Earlier today I had a sweet conversation with a dear friend. It started when I told her I needed to return some items of hers that she loaned to me for a craft project I was working on.
She went on to compliment me in a glowing way saying how "dependable" I was, how lucky a future employer would be to have me etc. She became emotional over the whole thing. I graciously accepted the compliments and thanked her for her kind words. Later, I couldn't help but think how "boring" I must sound. A bit about my friend and I: she is a free spirited, fly by the seat of your pants type of person, whereas I am a methodical planner who analyzes every angle before making a decision.
I have always felt strongly that if you say you are going to do something you MUST follow it up. Don't say it unless you really mean it. I take special care of other people's items if I borrow them. I returned them on time. I live up to my commitments and expect others in my life to do the same.
Somehow dependable sounds so boring. What are your thoughts?
You guys are awesome. Thanks for the boost! I will bask in the glow of the compliment and stop trying to twist it around!
No, I don't think dependable equals boring. I think boring people are people with no substance or anyone who doesn't have goals/aspirations in life etc. If you are dependable, you are loyal and that is an excellent trait to have. Accept her compliments and let everything else go!
M
I'm with Jane K. – my hubs is wonderfully dependable, and anything but boring. My son-in-law is the same. I enjoy them both for the strengths they have, which include humor and ingenuity.
Nothing boring about being dependable. In my opinion. Im free spirited, crazy at times, but dependable, reliable & organised. Might be a contradiction for some, but not me.
She complimented you and became emotional over it... but you managed to twist it around to mean that you're boring and turn it into an insult. Way to go. ;-) Why can't we graciously accept the compliments people give us for what they are and believe them?
I used to think dependable was boring when I was young. Then I grew up. Dependable is awesome.
Well let's see:
My husband never misses work unless he doesn't feel able to do his job that day (he's sick, didn't sleep well, or is on medication--he's an air traffic controller, and some cold medicines make him ineligible for duty). He is never late--unless I am not ready and then I make him late--he is usually EARLY. He always follows through on any promise he makes, and often even if he doesn't make it a promise but thinks it would be helpful or he sees something that needs doing. He is where he says he will be. Or he calls. Always. He takes care of anything he borrows and aims to always return it immediately and in better condition than that in which he borrowed it. He will go out of his way to volunteer to help someone out who is in need, even babysitting kids (nieces, nephews, kids of friends). He always does his best at everything, including taking care of his health. If anyone ever calls with a favor, he will bend over backwards to be able to help.
Sound boring?
He is one of the most well read individuals I know. He loves sports, working out in the yard, playing with the kids, taking trips and spontaneity. He has written some of the most beautiful songs for me when we were apart (stayed with my mom when preggo with #2 b/c I was so sick and he had to go to work). He set up my car stereo so that when I got in it at 7:25 a.m. on the morning of our anniversary this year, the CD blasted out "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABY! GOT YOU ON MY MIIII IIINND!" He sends me text mssgs that say "I love you. Pinch A (daughter) for me."
I say again, boring? Not hardly.
What you got was not a "back handed compliment," but a genuine one. Smile. She probably wishes she had more friends like you!
After years and years of having so many friends flake out on my at the last moment, never return my stuff that they have borrowed, and giving me evasive responses to what I think are pretty direct (non-offensive, non-prying) questions, I have come to consider my dependable friends as rare jewels that I will never, ever, ever part with. So not boring!
I don't think they are mutually exclusive. I think your friend sounds a lot like your opposite and maybe she admires the qualities in you that she doesn't see in herself as readily. If you are friends she most likely doesn't find you boring, but I do think that some methodical planners are boring! I wouldn't worry, it sounds like she loves you and admires those qualities about you!
I have to strongly disagree with your theory. "Dependable" is an admirable trait which your friend appreciates. She likes that you can borrow things and return them without having to hunt you down for them. I love this in some of my friends too.
Think about it this way: mountain travel guides, those that take people to K2 and Killamanjaro.... I know a guy like this. Yes, he's dependable: people's lives are literally in his hands at times. Boring? Not hardly!!! And he's a dad.
Boring people can be total flakes, too. Boring has nothing to do with reliability, and everything to do with their personality. Boring people lack initiative and spark. My guess is that if your friend, Ms Fly By the Seat of Her Pants thought you were "boring", she might not be friends with you.:)
Don't be so hard on yourself! You have priniciples. Refreshing and nice!
I think you are what you believe you are. If you think you're smart, others will think you're smart. If you're pretty and you believe it...then so will everyone else. Right now you're telling us you think you're boring. So I think you've got your answer. You think dependable is boring...and chances are you are radiating boring because that's what you think of yourself.
If you're asking us to interpret your friend's comments, she clearly was being complimentary.
