Attitude, Behavior and Charactor. This makes sense for children to learn. This is something that both my husband and I agree on. However getting children to jump on board is a every day process. I totally understand that! In an early post my daughter had issues at preschool. Well my 6 yr old is home sick and we have someone coming to the house to keep both kids. (very grateful) and I happen to call to ask them to turn on the dishwasher (as I loaded before shower-and wanted a hot shower) I forgot to before I left. I heard babysitter ask my daughter to get off counter. My daughter was very rude and sported a attitude like don't talk to me. Grunting like she was frustrated this person told her to get off counter. I immediately asked to speak to my 4 yr old daughter and she grunted to me. I asked what her problem was. She replied she was hungry. I shared with her that she could have some toast and jelly but that so-and-so would make it for her. She was fine with that. My daughter was very demanding and right out rude and difiant. Help me to understand what would work to hel p my duaghter understand that her attitude causes her to Behave badly, in turn people don't like her character. BASICALLY I would like her to just behave when I am away and she is WITH OTHERS! Babysitters, preschool teachers. HELP.
I don't think the "ABC" concept is something a four-year-old can cognitively understand. She really only understands what Mommy will tolerate and what Mommy will not tolerate. Enforce that, and make sure her babysitters do the same!
Model the behavior you want.
Eh...she is 4 just give it more time. The question would be how is your 6 year old acting when you're not around.
Right now she acts like she is the center of the universe. You backed up that feeling when her rude behavior was rewarded (!!!) with what she wanted.
If you want her to be polite and kind and considerate, you have to teach that and punish bad behavior. Punish? Try words, then time outs, then spankings. It will be very much easier to correct now than when she is a teenager. You can research the questions from mom's on this site that didn't love their kids enough to correct bad behavior when they were kids and are having to live with the monsters they raised as teenagers.
If you don't correct this bad behavior, I can just imagine what kind of beast she will be in ten more years.
BTW, the first correction should be words. The second correction should be time out. The third correction should be a swat. The fourth correction should be two swats, then go back to talking, then timeout, etc.
Good luck to you and yours.
In our house unless you ask for something by saying "may I or would you please"...you don't get anything. Visitors know this as well.
My four year knows this. He has trouble with the wording...but if I know he's trying to be polite and follow the rules I give him the correct wording and he repeats.
"Mom, may I have some juice?"...mom would you please help me with my room...
Anyone who knows us, knows that until you're asked nicely you do not give in.
I am not as "hard" on them as my husband is regarding the above. If I can understand they are trying I will do what I can.
The person you left in charge allows them to act this way. If you were there, would she have acted in this manor? Probably not. But the person in charge has set their own tone.
