Divorced Moms vs Step-Moms

What exactly is the problem? I would love to help you because I have been a step mom (with 1st marriage) and also I have had to deal with several girlfriends (all live in) that my ex-husband has had. I have also had issues between my ex-husband and my now husband (the police were involved in that one!).
You can call me ###-###-#### or I can communicate with you on this website.

I am apparently of the evil "current wife" breed - aka the Step-Mom. I think that this is not a one answer fits all question. It is totally situational, and no two situations are the same. In our case I can say with absolute certainty that I am a wonderful Step-Mother, and if it weren't for me, my step-son would not know a mothers love. I know we may seem evil to some (biological mothers), but for most, we are a blessing. In our house the BM is little more than an egg donor. I wish she were more, for my son (that's what I call him), but she isn't. I try to pick up her slack and make his life as fulfilled as possible. I am a step-child too, so I know that nobody can replace a "real" parent. But having someone there who loves you can take the sting out of the fact that the "real" parent is not there. I can tell you that the things I do for my son are "real" enough, and in my eyes makes me his "real" parent. I really love him, really study with him, really play with him, really hold him when he is sick. His "real" mother does not. So, which of us is the "real" parent?

i'm a step mom, and it isn't easy on the other side. my step-son's mom, my husband was never married to her, does not want me to have anything to do with him. i can't even say i love you to him, without hearing an automatic comment, that his mommy loves him more. her words i'm sure. as someone who has never been in the other womans' shoes i think that i would want someone that loved my child. as far as my own kid, i want people around that love her. there will be mistakes, my husband and i have different child rearing ideas, as i;m sure a third person would also had a new set of ideas. hopefully there can be a common theme of love for the child. i know this, and still don't have it in my situation, so it is hard on every side. best of luck. ps we are not all wicked step-moms

Do your best to get along...
i keep close atch on how step-mom treats my son. She is to be respectful and he is to report any negative treatment

Hmmmmmmm, from my own experience what makes the difference for us as divorced women has to do with how and why the relationship ended. The situation will make us be more bitter or more realistic when it comes to our ex and in turn their new wife. It is not an easy thing to deal with this but only time helps and the attitute we have for it.
The bottom line is that if the new wife is good to the children and the children are comfortable with her--- Alleluyah, the more people that truly love our children the better especially if that person will spend a reasonable amount of time with our children.

I am both the mom and the step-mom. My husband and I both had other children prior to our relationship. And then we have two together. 5 total. Some live with us fulltime, others do not. So we both have to deal with ex's and other families. You're question is way too vague. There are issues, but they are different for everyone and every situation. I, personally, don't have any huge problems with my ex-husband's wife (aka step-mom) or my husband's ex-lady. It's not me that had a relationship with either of those other women. I treat them with respect and dignity and let them know that I appreciate the role they play in raising all our children. If we have an issue, we discuss that away from the kids and come to an understanding. What I think of either of them, as a person, doesn't matter in the least when it comes to raising kids. They're put in the middle and I want them to be comfortable and not feel like they're betraying either of us to have a relationship with the other. You've got to put the pride aside and be mature about it. And hope that the other woman does the same in return... at some point.

lol. yep. i'm here. i'm the mom and the ex wife and the step mom all in one. me and "original" husband divorced and both of us have remarried, so i am the original wife/mom and also playing the fun roll of "new" mom/wife, to my husband now.

i have lots to share on this, let me know what you would like to actually here about. lol. not always fun. life is messy.

E.

Hi G.,
I can answer this question with a very assured YES!! I am a Stepfamily Coach who helps stepfamilies get along better. Dealing with the new spouse is challenging and takes time, just as she has to adjust to her new situation with your kids (when your ex-husband is taking care of them). It is a time of adjustment for everybody involved. If you have specific questions or concerns, feel free to send me a direct message through Mamasource.
Hope this validates your feelings that you are not alone.

Regards,
J. G