Church Questions

Oh my, that last post is making my heart race! I can't believe that any christian would say that their denomination is the only true religion! All Christians (Lutheran, Catholic, Evengelical, Presbyterian, ect) believe that Jesus is the way to heaven, hence the "Christ"ian.
With all respects to Catholics, I think you should stay away from a Catholic church if you are just starting out. They have more traditions that can be confusing to someone who doesn't understand them. I suggest you look into some of the churches around your area, since every church has a different set of norms. The church where I grew up was a Evengelical Free church in Maplewood. Some people would wear dresses but it was perfectly acceptable to wear more casual clothes, I don't think I've ever worn a dress to church, aside from Easter maybe. I think you should sing if you feel comfortable doing so. Just read along, sing in your head, but most importantly, don't worry about what other people are thinking. Most people mind their own business, and the people who like to critisize are going to do so no matter what. At that church (I think like many others) we would get a program as we entered the sanctuary. This would tell us what comes next, page numbers of the hymns, sometimes the songs were right there on the program. Again, offer money if you are comfortable. Many people begin to offer this once they can call a church home. While you are looking for a good fit don't worry about the money. I think all churches do communion, my old church would do it once a month and the crackers and juice were passed around like an offering tray, so you didn't have to get up to get it.
The church I go to now is called Solomon's Porch. It is a non denominational church in Minneapolis and is very different from any traditional church I've been to but I love it. It meets Sunday evenings, there are no Hymns (great music, but all original) and you won't find that it is "preachy" at all. There's a website if you are interested. www.solomonsporch.com
Good luck with your search!
L.

It is soo wonderful that you want to go to church again. There are many different styles of churches out there so just go and visit a few to find one you like...you could also look them up online and many of them have great websites that tell you all about them. I attend Eagle Brook Church ( www.eaglebrookchurch.com ) and it is a very casual environment and our "Teaching Pastors" are very personable and really teach lessons that are applicable to every day life. During the worship time the words are projected on the screens by the stage...and during the teaching all Bible verses and notes are projected as well. I often do not even bring my bible because it is all provided on the notes page in the bulletin. Most people at our church wear jeans, whatever is comfortable for you! During the offering time you are not expected to give...that is between you and God...many faithful attenders follow the biblical teachings of giving 10%. We only do Communion a few times a year and the wafers and juice are passed around to you while you stay seated. Also if you have children many churches have something like what our church calls the "Parent/Child room" it is a playroom (with TVs playing the service) near the nursery for really little ones or if your children are not comfortable going to the nursery...but my little one loves going to the nursery, it is the highlight of his week!

I will be praying that you find a church that is the right fit for you.
N.

Hi Cheri -

I am certainly not an expert on churches or religions, but I will share what I believe.

First, you pick the church that you feel is a good fit for you, one you enjoy going to and one you feel you are getting something out of. I was raised as a Lutheran, but as I moved around the country, I have regularly attended churches that were not affiliated with the Lutheran church, because I enjoyed them and they furthered my spritual knowledge and beliefs. When you find a church where you really fit, it is wonderful and can really impact your life. It is nice to enjoy going to church and getting someething out of it, rather than just feeling obligated to go.

That said, I don't know of a way to really know if a church is a good fit for you, other than to go a couple of times and check it out for yourself.

One thing I would suggest is first asking people you know and respect where they go. Secondly, I would make a list of churches in your area and check them out online. Sometimes there website can give you an idea of how casual or how formal they are, and some churches, like mine have a casual service where we all wear jeans and sing upbeat music, as well as having a more formal service where people dress up more and sing hymns and have a more structured service. At my church both types of services do communion.

At my church whether or not you go to communion is up to you, some people choose not to and they just stay in their seat when their row goes. And as far as offering, at my church we tell visitors not to feel any obligation to give an offering, but we encourage members to give what they can.

I only keep mentioning my church (Woodbury Lutheran) because that is the only one I really know about. There are many churches out there and I am sure with a little time and research you will find the right one for you. Of course it couldn't hurt to ask God to help you find a good fit. :-)

Good Luck and congratulations on your decision to start attending church again. I hope you find it very fulfilling.

Looks like you have gotten a variety of answers to your questions. I too have attended a church like Eagle Brook that Nicole talked about. I was in a similar position as you and felt very welcomed and comfortable at a non-denominational (meaning everyone is welcome) christian church called Woodland Hills. It is off of White Bear Ave. and Larpentuer Ave. Do what feels good to you and pray about your decision! God will lead you where it's best for you! After all... It's all about your own personal relationship with God! SMILE:)~

What I'm about to say doesn't necessarly mean they are my views. I don't want to get attacked for anything I say here. It's what I learned from my pastor or from other teachings.

