M.B.
wow, sounds like you're in a very tough situation. how does your husband feel about everything? do the 2 of you see eye to eye? what is most important is that you and your husband have the same goals or end result for what you want your daughter to learn.
if it were me, i'd find activities for my and my daughter to do that keep us separated from the in laws for as many hours in the day as possible. you mentioned you're home with her all day, but are they home all day too? or do they work?
make plans or activities for you, your daughter (and your husband when he's not at work) to do. have play dates with other friends, go to the library or book store, park, local pool.
if you feel you can, sit down and talk with your in laws. make sure you and your husband let them know how grateful you are that they have let you stay with them. but that you have chosen to raise your daughter with certain rules. tell them that you can respect their rules and you would appreciate it if they would respect yours.
focus on getting that job and moving out. but who's going to watch your daughter? would it be better for you to change your current routines and be able to stay with her yourself rather than working and sending her to daycare? or have your in laws watch her?
talk with your husband and let him know that something needs to change. good luck!