3 1/2 Year Old and Seperation Issues

Hi I also have a daughter and she will be 3 May 29 and my husband works full time and I was laid off but am looking for employment. She doesn't have the separation issues in the morning when I take her to daycare, but when my husband runs to my in-laws or to the store or even just out to the car she displays the same behavior and takes it out on me all the time. We color, watch her favorite shows, play tickle war, or she even helps with the wash...pretty funny but she enjoys helping loading the dryer since she can reach it. Another activity she is starting to get into is trying to style my hair and then I do hers so there are just a few examples. When she asks when daddy will be back I always tell her that he will be back soon and as soon as he comes back he will be in to kiss you goodnight if you are in bed. That seems to comfort her and so far so good with the other activities.
Hope this helps!
M. M.

My son loves to receive notes from his dad. Maybe dad could leave her a note when he's leaving and then she could "find" it. Worth a try.

take her out and do something special with her-like go to mcdonalds when your husband has a meeting. some of the mcdonalds have a play area in them, and she could play in there with you or some of the other kids. take her to petsmart and look at the animals together. when the weather is nicer take her to the park. if you distract her from what she is upset about then she probably will not have such tantrums.

Dear C.,
I can certainly empathize with your situation. My hubby drives tractor-trailer so my kids usually only seem him for an hour or two in the evenings, except on weekends. However, thankfully, I can't relate to the child "taking it out on" you. One of the things that has worked with my son, in terms of acting out in ways that are harmful is to ask him "would you like it if I ____ to you?" Please don't misunderstand, I am NOT advocating hitting back. However, at 3 1/2 your daughter is probably old enough to understand good/bad and right/wrong enough to know that bad/wrong can sometimes be hurtful. Another thing that I've done is to tell my son that when he does something hurtful it doesn't just hurt my body, but it also hurts my feelings, "just like when somebody says something mean or does something I don't like." I also try to find out why he's done something (if he knows). Sometimes he doesn't know, and other times he's upset about something and doesn't seem to know/understand how to express himself properly. Helping your daughter develop an "emotional vocabulary" will be VERY helpful. With my son, he's learned the differnce between sad, mad, glad, etc. Once we helped him learn to identify and verbalize his feelings, SOME of the acting out was curbed. (I said SOME, not all b/c we all know that kids aren't perfect.) :) Hope this is helpful. I'll be praying for all three of you.