Fell Out of Love.

I would suggest marriage counseling. Together and apart. He needs to repent and move forward and you need to forgive. You will need to completely forgive him (no matter how long it takes) b/c it will not be fair and it will not work if this subject is brought up repeatedly through the years. Do you think you could work toward that?

Speaking from personal experience, it IS possible to rehabilitate a marriage, find that love and trust and respect again but it doesn't happen overnight and it can't be a one way street. BOTH of you haev to work on it together and you have to be patient. It may take YEARS for the trust to completely come back, and there may always be that little naggin suspicion that may raise it's ugly head..."he is acting different..is it because he is having ANOTHER affair???" Don't react out of anger or hurt...stop and remember WHY you fell in love with him...remember the family that you have....but ultimately this is a decision that only YOU can make!!!
As a final comment....my husband and I just recently celebrated our 41st anniversary....and we are happy and in love...so it CAN happen!!!!

When an affair occurs the love is still there if you truly did love the person in the first place. You might "think" you fell out of love with the person because the trust you once had is gone, you feel angry, you feel resentment, you feel slighted, and the list could go on. You have to allow yourself time to go through your emotions. It's almost a mourning process like in death but the biggest thing is to be able to have an outlet to talk through your feelings. Go to dailystrength.com in the meantime while you seek out some counseling. This website is very helpful and has an infedility forum where people such as yourself has been through something like this and made it through.
You have a huge decision to make.....you are either willing to accept his mistakes as a human being (because we all make them) OR you are not willing to accept this kind of treatment and go through the process of divorce. No one else can make that sort of decision for you-only you can. I know what you are going through so send me a personal message if you want further information or just to vent! I'm so sorry you fell victim to this sort of tragedy that seems to happen more often these days :()(

Wow, that's a tough one. Seeing an affair and hearing about an affair is two totally different things. Can't say I blame you for falling out of love. Lots of questions...Is your husband sorry? Has he fallen out of love? Do you both want to work on this or is this just the straw that broke the camels back? You can get passed this if you both want to be together, but it is going to take work and a rebuilding of trust. Rebuilding of trust is a must. Definitely seek counceling if you both want to stay together.

I don't know if is possible to forget about an affair but I know you can forgive IF your husband is worth it and truly sorry and willing to work to gain some of that trust back.
My ex, cheat on me, but he was so NOT worth it for me to live on constant worry and insecurity, I also don't think he was really sorry.
However, my mom's husband cheat on her and she forgive him. He is an amazing men, hard working, good father and good step father, always have treat my mom good, no drink, no drugs, etc.
When I told my husband what happen, he was against my mom forgive him, but they have being married for many years, they have accomplish so many things and in general have a good family.
I told my mom to be honest with her self first, to give her some time to think clear, to see if what was he reaction after that, etc.
It have been years since that happen, and while is always being that ??? if he would do it again, it does help when both of them are trying.
He is doing her best to not do good things that look bad and she is doing her best to don't hurt her self and attack him every time she gets nervous.
Is not easy, thought.
I am sorry this happen, even if my ex was so not worth it and I didn't have to think much about forgive him (to me it was clear that it wasn't happening) it did still hurt back then.
take some time to think deeply about it and to see what is your husband reactions to all this.
Hugs.

I am sorry for what you are going through. It is extremely hurtful, what he did to you. What you do now, I think, involves two processes: 1. Figure out what you need to do with / for yourself and 2. figure out as a couple where the both of you go from here. Both of those should be done with a counselor.

I wish you all the best.

Its tough to have to go through the one you love finding love or sex with someone else.

If you loved him before the affair, you can love him after. If you simply lusted for him before the affair, it takes much more effort to change the lust into love, but that too is possible. It wasn't all that long ago that marriages between two children were arranged by their parents before the children could even walk. Those men and women in arranged marriages found love for one another.

Watch the movie, "Fireproof" with your husband. Buy and follow the book, "The Love Dare", a companion book to "Fireproof". Buy the books, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." Follow their advice and suggestions. If you do, your husband will wonder why he ever strayed. I've seen husbands and wives save their marriages by following the suggestions in those books.

Men and women have different views of sex. The worst thing you can do is to "cut him off". One of the best things you can do, to keep the eyes from wandering, is to make sure what he was looking for elsewhere he finds at home. Most men I know would never go out for hamburger if they had filet mignon at home. Or if you would like, most men wouldn't go out to drive a volkswagen beetle if there was a lamborgini in the garage.

Good luck to you and yours.

Falling out of love is different from commitment. If you saw him have an affair you have lost trust, not necessarily love (unless you didn't in the first place). You have to make a decision if having an affair is ok with you and leave the relationship because it may happen again, or make a decision to work on it because you have committed to him in marriage for better or worse.

Well, it is one thing if a spouse has an affair but there is contrition and the love is still there. You may want to invest in some couples counseling. If it doesn't "save" your marriage, it can maybe shine some light on its dissolution to make the process a little smoother in the long run and help give you guidance on how to make it the least traumatic for your kids as possible. Perhaps a couple of individual sessions would be good. (Make sure you really don't love him anymore, rather than just feel numb due to his betrayal.) Don't undermine what you're going through.

I wish you the best.

I am sorry for what he did. You didn't deserve that.
You should think about what is best for you now. Don't worry about what others think.
You know your heart and how you feel.

I pray that the Good Lord will guide you
threw this.
Take care of yourself, you deserve the best.

I would suggest seeking counseling. Preferably with your husband. But if he won't go, go alone. You'll need time to work through your feelings to help you make the best choices for yourself. S.

Thats a different kind of fall out of love. I fell out of love with my first husband in 3 seconds for the same reason. It never came back.

You didn't 'fell out of love' with anyone.

Love is a verb, not a disease. You don't catch it, or get over it. It's something you DO.

I've never heard of someone who is adored by someone, supported, loved and cherished, respected and loved, who steps outside that --who risks it, in fact, for anything, not even a hot young thing in a very short skirt. Your husband went looking for something --it was dumb and immature to look, since what he's missing is still where it ever was (inside himself), but it's what he was doing. That he failed to find it is hardly surprising.

I would suggest the book Divorce Busters, if you have some values or ethics or morals that you'd like to live up to, and stay married and work it out.

Hi R.. You didn't *fall* out of love.....if your husband had an affair he PUSHED you.
Absolutely go to counseling. I can't imagine the hurt you are feeling right now.
He broke your vows and he broke your trust. Only you can determine if your marriage is worth saving. I hope he is truly sorry for his choices.