K.H.
S.
I support you not doing CIO
What has worked for lots of moms I know was a book called "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. You can get it at amazon.com for less than $6.
Although I'll probably end up reading it for ds's sake :-) I didn't know about this book when dd was at this sleep stage, so we kinda fumbled around and figured it out ourselves. From what I've heard of this book we did a combo of No Cry and 'pick up, put down'. We ended up with a pretty strict night time routine that we didn't allow to change at all for quite a few weeks. For us it was dinner, bath, teeth, bed, book, prayers, bed. These were at the same time every night, +/- 10mins and always in the same order. For dd it really helped to have routines and lots of verbal transitions. Now that she's older, we have charts - mainly pictures with arrows leading to the next thing. If we're starting to talk about what comes next "let's go check the chart". There are things that always go in a certain order even if they get spread out by other activities (dinner, pjs/teeth, bed).
After a month or so I decided that dd didn't need a nightly bath, so we substitute a massage for non-bath nights. I've noticed that it really helps to calm her down and (at this point in time) is eager to climb into bed b/c she knows she has 1 on 1 time with me and my hands :-)
All that to say - that's what worked for us. No Cry Sleep Solution worked for lots of my mom friends. Please be patient with your baby girl since she only has 13mos seniority on the planet compared to you :-) [that's one thing I tell myself when I feel frustrated]
hth
K. H, mama to
Catherine, 4y
Samuel, 14m