Family Rules

Exact will be hard, because there are always exceptions. Make it broad, like "Respect other peoples' property." Then discuss what that means to everybody. Get the kids involved so they own the rules. Also discuss consequences for infractions.

The three we use (gennerally everything falls within one of them):

1. Be kind
2. Be safe
3. Be neat

Works well in my classroom too.

I sat my children down and we made up the rules together. They need to be involved. We wrotr them out then we wrote what would happen if you broke a rule. 1st time warning,second time out(time is the age of the child), thrid a toy yaken away. We display the rules were we can always see them. Key thing is to be consistence.

Here are our family rules.

1. Obey first and fast. (Psalm 119:9)

2. Pay attention. (Proverbs 1:8)

3. Be kind. (Ephesians 4:32)

We had our children memorize the verses. Just about everything is covered in those rules!

In this Home:
We believe in living deeply, laughing often and loving always.
We believe we were brought together to support and care for each other.
We believe in celebrating together - our faith, our heritage, our traditions.
We believe that everyone's feelings count, and the uniqueness of each of us strengthens all of us.
We believe in the power of forgiveness to heal and the power of love to carry us through.
We believe in one another, in this family, in this Home.

Good for you for thinking this through! Although it would be a bit much for your purposes right now, I like Gregg Harris's 21 Rules of This House (http://www.fortifyingthefamily.com/21_rules.htm)
You could get ideas from there and boil them down.

Hi M.,

I recently attended a Smart Discipline Class and it is been fantastic for us! We wrote out 5 rules and 3 chores for 5 year old son. We have a chart that gives him 3 chances and then we start taking privledges away. We also praise him daily on something he did good! That is the gist of it. You can read more about it and purchase the ____@____.com love it!
Good luck,
K.

P.S. We also started giving an allowance to encourage him to do his chores. It makes him feel happy for accomplishing something and he is learning the value of money as well to save money!

....so who's gonna read the family rules for the child born in '03? What do you use? Use your mouth. Talk to them about family rules. Conversation is better than writing rules down because you're gonna make the child(ren) responsible for reading them. When they break a rule, you'll probably tell the 7 year old to go and read the rules, right? Yeah. You need to talk to your childen. But if your kids are acting bad or out-of-control at home, I can imagine how they act in public. I can't emphasize how must you need to talk to them. Verbally tell them what the rules are and what the consequences are. When they break one, follow through on the punishment. Don't ever tell a child what you're gonna do and you don't do it. They remember. If you tell them you're gonna punish them for doing something bad and you don't do it, they're just gonna keep on because the know mommy does not keep her word. At my home, I don't have any rules posted. If I have to repeat myself more than once.....oh, it's on. So my kids know when it comes to behavior, I don't play. I always tell them that I'm not trying to be their friend, especially when it comes to obeying my rules and doing what I tell them to do. Sometimes I make up rules as I go, so if they're not posted or written down somewhere, you're not liable for them.

Every family has their own rules to suit themselves,but what we have done with our rules is we drew up a contract.
We outlined and numbered what we expect of the kids . We also outlined and numbered the consquences of what would happen if the rules were broken. That way there were no surprises.
We had the kids sign and date it.
Our kids are 6 and 11 so they understand it more than little ones.
Good luck.

I made a chart for my 3 year old to cover the basics...no hitting, no whining, no temper tantrums, no throwing, no spitting, and downloaded cute clip art pictures for each one.

Then I put the things we want to do...be a good listener, be helpful/nice, take a nap. Also with pictures...

He starts the day getting one additional sticker on the chart and can "earn more" by doing extra helpful/nice things...or he can lose stickers by doing the no-no's (after a warning).

When he reaches 30 stickers he gets a prize...like a night out for pizza and games (Chuck 3. Cheese, etc.)

He seems to like the chart and will even point to the picture to remind me about what we do and don't do here at our house.

Hope this helps...{{{{hugs}}}}

Hi M.,

In my home we follow the golden rule: Do unto other as you would want them to do unto you. With that come respecting others things, and rooms. Respect other when they are talking. Those are the rules we have in our home. As for chore we all pitch in to get things done. Well except my sons room that is his domain and I have a clever sign I hang on the door when it need to be cleaned. Sign says CAUTION: Hurricane Josh has hit. Please enter at your own risk. Clean up crew is busy cleaning up the reckage. But as for family rule sit down with your family see what things are important to them and work on the rules together.

i got this sign at Homegoods: no fussing, no fighting, no whining, and no backtalking!

We had a girl and and a boy. When they would disagree, my son would strice out at his sister. We sat him down and the first rule was,
We do not hit each other. I comment was, "have you ever seen you dad and I exchange hits. It is not exceptable.
My son from the time he was able to have some freedom in the neighborhood, would ask me if he could do something, whenI told him no he would go to his dad. We finally had to tell them "What did mom(or dad) say. They learn the game really early.
We always tried to have our evening meal around the dinner table, even take out. That works until they get about 16. Then you have to say we will eat toghether on these nights. NO EXCEPTIONS!

