Help with Behavior Issues

Keep in mind that they're still both really babies. Little boys just tend to be wired differently than little girls. I have one of each and they were both very different from each other, even as babies. And yes, my son was more aggressive. But he's a very sweet, easy 8 year old now. And my 4 year old daughter is constantly giving us attitude. Just hang in there. A new phase will be here before you know it. Just make sure you're getting enough breaks for yourself!

Part of the screaming comes from his inability to verbalize what he wants. Help him put words to his feelings, but keep disciplining. I have two boys 18 months apart (now teens), and one of the rules was they could never take something away from somebody. They did learn it eventually and although there's frustration, it's a good rule in the long run. Screaming can wear you down can't it? Try to talk very calmly, almost in a whisper and see if he'll stop to listen. Say something like "I know you are mad because you wanted that toy didn't you? Maybe you can play with it later, but we don't take things away, we take turns". Or just ask him "are you mad? are you sad?" If he continues to scream, yes, he needs a time out. Let him know he's in time out because he's screaming and he can come out when he quiets down. Walk away if you have to. Ignore the screaming as best you can. Be sure to tell him when he is playing nicely that you really like how he's playing, sharing, being gentle, etc. Positively reinforce while you can so he is getting some positive and not only negative attention. Boys like competition, so if you can set up activities where he can beat the clock or do something before Mommy does, etc. that might help his behavior and allow him to have fun too. ECFE classes are a great way to learn some fun new activities too - see if you can find one near your home.

This is just a phase that he's going thru and by the time he gets done, you'll be an expert on how to be a creative dislapinarian (sorry about the spelling). I have three of those unique creatures except mine are 16, 15 and 12. I've gone thru all of this and then some. Before my husband and I started having kids, we had used to love watching things like National Geo., in fact it was always the ones about animal behavior. The thing that came out in almost every one was that the male cubs exhibited the domincey over the female cubs in everything they did, whats yours in mine and whats mine is mine. Now fast forward a few years and insert kids. I began to realize that some of the same rules applied to these strange but very lovable little creatures. I've gone thru the "what's mine is mine, what's yours is mine and I will scream at the top of my lungs to get that point across and I don't care if I haven't touched it in weeks or you haven't touched it in weeks, it's still mine". I know that is seems hard right now, but you're on the right track, but instead of putting the child (who is still a little young to grasp the full effect of doing a time out, wait a few months) in timeout, put the toy in timeout for a few minutes, then give it back to the right child. Explain to him in very simple terms that what he had done was wrong and then since you say that he does sit in time out, have him do his time out sitting next to you or on your lap, it might be that he needs an extra hug or a little tlc at that moment. Now remember that all the advise is just that. No one is right on the button and no one is wrong either. Remember also that these two will change behaviors faster than you can change your socks. What you will glean from all the advice, keep locked away in your mind because you'll be able to use it all thru their years with you. What ever you choose to use at this moment, use it all the time and stand your ground. But as they grow older, change what you use.

I'm reading "Raising the Spirited Child" right now. It is easy to read and has some good ideas. My son doesn't fit the book's definition but I like how it is written and will also use these ideas in the classroom. I got the book from the library.