Help with My Little Naughty One

That sounds like my two year old. My first was never as naughty as the second. I just think it is a difference in personality. And I found that taking a toy of #2 can help somedays. More often than not she just laughs at me when I put her in timeout. I do it anyway to stay consistant. As for the bad language, I would start by watching what you say. To her it doesn't make sense that you can say some words and she can't. Then just try ignoring her when she says it. One of my kids recently overheard someone say a bad word and used it all the time. I explained it was a bad word and we don't say it. The more I would get onto her about using it the more she said it. So I just ignored her. She used it more frequently for a day and then since I didn't pay attention she stopped using and hasn't said it since.

"Making the 'Terrible' Twos Terrific!" by John Rosemond is an excellent book! I read it when my first was one, and now he is about 27 months and still a delightful child. He of course has his moments of willful disobedience, of pushing his 8-month-old brother down, and tantrums, but I knew to expect that and I know how to deal with it, because of Rosemond's wonderful explanation of what exactly is going on with my two-year-old and how to deal with it. Good luck!

Bless your heart! I wish I had advice, but I have none. I am fixing to be in your shoes. I am 4 1/2 months pregnant & have a 2 year old son. I am terrified that the new baby will turn my angel bad. Let me know if you figure out any secrets. Good luck!

I have a three year old doing the same things. I had to stop and remember that he is seeking attention. I have been praising for things done well and talking out other incidents. I did all of the other things and got the same responses. Sometimes they need a cuddle more than discipline and do not know how to tell us.

When I had a similar problem with my son I asked my mother what to do and she suggested a form of "ignoring" it. Not letting inappropriate behavior go, but refusing to respond. If it helps, don't allow the misbehavior to become a "game" of she does something you don't like, you get irritated and she gets the power of being in control of something. I think the earlier advice of your daughter needing to feel she has some choices was great. I found it helped a little to take it even further than providing my son with choices, and not reacting to the poor behavior. He learned that poor behavior got him nowhere.

I also have a very headstrong daughter and this is what worked with her....Giving her choices. Many times children feel like they have no contorl over their lives, mom or dad tell them what to wear, when to eat, what to eat, etc. By giving the child choices, they feel like they are in control (when actually, you still are!). The key is to give 2 choices with each question (and ask as many as possible to give them more choices), either choice you are happy with.

Example:
When your daughter tells you she is thirsty, you say:
Would you like the red cup or the orange one?
Would you like juice or milk?
Would you like a lid or a straw?
Would you like to drink it in the kitchen or at the dining room table?

This works with discipline too...
When your daughter shows inappropriate behaviour, you say:
That behaviour is not acceptable in our home (or at church, or at the supermarket, etc.), would you like to spend 5 minutes time out in on your bed or in the dining room chair? If the child refuses to choose, you just up the time and repeat the same question. Again, if they refuse to choose, you just up the time and repeat the same question. Eventually they will see that the time is getting longer and longer and will choose.

The tough part is sticking with it in the beginning. When they refuse to choose (when it's not discipline) or try to give another option, you choose for them and STICK TO IT. This teaches them that if they won't choose from your options that you will take control back and choose for them. It won't take very long until they will choose because they will learn that if they don't you will choose for them and take the control away. If they refuse to choose (when it is discipline) you just keep upping the time and at some point you just stick with it so they will remember the next time that the punishment is worse if they don't choose.

My daughter is now 18 and a wonderful young lady, however, at 2 she was driving me crazy because she was so stubborn and strong willed. This method worked wonders on her. These children won't do what you want them to do just because you want them to do it, they won't do it until they decide to do it and that can be quite frustrating!

Good luck!!!

K.,
Hello. The best advise I have for you is to read "Kids Are Worth It! : Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline" by Barbara Coloroso - it's $10 on Amazon. I'm sure that time is limited with a new baby, but both your children will benefit from it if you can make the time to read it. However, I will say you'll need to be willing to change from "punishment" to "discipline" for it to work and there is a huge difference, but your children will be happier, you'll be happier and they'll learn key life lessons. It's wonderful - I know I'm a much better parent now that I utilize her philosophy. I love it and I hope you'll at least consider it. Good luck.
~ J.

She needs some positive attention to balance out the negative attention. Plan some time for just the 2 of you without interruptions from the new baby. Get your husband to watch the other children & vice/versa so that she has one on one time with each parent & it is all about her. She is acting out because the new baby is getting all the attention right now & she is no longer the baby. Also include her & tell her you need her help with the baby so she feels included & tell her what a big help she is. Also be carefull with the hot sauce & soap, I just read an article the other day where some states consider that abusive now. I'm not saying I agree or disagree but you might want to check with authorities to make sure you won't get in trouble for doing it.

God Bless & Good luck!