You can attend other faiths in my opinion. Lutheran faith is the only one true faith which goes on faith that Jesus died on our cross for our sins and gets us into eternal life. That doesn't mean you can be bad you have the commandments and to love one another. Catholic's believe in good works to get you in heaven and they praise Mary and other religions believe in a false God or worship idols. Some ELCA Lutheran is going down the wrong path as well because they change teachings according to what's acceptable in today's world and that's not okay.

Wisconsin or Missouri Lutheran in my opinion are acceptable and follow the bible as truth in teaching. It's the one true religion that is based on faith alone to get you into heaven. The difference I found between these two so far is that Missouri will let women vote and Missouri won't. Both believe males are the only ones who can be pastor's.

You should sing no matter what. I can't carry a note but softly and quiety mutter the words. I didn't sing when I first started because of being so bad and didn't notice being looked down upon or didn't have people bring it to my attention but wouldn't expect them to. If you sing it may encourage others who want to be silent to open up and sing. All the people make up the congregation and all should praise the Lord and sing. It may be a sign of disrespect to not sing. I don't know.

I weat a short sleeve button up collared shirt, button up long sleeve shirt or sweater with dress pants. Some places allow jeans. The ELCA would be okay with that but you are in the house of God who you should show respect thus dressing nicer but that's my opinion.

You can give as much or as little as you want. I feel guilty when I didn't give. God will provide so if you give $5 a week will it break you? $1? Will it break you? I think 10-20% of salary is what they say. We give $20 a week but when I went to an ELCA church alone I'd give $5 a week but wanted to do $15. $15 seemed so high. I also donated in other ways like in giving $200 or so towards new pew books.

I don't know if all places give wine in bread. It depends on their believe. The bread and wine represent the blood and body of Christ so if they don't believe in that they won't have it. At our church not everybody can accept the blood and body. You need to believe in what it is and I'm not at that point and I don't go up and I do feel uncomfortable. You can ask for just a blessing.

When I visited churches I never went up and when we decided on a church we had to take classes to learn about what they believed in and about the bread and wine etc. We've been going for over a year and I'm still working on my faith in Jesus and I can't get bread and wine yet. I'm not ready for it. I don't go up just for a blessing from the pastor but he suggested I could do that if I wanted so I'm not left in the pew by myself.

We are Missouri Lutheran.

Hi Cheri,

You've asked a lot of good questions, and I'll try to answer them based on my own experiences. I was raised Catholic, and when I was in my mid-20s, I knew in my heart that I belonged in a different denomination. I did my research: I read books on various religions, even those outside of the realm of Christianity; I asked friends for church recommendation; I looked in the Yellow Pages; and I surfed the internet. I visited numerous churches before finding one I fell in love with--a Lutheran church in Mpls. I was a regular attendee before finally becoming an official member about 1 year ago.

My answers below are based on the assumption that you are looking at Christian churches. I have no experience outside of Christianity (besides books), so I can't help you there.

<<I would like to start going, but have no idea how to go about finding the right church?>>

First, determine what you are looking for in a church. Are you looking for somewhere to simply go to service once a week, or are you looking for a church that has a vibrant social life--classes for your kids, volunteer work, etc. Do you want a traditional service, or something more contemporary? You will find plenty of churches at both ends of the spectrum.

Also, depending upon how into doctrine and theology you are, books might be a good resource. The differences that separate the various Christian religions can be slight, but they are very real. Make sure you are comfortable with a church's belief before joining.

<<I was baptized and confirmed Lutheran, is it ok to attend other faiths?>>

Yes, it's OK to attend other church services. Most churches welcome visitors.

<<Also how much do you give for offering?>>

If you are a visitor, I think it is nice to give a couple of bucks if you have it to give. If you want to be discrete, put your offering in an envelope.

If you join a church, it's really individual as to how much you and your family can contribute. Many families earmark 5-10% of their income for charitable purposes, and then take the church offering out of that amount.

Bottom line: Don't give more than you can afford. If you can only donate $1, you still have every right to sit in the pew.

<<What do you wear? Dressy or jeans ok?>>

Dress varies wildly from church to church--at some jeans are OK, while at others, people are in suits and hats. However, I would not wear jeans or sneakers as a visitor. My family attends two different churches, and at both, people dress up a little--think "business casual". If you wore khakis or cords and a nice shirt, you will fit in anywhere.

