She has a lot of nerve. She actually knows it, which is why she told you to go ahead. Of course, because she was pissed at you for calling her out on her behavior, she was a butt about you going ahead.

Dawn

I'm with Jo W., Amanda W., and OneAndDone--maybe the person was rude to begin with to assume she could just go get her drink and come back without communicating to anyone, BUT you caused uneccesary drama for a not very good reason. Like the others said, you could have just pushed her cart up until it came time for her to unload, then if she wasn't back, by all means, put her behind you. There may be a day when you would appreciate a little kindness from someone else, and let's face it, that would have been a very small and effortless gesture. I am not sure if this was your line of thinking or not, but sometimes people think they are the "enforcer" of "rules" when it comes to things like lines, and they make it their business to teach others a lesson.

i would have handled it EXACTLY as you did. maybe not quite so kindly.
all she had to do would have been to smile at you and say 'i'm just going to hop over to the food court and get a drink. would you mind pushing my cart forward if i'm not back when the line moves?'
i myself would not leave my own cart under these circumstances. the drink could wait.
she's a twit.
khairete
S.

No, I would have moved her cart up for her. If at the point where you had to load the belt she wasn't back then and only then would I have gone ahead of her.

That you had that whole conversation before you got to the point where you had to unload your cart says you pretty much took the opportunity to get in front of her.

I hate when people walk away from their carts but I hate people that use that as an excuse to get in front of them even more. You didn't speed up the line, you caused a mess of drama that everyone who stayed where they should had to deal with.
________________
Denise, four people in line in front of her, started to move which meant three, two in front of soda lady. She had no reason to get in front of her except possibly to start a who is more rude contest with all the poor people in line as judges. :(

There's no way you could have pulled her cart back out of line to move your cart ahead if you'd have pushed it forward instead of going around and then her time to check out came up before she got back, there's not enough room. Honestly I would have moved her cart out of the way totally and just gone ahead. You had no idea where she went or if she was coming back unless she left her purse. She was completely in the wrong.

If it was her turn to actually load her stuff onto the belt and she wasn't back, I would go around her and start loading my own stuff. However, if there were still more people ahead of her, I would just push her cart forward and hold her spot.

She was rude to walk off without saying anything to anyone about where she was going and certainly shouldn't have expected you to know where she went or when she'd be back.

Think of it this way: If you were in line to buy tickets for something and she left, then the line started moving, you would continue to walk forward towards the ticket counter. If she got back before you made it to the front, you'd let her have her spot back and she could buy her ticket before you. If she didn't get back by the time you reached the window, you buy your ticket and she's out of luck. It's the same thing, just with a shopping cart to maneuver.

I would have pushed her cart forward in the line and let her keep her spot. If it came time for her turn and she wasn't there, I would have just pushed it to the end of the aisle and let the clerk know that the owner of the cart wasn't back yet.

That being said, she really should have just said something to you like, "Would you mind saving my spot--I really need to get a drink from the food court."

I believe once you get in line, you are ready to check out. Your not leaving, no one is finishing your sh opping trip and bringing things to uou. A beverage can wait those few minutes. I never want to guess a persons motives when they abandon their shopping cart other than my time is valuable as well as theirs and i won't put anyone in a position to guess. I will get back out of line or go through again if i forgot something.

Yep, I absolutely would have done the same thing as you. How do you know that she didn't just change her mind about everything or had a family emergency etc... and decided to just leave? She was incredibly rude. She should have either got out of line to get her drink. Knowing that there was a line of people waiting to check out, it was very "entitled" of her to expect that everyone should wait for her to get back with a drink.

Nope, I'm with Jo on this one - only IF she wasn't back by her turn would I have stepped in front of her. It WAS terribly rude of her, but that fact wouldn't change MY behavior.

If I was up NEXT and the cashier was ready and waiting, I might have gone ahead.
You don't say whether you were the next customer or not.
If there was still O., two customers ahead of me, I would not have jumped the line until I was next and the cashier was ready. I would have waited or pushed her buggy up a bit.
So, since that's not clear from your post, can't say whether that's doing the "same thing" or not.

ETA: was the cashier waiting for a customer???

ETA: yes, I may have gone & grabbed a beverage if there were 3 large orders in front of me. I probably would have said something to the person behind me like "be right back, I'm dying for something to drink!"