We have 'core values'. Ours are Respect, Honesty and Kindness. The great thing about this is that almost everything that your kids will do (or not do) will fall into these three categories. It gives you a great opportunity to help them understand how their actions reflect these values. When my son was 4, we started a 'star chart'. At the end of the day, we would talk about the day and he would get 'stars' for things he did well and nothing for the things that could be better. We had about 5 things ("Morning Hussle" includes making bed, getting dressed and feeding fish; then pick up toys, etc.), then we had the values section. Then at the end of the week, we would let him pick something out of a hat if he had a good week (rewards were everything from pizza for breakfast, nachos for dinner, family game night, family movie night, etc). Good luck!

Respect people and property

You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!

We love each other.

Just relax a bit. Reinforce the manners rules and being nice rules while it is occuring. Maybe simple drawings of the children picking up toys or putting dishes in sink...

My rules are:

Be nice.
If it is not yours, don't touch it.
No lying.
Hands, feet, & objects are not to land on your siblings body especially leaving marks or bruises.
Make good choices, think about your actions first - will this make mommy mad?

1. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit - or your bottom will be hit. (My daughter added the last part.)
2. Is it yours? Is it a toy? Did you ask? Then do not touch it.
3. No whining!
4. No tattling (unless someone is bleeding or about to).
5. No lying!
6. No screaming (unless you're being stolen).
7. No secrets. (Surprises are not secrets.)
8. Do/don't...because we are a family.
9. Do/don't...because it's the right thing to do.
10. You don't have to anything but die. You always have a choice. (more for the older ones with outside influences)

the two main rules in our house have always been: 1) leave things alone that don't belong to you, and 2) if you get something out, put it back WHERE IT BELONGS.

Mine were many years ago-My youngest is 19 now:

Walking Feet
Inside voices
Respect other's things
Please and Thank You
I can't remember the last one, but they were on the wall and everyone including me had to follow them. I even let my kids put me in time-out once for raising my voice.

L.

In my preschool classroom, we have one rule. "We are not allowed to hurt anyone's body or feelings." It really does cover a multitude of sins.

Our basic family rule is, "We take care of each other." That pretty much covers all the important stuff! :)

We eat from our "seat" and not our "Feet". My 3 year old likes to stand up in his chair so we say this little rhyme to remind him.

We sat the kids down and had them help derive the list......I actually have a list of rules that when we go out of town and Grandma comes to stay, the kids have to sign the rules as if they were signing a contract. They know when bedtime is, and to pick up after themselves. They know not to yell and scream at each other. It's great how when they think the rules are their idea, they are all about following them.

Good luck!

Your children are so young. Who is to read and follow the rules?

Be respectful. You may have to explain the meaning once...make sure you give a well rounded explanation! Like to others, to their own things, to other's things, others feelings. If their behavior doesn't reflect 'respect' at any given moment...an easy reminder is "when you _______, it doesn't show that you care about your brother. Don't be disrespectful. Or "when you run your truck along the wall, it doesn't show me that you care about the time it took for me to paint it. It's a simple rule that means we work together as a team to support each other's ideas, our belongings, our home, car, furniture, clothes, etc.

Be thankful. My children still slip up on this one. They often whine when I say it's time to end the video game session (even after a set time)...instead of being thankful for the time they had. Just an example...I hate video games...even the learning ones mean my boys are sedantary!!! sp?

I think both of those are important to ingrain into children early! That way, their 'learned response' to situations is thoughtful, before they act!! Let's hope anyway!! And, since the 2 rules incorporate SO much...It makes me feel better to say, "There is only 2 rules in this house, what are they?" Then it doesn't sound like I'm being overbearing!!!

Our are something like this

1) respect those who have authority over you (when they disobey or are sassy or rude we remind them of this rule. Lying or hitting are also not showing honor or respect)

2) respect those around you (this is taught daily on being polite in our conversation, attitude, opening doors, table manners, no hitting, yelling, or lying ect.)

3) respect toys, furniture ect (if toys are not put away, doors are slammed, and one is jumping on the sofa, that is not respecting the object)

Really, you will find that most every infraction falls into those three categories. If you teach a child to show respect to people and objects around them they will learn appropriate behavior. You could also add things like chores, tv/video game rationing, ect if you wanted to. My girls are still young so those aren't on the rule list yet.

Here's our House Rules, hung in our kitchen.
If you open it, close it.
If you turn it on, turn it off.
If you unlock it, lock it.
If you Break it, fix it.
If you can't fix it, let us know.
If you Borrow it, return it.
If yo make a mess, clean it up.
If you move it, put it back.
If it doesn't concern you, don't mess with it.
If you don't know, Ask.

My kids are older now, but they really noticed the rules and would talk about them when they were about 5yrs-11 yrs. old, as they got older it just became the way to do things.

And they even used to ask why Grandma didn't have House Rules in her home.

It's never too early to get your kids into a routine, whether it be with rules, manners, or hygiene or any of the other life lessons we are responsible for teaching our children. Good luck!