<<I can't sing or read musical notes, so am I going to be looked down upon for not singing while everyone else in the congregation is? I probably don't remember how to look up the different hymns, or chapters (I can't remember what they're called) either.>>

No one is going to be watching you, and if they are, would you really want to be attending that church, anyway? I don't sing, but I usually follow along in the hymnal. When in doubt, sit quietly and smile. ;-)

Most churches will hand out bulletins that have the songs for that service listed. At some churches, someone announces the songs -OR- the pages for songs are posted at the front of the church. If you are confused as to which book they are singing from--some churches have 2 or 3 hymnals--glance around to see what book people have grabbed.

<<Do all churches offer the wine and bread thing? Do I have to go up there when my row is going?>>

Communion (bread and wine) is hard to address in a few sentences. For starters, Catholic churches offer communion at every single service. However, Catholic doctrine dictates that you must be Catholic in order to receive communion at a Catholic church. So, if you attend a Catholic service, it would be respectful of you *not* to go up.

Mainstream Protestant churches (Methodist, Lutheran, Episcopalian) offer communion regularly--some churches it's every week, while others it's every other or something like that. At these churches, all (including visitors) are invited--but never "required"--to participate. If you don't want to receive communion, simply stay seated. If someone behind you asks if you are going up, smile and say, "I'm not going up. Please go on." Communion is very personal experience. Only go up if you want to, never because you felt like you had to go with the rest of the herd.

In my experience, non-denominational churches do not offer communion.

Good luck to you!

Ask around in your community--ask friends, neighbors, etc. for their recommendation and just start attending a variety of churches and a variety of denominations until you find one that feels comfortable and welcoming. I am Lutheran and I attended probably 5 churches before I choose our church. At our church any type of clothing is o.k. Some people are in skirts and suits and others in jeans, t-shirts or sweaters. I am a regular church goer and I don't sing either! I enjoy the music though. I either "mouth" the words during the hymns or sing quietly so I can listen to and appreciate those who can sing. Someone seated near you may even offer to help you look up the songs and liturgy in the hymnal; it will probably come back to you too. Generally people go up for communion by row (at our church it is a wafer, and wine or grape juice), but you can stay seated if you prefer. The amount of offering you provide is private and personal and will depend on your budget and how much you want to give. Our church is pretty flexible and I bet you can find one in your community that is flexible and welcoming and fits your needs. I am a very part time staff member at our Lutheran church in Eagan. Send me a message if you have any more questions, either general about churches or more specific about a particular church. Good luck.

Hi Cheri,

I see that you already have some good advice. I would like to recommend our church in Roseville, Centennial United Methodist. We have three services: two morning and one 5 p.m. on Sundays. The morning services are very traditional UM, and the dress is anywhere from dressy jeans to dressy dresses. The 5 p.m. service is very casual and a little more contemporary. Jeans are the norm! Our church has much to offer for all ages. We believe that the communion table is the Lord's table, not the United Methodist table, and that all are welcome.

Whatever church you choose, remember that you are there to worship the Lord, not be concerned about what others think. UM also believe, as apparently do Lutherans, that one gets to heaven through faith and that Jesus Christ is "the way, the truth, and the life". To join the church, you must profess that Jesus is the son of God and that you believe that he died on the cross for your sins. B/c of this, you are saved by Grace.

I wish you luck in your search.

Of course I obviously like my church or I would not go there, but I go to a church in St. Paul. It is called First Church of the Nazarene on Wheelock Pkwy. We all dress very casually, most wear jeans or slacks. There is childrens church for kids 6th grade and under and there is nursery for toddlers and infants. As far as offering is concerned we are members and there are many Sunday's that we don't have anything to put in. As a nonmember and especially a vistor you are not expected to put in anything. Even as a member you are not expected to put anything in. We don't do communion every Sunday and we stay right in our seat for it and it is optional. My husband CANNOT sing and barely even moves his mouth to fake it. If you are going to shop I would strongly suggest giving this church a chance.

If you do look for the crazy women with 5 kids ranging from 17-2 and you will have found me. :-)

Good luck

S.

-It is definetly ok to explore other faiths. Most faiths would be happy to have you.
-Offering: Offer what you are comfortable with. There are weeks that we don't offer anything. I think $5 is acceptable if you aren't really a member.
-What to Wear: Depends on the church. My church is pretty casual but most people (except teens) don't wear jeans. Older men tent to wear coat and ties. Slacks and sweater are good. Prodastent churches tend to dress up more than Catholic. First time trying a church wear a skirt and sweater or blouse. This way your dressed up but not too much.
-Singing: Most people won't notice or care if you don't sing. Our church has a projector that shows the lyrics to the song. So, you may not need to look them up.
-Communion (wine & bread thing): Our church does it the first Sunday of the month. Sometimes it is served in the pue and sometimes it is up front. You are not obligated to do this. In some faiths you have to be of that faith to participate. Catholic Communions are for Catholics only. My church is "Open Communion" meaning all faiths are welcome to participate.
-If your not sure what to do, ask the person next to you. Tell them you are trying different churches/faiths and they should understand.