Jo W. -- Right. I read that. Poster doesn't say HOW long the woman was gone. My question was/is: was the cashier at a halt because she was gone or was the line just moving forward. The only way I would jump in front of ANYONE is if their absence was causing a stop in the checkout process.
I live in a friendly town, this would not be uncommon. We also let people merge over on the highways. :)

Everyone is so nice here. If it were me there's no way I would kindly have moved her cart. I would have left it where it was left and went around. I'm sorry but I don't have the patience to wait for other people who have not asked for their place to be held in line. If/when I ever need to walk away from my cart I assume if I leave it it will be moved. I don't care why someone walks away if they did not have the courtesy to ask if I could move their cart up yet have the audacity to become angry if I moved around them, oh well.

I realize I'm wrong in many people's eyes but truthfully I don't expect others to cater to me in this way I don't see why others should expect it themselves. You didn't do anything wrong as far as I'm concerned.

I would have moved her cart forward. Now if the cashier was ready and she was gone, then of course I would have let her ring me up after looking around the area on my tip toes and announcing someone left their cart to the cashier. Sounds like there were still 2 people to ring up. I would have asked her if she wanted me to save her spot before she left. I really do not like line cutters and I would not want to be one. She knew you were in line behind her and assume you would respect her space. If she was last and left her cart the circumstances would have been different. This should have been a Seinfeld episode.

He behavior is what I would expect from a Walmart shopper not Target. Who the heck can not wait for a diabetic sugary soda until they make their purchase?

edit:
There are impulse items while you wait. Ice cold sugary drinks are in the mini fridges in line at Target she could have opened while waiting and purchased when being rung up. I'm sure she would have thrown out the low blood sugar card if that was the situation. I was being sarcastic.

I would have moved her cart up and stayed in line behind her. Why not help her out?

I'd never wander off if I were in line. You did the most reasonable thing. This lady is apparently used to having her own way, even at the expense of others. There's nothing reasonable about her expectations.

I recently went shopping with my husband and we realized after we were in line that we forgot an item. He ran off to find it, but took a long time getting back. OF COURSE I let other shoppers pass me while I waited.

I most certainly would have gone around the cart. Give it a moment at most to see if they're right there and if not, move on.
I can't believe the women would wander off like that. The most I have done is step one or 2 steps to grab something near the checkout line.
She's got issues, not you.

She was in the wrong, you don't get to hold your place in line when you don't know what the lines will be like at the food court or how long you will be gone. It would have been different if she had just jumped over one isle to grab a drink from the cooler, but all the way to the food court? You did right to not wait. She could have waited in line just like everyone else and then went to the food court for her drink.

I probably wouldn't have done the same thing, but I also don't think you did anything wrong.

There were plenty of people still in front of her, I would have pushed the cart forward. Many times I have had to run back and grab something and it's a lot easier and quicker to do if you aren't having to push your cart around, I've even done bathroom runs (when pregnant) so long as I knew I wasn't going to be holding people up.

There are a ton of "what ifs" but if I ever need to leave a line and plan to come back, I say something to someone. "Mind if I run over there really quick?" That she just left and didn't come back for a while is abandoning her place in line, IMO. You shouldn't just leave your cart there and run off without saying something. I think you were fine. You also offered to let her back in and she said no. I see no reason to push someone's full cart along if they run off.

I usually push the person's cart forward in front of me. That way if they come back in time they don't lose their place.
Now if the line was stopped and the cashier was waiting and the person still hadn't come back, then yes I would step forward with my purchase, because I wouldn't want to hold up the line.

Ditto Jo. If she wasn't back by the time it was your (or my) turn, then would be the time to say to the cashier, "She left and hasn't come back," at which point it would be entirely appropriate to go around her cart and load your items for checkout.

I don't know why she left the line to go to the food court and get a drink, maybe she was having a hypoglycemic episode. I've had them to the point a cashier ripped open a package of hard candies from the checkout shelves and handed them to me, or asked a bagger to run and get me an orange juice, so I wouldn't pass out. In both cases the checkers refused my money for the items and paid for them themselves, they understood my problem.

I have also been in line and gone myself to get an orange juice when I felt it happening, the times I'm not buying something I can open and drink or eat on the spot. I don't have diabetes but do get hypoglycemic from time to time, I can't predict when it will happen. I honestly am not thinking clearly at the time to realize I may be inconveniencing anyone, my only concern is to stay concious, and truthfully I would rather get dirty looks than pass out on the floor.

And maybe she's just rude? I don't know.

