Boy Crazy Girls

I don't think it's that the girls are jealous. They are just at the age that they have curiousities towards the opposite sex. If she wants to get her nails done or highlighted that's up to you to decide but I work with girls who are 11, 12, and 13 and have had sex and are pregnant. If there is a curiousity then sit with her and discuss these things. Take her to get a manicure but not the fake nails and the highlights...they sell gel that isn't permanent that can be washed out and lip gloss is a make up but not too flashy. These are just suggestions. Good Luck~!

My daughter is in 3rd grade (she's almost 9) and has informed us that she has a boyfriend. I have to tell you, this wasn't one of the happiest day's of our life but we are trying to deal with it. I do allow my daughter to wear "girls" nail polish (you know the pearly pinks, blues, white) but she can only apply it on weekends. I am trying to give and take with her. I know she is growing up and I feel that if I am the type of mom that say's NO to everything that she wants that it will only lead to rebellion. That I don't want. We set some ground rules (like no kissing, holding hands is o.k. but only at lunch, if this boyfriend gets in the way of school it's over). I am trying to encourage her to talk to me about how she feels and what it is that she wants. I try to advise her in what is right and what is wrong but ultimatly the decisions will be hers. Talk to your daughter. From what I read, she sounds very bright and it seems as if you have a great relationship with her. Find out what is really important to her, please remember that if wearing makeup is the biggest issue she is dealing with right now, You are very lucky. Maybe help her see how beautiful she looks... or even giving in a little .. let her "play with makeup" so that it's not such a big deal .. let her dress up day with her friends when they come over .. but no makeup when you go out. Let her see that you trust her and that you want her to do the things she wants to do but within limits. Good luck!

Wow,
There is alot going on with little girls. I remember being a sixth grader and feeling the social pressures.

I read that the problems jumped from make up to boys.

First, try to be very kind when discussing these girls with your daughter. Use friendly words to describe them. They are important to your daughter and you see the issue with their behaviors not the girls themselves.

All moms are at some point accused of not being understanding, I used to call my mom old fashioned. She wouldnt let me dye my hair. Well now Im an adult and have naturally beautiful hair.

Anyhow, these girls are treading new waters. They are noticing boys, attempting to get their attention(but boys that age are not there yet and it is frustrating or confusing).

Confidence is the tool to establishing her self. With self confidence she can ask the girls to leave her alone about the makeup and hair color. Helping her find her confidence is important and if these girls are hurting her self image unrelentingly, then maybe she can find new friends in any of her many interests.

Living in a small community offers more challenges, but it is still possible to find other mothers who believe as you do. Be careful to stay open eared and open minded with your daughter and her choice of friends. Without any wiggle room she may just become disobedient.

Yeah, I agree with the first mom. I dont think those girls are jealous either. Nor do I think using an excuse of envy to assuade your daughter's bad feelings is a positive thing to do. Telling your daughter to have confidence in herself and her choices would be more effective.
When I was 11, girls made fun of me because I didn't have a purse (apparently it meant I hadn't started my period - which I hadn't). They also made fun of me because I hadn't started shaving my legs yet. Though you don't think your daughter should be made to feel badly because of your attitudes, she will be. It is the nature of adolesence.
It seems that today, the stresses of someone that age are so magnified. I do not envy you, as I will be there soon enough.
I plan to assist my daughter, in ways I find appropriate, in feeling more comfortable with people around her.
There is no way to please everyone (meaning everyone your daughter hangs out with). Raising your daugher in the way you see fit, is your acheivement and something she will appreciate much later...maybe when she is in labor with a baby girl. :)

Hi L. I'm H.. I am only 25yrs. with a 5 year old daughter. But I can tell you that I was the same way at 11, 12, and 13 just got worse for my mom. It just took some friends my freshman year to tell me that I was so lucky because I had a pretty complextion and cute hair. After that things got better for me and I was so thankful my mom did not let me ruin my hair by highlighting it. My advice to you is to stand your ground. Its gonna be tuff and chances are after a while the subject just might go away and maybe not but she won't push the issue. She will thank you when her teenager years get here. Keep letting her know randomly that her hair is cute. About the nails. Tell her to grow her own they last longer. I don't know if this will work but it worked for my mom.

Sincerely,

H. C

We are going through with my cousin daughter. We found several myspaces where she was talking to older boys and have very bad content. At first we let her have one myspace but than she abused it and we ended up taking away computer time. I say we because my cousin and I are usally together and I'm a little more informed about computer stuff. I applaud you for homschooling, I don't think I have the patience to homeschool or the disciple. I would just keep the lines of communication open with you or your husband or another adult. My lil cousin will talk to her mother's boyfriend but she wouldn't talk to us. Also about the make-up and hair, try to remember when you where a young girl. I was never like that and still don't wear make-up only when I go out. Also talk to your daughter about the responsible of having a relationship with a boy. The emotions she will feel. I told my cousin to really use her own experiences in life to teach our children. Remind her that she will be a young girl only once in her life and if she is not responsible for herself now she will have to grown up a lot soon. If she doesn't listen to you try calling around and see if you can visit a school for girls that have gotten themselves pregnant. I too able amazed that girls have got into this so much younger than we did.

Hope I have offer some good advice.
Good luck and keep your head up high.
L.