My daughter has recently been very attached to me, and is always afraid I will leave and go to work or not come home. My husband works from home these days, so he's been helping out. I took off about a month vacation to go away with them and also to spend time at home. She has been consistently attached to me and is afraid to go to bed b/c she is worried I will leave. I know that this could be a phase, but is there anything I can do to help smooth this out? I also had the problem of spending too much of my post-work hours playing with her, which is good, but bad b/c now she doesn't play by herself or let me check email/read/etc. when I am home with her. I keep talking to her about it and enforcing it, so we have seen some progress, but it is slow. She is very verbal, so I have been able to talk to her about it several times with some success, but the problem still returns. She also doesn't want to be with anyone else but me. Ideas? Thanks!
Thanks Mamas! Things are actually better as of today, so it is definitely a phase. I forgot that it takes a while for her to learn the routines of Mommy being home! Dad's relationship is back too. It's funny. Sometimes I ask questions on this site that I know the answers to. It helps to get reassurance though! Much appreciated!
It is a phase. She is attached now because she is building security and trust with you. Embrace that. When you satisfy that need, eventually she will feel secured and "safe" enough to venture on her own because she has now learned that IF you DO leave, you will come back - or she can come back and find you!
It is her age.
Children, at various age junctures, get attached to their Mom.
It is NORMAL.
Kids, at different age junctures, also manifest and express this, differently, per their respective age.
its okay.
talk to her.
Carry on with your regular routines.... and don't cater to it ALL the time. But talk with her... and encourage her to do things apart, but in the same room with you.
Tell her everyone has a routine.
Get the book "The Kissing Hand." It is about going to Preschool... but you can use the book for explaining any kind of separation, from you.
Its a real cute book to read with the child.
Next: does your Husband, make time for her too???? What does he do with her during the day???
Maybe, she gets bored? Or is not, attended to, like a Mom would???
Have your Husband ALSO do her routines, with her.....
A Dad and Daughter... also bond too. It is very important.
But different than with a Mommy.
I have a daughter... and she is bonded with my Husband, too. But in different ways, than with me.
My Husband, nurtures her. Tries to understand her as a girl. Which is what Husbands need to do.
Some Husbands, don't know what to do with a 'girl' child.
Explain to your daughter, that you go, then come back.
And give her something of yours, as a Lovey.
My kids, even at their ages, LOVED my t-shirts that I wear all the time. They like Mommy's 'smell'...and they say I am so cozy... and having my t-shirt feels comforting to them etc.
Your daughter sees you the least and most children prefer their Mothers anyways... so her missing you so much is completely normal and logical.
try putting her in a socializing environment once a week for an hour or two to start, that way she meets new people and she has something to look forward too, when she comes back encourage her to share her experience with you.