Personally I would have removed it from the line all together.

You did the reasonable thing... and the nice thing, since it isn't like you pulled her cart out of line.

If it was okay to just park your cart and go to the food court for a drink, we'd all just pick a line, put our cart there and then grab the last few things on our list, or check out the dollar bins, or whatever else seemed like a better time than actually waiting in line!

I hope her behavior didn't make you doubt your own good intentions. I'm sorry she made you feel bad about it (clearly her intention), you did nothing wrong. She was the only person acting inconsiderately.

HTH
T.

I would have pushed her cart up in the line as it moved. Then, if she wasn't back by the time it was her turn, I'd have gone around.

It's not really your job to babysit her cart and you had no way of knowing when she would be back, but I wouldn't have gone around her unless her cart was ready for checkout and she still wasn't back.

Lord knows there have been plenty of times I was in super long lines and decided to dash and pick something else up. I tell the other people in line that I'm dashing to get a jar of mayonnaise and I'll be right back. I've never been gone so long that the line had advanced much. I've only done it when I was behind several people with very large orders.
I have, however, seen people leave their carts and not make it back by the time they should be checking out. If they do that, they can't really be mad if the person behind goes because the whole line shouldn't be entirely stalled just for one person.

Just my opinion.

I wouldn't have only gone around, I would have pushed her cart out of the line!! Then I would have just ignored her when she came back.

I'm usually extremely nice to people but I'm at the age now that I'm sick of getting taken advantage of and I'm sick of rude people in this world thinking they should get special privileges for whatever reason.

AND don't even get me started on the rude people that park right in front of the stores, let someone out and then proceed to stay parked right there blocking the walkway because they think they're special!!! Especially when they're parked right UNDER the "no parking" sign!! They know the store employees can't do a darn thing about it so they don't care how rude they are! And I'm not talking about anyone in a wheelchair, crutches, etc.!!!!

You did the right thing in standing your ground! Good for you!!!

I would have and in fact have in the past just pushed the cart forward. She is in line because her cart is in line. If you want to stay with your cart, OK. It'a also OK to run and get a drink or check out a display. I know of no rule that says you have to stay with your cart. If you're not with your cart when it reaches the checker then you lose your place in line.

I would not have considered her rude because she left. I purposely try not to assign motives to other people's actions. It's none of my business why she left. Why would going to get something that was forgotten acceptable but not going to get something to drink not acceptable ?

Sounds like she was rude when she came back. However, I would have smiled said, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming back. Here get back in line" before she would have a chance to say anything to me. No drama for me. I suppose that is one reason I would've just pushed the cart forward. By going around her I would be making a judgment about her leaving the cart unattended. Instead I would assume she'd be back in time. To me that's the most logical way to think. Who would leave their cart and not come back?

I have seen people leave their cart and not come back but they've always pushed the cart out of line, first. And if she didn't come back, you could push the cart out of line when it became her turn.

Even while I'm typing this I'm wondering why all of us are spending time and energy on such a trivial event.

I probably would have done the same thing unless it was maybe 30 seconds she was gone. I have left my cart at the grocery store and sprinted for something I forgot. It was not to get a drink at the food court. :P That was pretty rude of her.

What were you supposed to do? Move the cart forward for her and unload it?

i am very gunshy when it comes to public confrontation, i probably would have erred on the side of waiting TOO long. but i don't think you were wrong. i think the lady was very wrong. you just don't do something like that. and then act like YOU did something wrong...how rude of her.

I would've done the same thing you did.. I could understand if she went to get something that was within view of the line but she basically disappeared. I've left my cart in line a handful of times but I always turn to the person that's behind me in line and say "I forgot to grab X ill be right back if the line gets up to the register go in front of me ".. the only time I will just walk away without saying anything is if I'm going like 2 feet away (or within sight) of the register.

I would've pushed her cart up to keep the line orderly, but I wouldn't have cut in line. Not until it was her turn, and she still hadn't returned. It does seem like her response was incredibly rude...sorry!! ;) She probably should have just let it go!

No, I would have moved her cart up UNLESS she was next to go and then I would have gone before her.

I don't think you did anything wrong though, because you offered to give her the same spot back and she made a big deal about it.

Maybe next time just move the cart up if that happens...it would save you some heartache.

I would have pushed her cart forward. However, if it was her turn at the cashier, I would have gone to prevent the whole line from just sitting their. If I need to leave the line for a second (not to go to the food court), I ask the person behind or ahead of me to hold my place.

