Copy Cat SIL

Since it sounds like you in-laws are the "leaks," stop sharing so much information with them. She can't copy what she doesn't know about.

I would find that odd too, especially if it's a pattern of behavior.

I tend to distance myself from people that unbalanced . . . you can't tell off "crazy." You'll be the one who ends up looking crazy.

I also would not fill my in-laws in on my plans anymore. Just keep it light and airy, without much depth. It's too bad but sometimes that's the way it is.

Next time you're planning a vacation, tell everyone you're going to Key West and when she races down there, arrive in Hawaii and post from FB with "Went to Hawaii Instead!"

In the end, it's your vacation. As long as she's not staying in your hotel, eating dinner with you, or trying to plan activities with you, enjoy your parallel vacation. Her enjoyment of her vacation should in no way detract from you enjoying yours. If it makes you feel any better, I'M super jealous that I'm not going on vacation, nor have I had one in the last seven years.

In other words, "I wish I had your problems right now." ;)

I'd start having a little fun. Here are some suggestions to tell your MIL to see if they get passed on...

We're going to Afghanistan for vacation!

We're going to save the planet and only drive cars at least 10 years old.

We're teaching our children Swahili.

Family colon cleansing!

We're rescuing 12 dogs that were going to be killed at the shelter.

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Why does it bother you?

I don't understand why it takes away your excitement, are you only excited if you are the first to do things?

I swear I am only playing devil's advocate here. It does not matter if I go places first or my brother or whatever, a trip is either exciting or not. Makes no difference who set foot there first.

My brother copies off me from time to time. I just figure he realized I am right so he is doing it too. :)

Yeah, I've got one, too. She remade her home to look very, very similar to mine. Even down to the exact same large print over the fireplace (I have no idea how she found that one, lol). I try to take it in stride. The thing that irks is that she never compliments my home in any way, just steals my decor ideas. Our relationship is like yours, we keep it civil but are not bffs.

I must admit, I think the rushing off to your vacation spot first is pretty cheesy. But look at it this way ... you say she's successful, smart, pretty ... but she obviously feels like something is lacking. So let the copycat copy, but since she's family (especially!) just let it roll off your back. Good luck and enjoy your upcoming vacay. You know you'll have more fun than her, anyway :)

It's annoying. I can relate. But you just have to stop telling her things. Especially ones that she will end up copying. It's really the only way to curb this habit.

You cant really just "tell her off" that will just enable her behavior.

I'd probably respond with something along the lines of "I'm sorry if you were under the impression that we are all participating in a family version of The Amazing Race. Honestly we were just planning a vacation so you won't be getting any amazing prizes for getting there first." Then I'd snicker knowing all my friends will laugh.

Well damn, I hate it when I lose the 'Who Gets To KeyWest First Game'!
I mean, you probably had a patent on Going To Key West, too!

I think the FB posting may have been a little joke.

Least, that's the way *I* would take it.

:(

Don't get mad, get even...

Me, I would've taken her 3 kids, while she was away, and gone on a super family vaca without her.

Me, I would get all excited about planning a super awesome trip to a new locale, that I had no intention of going to, just to see her 'beat me too it'

For the dishes and decor, buy the fancy disposible plates that look like china, but can be tossed or reused. You can buy a 10 pack for @ $20. Tell her they are your new daily plates and then watch her face when you toss them out. hahaha. Or start buying a place setting here and there from places like TJ Maxx, Goodwill, etc. Have a hodgepodge of stuff that she can't duplicate.

What does your husband think?

I would think she really has issues.. Like mental issues.

I think it is time to realize your "mother" is an enabler and I would still be friendly, but I would not Share so much with them.. And I would make a few changes to my plans in the future.. So when she ends up at a not so great place you can say, "Oh you went there? I meant somewhere else.".