BTW: The church I go to is a United Methodist Church. They are very forgiving and free thinking people. Not to structured. If you like to think for yourself but have some religous guidence, this could be a good option for you.

Church shopping! Yes, you need to "shop" for a church. Most churches are so happy to receive new members that you will be made to feel most welcome, wearing jeans or a suit, singing or not, taking communion or not. Since you were raised Lutheran, that might be a good place to start (unless you already know you do NOT want to be in a Lutheran church.) At least you'll be familiar with the order of service, and then you can think about what you liked and didn't like about it as an adult. Go visit a bunch of churches - talk to friends and neighbors, find out where they go and why they like it (although it might be easier to decide its not your cup of tea if your next door neighbor isn't waving at you from the next pew.) If you find someplace you think you like, go a few times, see if you still like it. Don't be afraid to change your mind, visit lots of other denominations - you're looking for the community that will be a good fit for you, and that takes time. As for money - give what you can afford. No church makes financial demands - even if you find a place and decide to become a member, they'll still let you come even if you never give them a dime. Do what feels comfortable for you - and if what you're doing fits in with what's going on around you, you may have found the right place. Best of luck -

It's totally okay to attend other faiths. The bible says people should tithe (which means give 10% of their income to the church.) I just give what I can afford and I think that's what most people do. Don't worry about offering, you don't have to give any money. Some people wear jeans at my church but if you're feeling ill-at-ease anyway you might be more comfortable a little more dressed up. I don't think anyone will notice if you're not singing. I sometimes don't sing either.

I don't know if all churches do communion but yes, you would go up when your row goes up. Just watch what everyone else does. And you don't have to go up for communion. People at my church decline sometimes and I really don't concern myself with why. It's none of my business and I don't care.

You might consider calling a church you want to try and (without apology or feeling ashamed) just say it's been a long time and you could use a little guidance. They will almost certainly have someone who would be glad to sit with you and help you find the pages in the hymnal and such.

In my opinion you should keep trying churches until you feel welcome but not pressured and that you believe in what they're doing. You should be getting something out of it and see that you could offer something as well.

Let us know how it goes! :-)

J.

P.S. All Saints Lutheran in Cottage Grove is very welcoming.

Dear Cheri, I am so glad you have decided to try to find a church again. First of all, I firmly believe that the Bible should always be your rule book. God doesn't care what you wear, as long as you are there. He doesn't care if you sing, or don't. Everyone worships in their own way. He doesn't care what church you go to, as long as they believe in the Bible and that Jesus is Lord and Savior. You don't even have to give any money. I don't know where you live, but I would suggest visiting different churches in your area. Find a good Bible-based church. I go to Faith Community Church in Hudson(I was raised Catholic). It is non-demoninational. It is a very comfortable, casual, welcoming environment with awesome, contemporary music(the words are projected on the screens in front of the church so you don't have to read notes. You can just listen if you don't want to sing). Communion is once monthly, and you don't have to walk up. They pass it down the rows. Services at 6pm Sat; 8:45, 10:30 and 6 pm Sunday. And... you don't have to wait until Sunday to talk to God. He is awake and listening 24/7, and anxious to hear from you. Good luck, and God bless.

HI CHERi:
I have no idea where you live ... but, I'm in Woodbury. We moved here 2+ yrs ago and tried to find a church ourselves. We had very few requirements, we had to both agree it was a good one, and we had to be able to bring our two children. We went to any church we could find that was Lutheran (my husbands church of his youth), or Catholic (mine). We visited 5+? And, found one (on the internet), on accident that we visited. It felt right. And, we enjoyed the time we spent there ... then we met some folks who also go there, and we stayed. We enrolled our kids in Sunday school, and found out that they too loved the place. So, a year later, we actually joined.
We 'dress up' for church, many people don't. Our church is, whatever you're most comfortable with. There are some Sundays when I bring the kids to Sunday school and have a cup of coffee w/ one of the moms, rather than sit in the pew for the sermon, and that's okay too. When it comes time to give ... give what you can, what makes you comfortable, when more is needed, see if you can give more? See if sacrificing in your own home is something you're willing to do for the sake of your Church.

My husband and I started our own business 1.5 yrs ago, our giving has gone down. But, we still give what we can, and when we can, when more is needed, we try to volunteer. People choose church for many different ways. I believe, God wants you to be happy and comfortable in His house ... I look for that!
For the record ... I can't figure out ever where we are in "the book" either?! 'o) But, I taught Sunday school! And, I loved it.
If you want to know where my church is, let me know.
T.