What's her problem? Why didn't she just ask you to save her place in line? It doesn't exactly excuse leaving the line (people do this all the time to me in the grocery store, drives me crazy), but at least it would have saved a lot of misunderstanding. If something like this ever happens to you again, just say "Why didn't you ask me to save your spot? I would have been happy to do it." This one is totally on her.

I would have done what you did. I can understand if someone needs to step out of line for a moment, to get a forgotten item, run to the washroom, even to get a drink, but it was rude of her not to tell the person behind her that she would be back.

No, I would have moved her cart up a bit and if she didn't come back in time I'd push it to the side then put my stuff on the belt to be checked out. She should have taken her cart with her or said something to you since you were behind her.

She may have been about to pass out from low blood sugar or something too. It could have been necessary for her to get that drink in a hurry. Sometimes I get really dry mouth and feel like I'm going to choke up so I need to get a drink in a hurry so I'd have felt some compassion for her. I would have gone ahead had she not been there when her turn came up though.

Unless she was next to the register, I would have just moved her up. But what she did was rude - I don't blame you.

Don't mean to beat a dead horse, but wanted to add my two cents....

Treat people the way you want to be treated. This woman did not consider you or anyone behind her went she left the line to go and get a drink. She didn't politely let you know that she would be back and ask if you could please help her out. Which I'm certain you would have done. Instead, she blatantly ignored those behind her and rudely expected everyone to treat her with extra thoughtfulness. Uh, hello? Give a little, get a little.

Yes, it would have been extremely thoughtful of you to push her cart for her, but she set the tone, not you. You were merely reacting to her inconsideration. Forget her, her behavior is obnoxious.

Meh. I don't think you did anything "wrong". If I was leaving for one quick item and was hoping nobody would get in front of me (I've done that for bread or toothpaste only a couple times in my life), I would say to the person behind me, "Oh I need to get __, I'll be right back" and then move quickly. If it became my turn, I'd have no problem with that person moving up in line---my fault for not being there. Communication is important and I think too many of us have forgotten that small courtesy that can make big differences.
On the other hand, if I was behind someone that left without communicating anything to me, I'd wait as long as I could, but obviously if you can start putting your items on the belt then only ONE person was in front before you could go, yeah, I'd move ahead just like you did. With no communication, I would be wondering "Did she go get bread? Did she realize at the register that she forgot her wallet and just left the cart here rather than putting things up?" I'd move up and not expect an issue.
By the way, don't most stores have coolers with drinks there for people in line that realize they're thirsty? It was a dumb mistake on her part.

The woman in front of you should have said something to you about stepping away. That way there would not have been a problem except that she was not back when it was her turn to put the items on the belt and you went ahead.

I have forgotten items and just took the whole basket out of the line with me and got in line again so that I didn't cause this type of scene. Yes, it made me wait a bit longer but it is my responsibility to take of the items I have put in the basket not anyone else's.

She was angry that you went ahead but she did not express her needs and just "hoped" all would be well.

The old saying you move you lose.

the other S.

PS If she felt that bad she could have pushed her cart to the food court got something and the got in line. All would have been well.

I would have done what you did.
I would not leave my basket in line and go to the food court for a drink. i would take my basket with me. If I had to run just a few feet to grab something and I mean within view, I would leave and come back but would let the person behind me know that and i would tell them to go ahead if I wasn't back.

No-but I think what you did was acceptable-when she got back she should have apologized and let you go ahead without feeling like a criminal

Another person who thinks the world should wait on them...sigh. Good for you for not letting her get away with it!

Hi, Candace:

Personally, I would have moved her cart forward.

Unless she was next to get checked out, then I would have
gone up to the register.

Mistakes are made all the time.
You cleaned your part up by asking her if she
wanted you to move back where you were.

The lady's frustration must have come from something
else she was dealing with, not you.

I wonder if you weren't more embarrassed by the woman raising her
voice to you.

Try not to fret about it.
All the Best.
D.

I would have waited but had I been the disappearing shopper I wouldn't have become upset had you skipped in front during my absence.

I would have pushed her cart up as the line moved forward and if she wasn't back when it was her turn, then I would have moved her cart to the side. I have been in line numerous times and remembered that I forgot one quick item. I have never left my cart in the line, but sometimes I do without the item because I don't want to have to start again at the back of the line.