If you want to rain on your own parade...more power to ya. But for someone like me, that self-depricating stuff is really boring. I tend to lump it with those folks who are false martyrs. It's a real fine line thing.
She probably admires you. Take it as a compliment. Dependable does not mean boring!
M.
You sound wonderful to me. I hate drama, especially the type that comes from people not doing what they are supposed to do. I am sure she admires that part of you and I TRUST people like you. There are some people I adore, but I would never count on because they are NOT dependable and it would stress me out to wonder if my child was safe, if x was getting done.
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i think people who are not dependable are a tad boring.
It's the 'dependable' ones that have "bail money" budgeted. :)
NOT boring!
No, I don't think being dependable makes you boring...it's a very good quality and one that I admire, I love dependable friends because you can trust them...they are the ones I allow to watch my kids. I think that being a planner and thinking before you make a decision makes you smart and responsible.
No, not necessarily. I think she just admired you for being planned and on top of things. She probably wants to be a little more like you ;-)
Maybe in words and on paper "dependable" sounds boring. A person can still be laid back and free, and dependable at the same time. As I get older I have little patience for undependable people in my life. These people tend to have messy lives, I've noticed. (Just in the people I know, I'm not making a sweeping judgment.) The most undependable people I know were a lot of "fun," but they were in debt, their marriages eneded, they struggled with how to parent their children, were unable to handle responsibility, etc. Often, undependable people are a little reckless with their choices.
my husband came to mind, because he is so dependable, and he is far from boring to me.
Being dependable has no bearing on how much fun you are. I like to know what to expect, but I also like to have a good time. The 2 are not mutually exclusive.
Not at all, being dependable is being a RELIABLE and a TRUSTWORTHY person, and thinking about the way you describe yourself, I honestly has to say what a beautiful person you are!!
I do not associate 'dependable' with 'boring'.
~But I can see why you might think that :)
The only time I replace dependable with boring is when I am trying to set up a friend on a blind date!
What comes up for me with the word "dependable" is:
Solid
Grounded
Integrity
Honest
Truthful
Committed
INTEGRITY
It's a great compliment!
No you are not boring at all. Shows you have a lot of integrity! I am the same way. You were taught to do the right thing...Kudos and don't worry about it.
So called "scatter brain" people admire persons like you and you're NOT boring! I can tend to be rather "scatter brained" because I fly by the seat of my pants lots of times. You & your friend compliment each other & just be glad that you can appreciate her ways & she's glad to have her normal, down-to-earth DEPENDABLE friend. She knows that you'll never fail & will always keep your word. I think both of you should be EXTREMELY proud to have the other for a friend. And don't change a thing about yourself! The fact that she showed emotion says she TRULY appreciates you...just the way you are! : )
I think that dependable means that you're not super spontaneous, but lots of stuff that is really fun is planned.
I would not be offended at all.
No, it is not directly correlated.
Not at all.
No, indeed!
My husband is fantastic: he's traveled all over the world, can tell you a joke about ANY subject (it's a game people play where you throw out a subject--he WILL have a joke or story for it), he plays tennis, sails, kayaks, is up for anything I ask him to do. He makes people laugh! He has no fear, but will educate himself and come prepared for ANYTHING, no matter what he sets out to do. He's lived a couple different lives (as have I). He's very dependable (except that he usually runs 5-10 minutes late if he has to pack/bring the kids all by himself). I can depend on him to be a great companion, on my side, and to surprise me with "Hey, let's go to a yacht hop......hey, I just grabbed tickets to parasail, let's go!" with just a couple days' notice (we have to have notice because we only have 1 babysitter option).
Me: I've traveled to 14 countries, only been kicked out of 1, have had a couple things published, have sold some photos I did while overseas and want to learn how to "play" more with photography, I've been the heavy (HEAVY) party girl, I've been the missionary, youth pastor for an innercity hispanic church, volunteered for countless charities, have worked some strange jobs, was "famous" at school for the stunts I'd pull, and now am a soccer mom in the middle of redefining life.
Both of us are known to be extremely dependable, responsible, intelligent people, but we are ALSO fun loving, adventurous, open minded, competitive, jump in with both feet kind of people. You can be both. As a matter of fact, the people that are last to the party, unorganized, won't give you back what you lend them, disrespecting of other people's property, flighty and can't make up their mind or changing it at the last second, THEY are quite tiresome to us. You can be someone worth depending on, and knowing how to manage your time and keep your word allows you to have the time to be fun! (Now don't get me wrong, there are flighty people who are a barrel of laughs, and there are dependable people who can't get the stick out of their rearends to save their lives.....but there are also dependable people that I would LOVE to be friends with....or even marry.....and I did). :)