Let us know When you're going to the beautiful white sands and crystal blue waters so we can try to feel sorry for you.... JK!
She sounds like a real pain, Please dont let it ruin your vacation!!
Next time tell your her you're going to some place horrible because you're co worker went and had such a great time! Then if she goes you can LAUGH

Respond to her boasts with "Congratulations, you must be very proud." A bit snarky and snide, but if she keeps rubbing it in your face...

And then don't give it another thought and go about your own business. There's no reason that YOUR upcoming trip should be diminished by the fact that she went there first.

Honestly, if she is doing this to the extent that she is getting the exact same dishes as you, and YOU got them first, then EVERYONE already knows she's a copy cat and has NO mind of her own. How sad and pathetic. But what to do? KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! I know its hard because *if* I were to be going on vacation, I would want to scream it to everyone! But now you know you can't do that. Or I like what the other person said...Say you are going to Key West, then really go somewhere else...hahahahahaha! That would be HYSTERICAL! So I would just lay low and know in your heart of hearts, that she is impressed enough by you and your things that she has to copy you. Everyone knows it and she does too. Good luck!

My advice to you is to take it as a compliment--she wants to be just like you and start letting these comments/behaviors, roll off you like oil on a ducks back. Don't let her win and have a big confrontation about it~ Simply choose not to tell her any of your business and ignore her FB posts etc. When she says something, laugh about it and think of it as a compliment. Life is too short. Yes, this is annoying, but is it worth it to fight about it? NO. GL

M

What can you really do? I guess you could tell her to stop copying you, but that doesn't necessarily mean she will. My mantra is the only person you can control is yourself. If your MIL and her husband are encouraging the behavior, then don't tell her your business. Otherwise, you might have to chalk it up to flattery.

It would get on my nerves too, but what can ya do?

Yep....I have a copycat sister....I have learned simply just to keep my ideas and plans to myself!!! And it works...but sometimes she copies after the fact...and you can have no control over that. My younger sister posted a pic of her tickets to see the Fresh Beat Band...and my copycat sister...got the seat assignment off of FB and went and bought tickets to sit right behind her...and then posted her pics. Now that's a sneaky copycat and bold...if you ask me!!!

Okay I'm not in your boat, but this would irritate me as well. Granted, some things are a form of flattery and I might take them as such, but I think the trip pushed the line. If you want to test the waters, tell MIL that you are going to do something outrageous (which you don't really plan on doing), then see if SIL does it first. If that's the case, you know where the problem lies and just keep everything as a surprise.

Hi, I don't mean this offensively, I think you have gotten great advice-

-that she is crazy lol and everyone knows your are the original.

BUT.... since you asked maybe you would be willing to examine what "she" --might ( i dunno this is your fam not mine)-- be percieving.

Is there any chance your excited comments about the trip are coming off wrong and she is hearing bragging instead of just excitement. And it might not even BE you or hubby, MIL might be adding a tone or inflection when she relays the info.
That would really suck if your own mom was the one rubbing it in that sil MomCeo is going on a fab vac and why can't you do great stuff lilke that copycat?
Like i said i have no idea at all, but maybe if you look close at mils relationship iwth cc sil that might explain things. or she might just be percieving a tone from you or your dh.

Extended Families can be tough. I hope you have a wonderful vacation and that she gets some original ideas of her own.

Don't encourage it... Just ignore it if possible...

Sides?

She's jealous and incapable of an original thought.

Ignore her and live your life.

Like "Jim" said...start saying the opposite of what you are gonna do! Or, just stop telling anyone your plans at all.

And while I realize how silly this is (I have to tell my KIDS this a lot) when someone copies you, it's a compliment because they think what you have or are doing is so cool, they want it too! :)

It's really too bad that she can't think for herself, so either keep things a secret, or seriously, OPPOSITE! hehe! Jim said it well!

If this happened again, do you think it would be rude to say; "I didn't know it was a competition."...and smile.
Learn not to tell your plans in front of her or your mil. What they don't know about, they can't copy of spoil.