How Do You Celebrate Mother's Day?

Just a different perspective: my Mom is no longer living, and my husband's Mom and Stepmom live out-of-state. I'd LOVE to be part of a multi-generational mother's day celebration. As it is, Mother's Day lands the weekend after final exams, so my poor dear husband spends the weekend grading anyway! This year, my toddler and I are meeting a friend and her kids (she's also a Final Exam Widow), and we're going to enjoy Iced Coffee and Kids at the Conservatory. BTW, I find it helpful to try and celebrate throughout the week or even the whole month!

We get together with my mother-in-law in the afternoon (as do my sisters-in-law and their families) so the last couple years what my husband has done has been to book me some spa time in the morning. That way I feel acknowledged but also celebrate his mom and sisters all in the same day.

Have you ever had this conversation with your husband? Have you ever told him how you feel or how much you would love if he celebrated you for being the mother of his child instead of just focusing on his mother?

Growing up my father would never do anything for my mom for mother's day. It hurt her feelings. I always thought he was being insensitive and he really was especially since he expected gifts, recognition and dinner for father's day.

In my house, I let my husband know what I want. I have also taught the children to celebrate me on mother's day and other days too. My mom is alive and I will go by as well as give a call to my mother in law but really if you want to be celebrated let him know that as well as some suggestions on how you want to be celebrated. Part of the day could be devoted to you and the rest of the the day to his mother or vice versa. Just some food for thought.

I think it is important to remember that I am not my husband's mom, so you are absolutely right in that he should be focusing on his mother.

As the parent of a young child, he should definitely get you at the very least a card and some sort of gift or acknowledgment. At the same time, he does need to recognize and spend time with his mother. I don't think you need to be ignored, but remember that you are not his mother and therefore his obligation is not to you.

So yes, take the initiative while your child is younger and unable to really demonstrate their gratitude to you on Mother's Day and do what you'd like - sleep in, tell your husband if you want him to be sure to take you out to dinner, etc.

I have small children and my husband makes sure that they get me cards. On my very first mother's day, my son 'got' me a really nice Tiffany bracelet and then every subsequent year I've gotten a gift certificate for a half-day spa experience at my favorite place. I remind my husband every year "You don't need to get me a gift for mother's day but if you feel like you really do, the half-day spa thing is what I want." Yes, he really is one of those people who feels the need to *buy* me something on MD. We communicate, we're both on the same page, so everyone ends up happy.

Bottom line? Talk this over with your husband or you'll wind up like the women who eventually post on here, venting that their husband's didn't *get it* when MD came around.

I totally understand you and I hope what I am going to tell you is going to make you feel better. My husband is from another country, in which they don't celebrate mother's day. I am from Mexico and for us is a big deal, in which we celebrate mother's day on May 10, it doesnt matter if is sunday, monday, tuesday, etc.. My husband is never going to fullfill my expectations, because he is not used to celebrate, so here is what I do (the same thing I do in my birthday and my special days.. ) either you grab your mom and grandmother, if you are lucky to have them around, and celebrate with them, or take a "me" day and scape yourself to somewhere where you really like, for yourself, for instance, a massage, a movie, eat something you really like, with friends, etc.. my point is that do not expect something from him that is going to make you feel special, YOU make yourself feel special because you ARE special and you deserve to feel like that in this or another day. Is better if you do it in another day, that is not mother's day to avoid crows. You can talk to him and explain you feelings, and tell him that you also want a bit of attention, you can either spend sometime with his mother, or yours, or whomever you decide, but the most important thing is that you do not feel left behind.. Good luck and enjoy your day!

My kids are also young, but my husband helps them make me breakfast. We celebrate our moms too, but you are the mother of his children, so it's only natural that he celebrate you as well. I would tell my husband, "For mother's day, I would love to go out here to eat, or I'm going to get a manicure, or it would be so nice if you helped me finish painting that wall..." start planting ideas :)

All of us Mom's go out to dinner with our families. All of the moms are celebrated. Sometimes each of us gets a gift. Sometimes not. We brag on each other. I tell my daughter what a great mom she is and she tells me the same. My son-in-law says the same to his mother and to me and to my daughter. That sort of thing. My son-in-laws mother says nice things about me too and I to her.

What does your husband do that causes you to feel that he's just celebrating your mom? Talk with him about what you'd like that would allow you to feel celebrated too.

The little kids go to. THis year there will be a month old baby and her mother will hold her in a mobbie wrap. The rest of the family will manage the older kids. I usually did this when they were 2 and 5 but now they have a step-father that is good at helping.

It's a family meal enjoying being a family.

Maybe you could have a compromise. I am assuming your mother is out of the picture since you don't mention her. You guys could spend part of the day with his mother and the other part you could do a family activity. You are right in remembering that you are not his mother and he needs to celebrate him mom, but you need to be celebrated too. Hope this helps.

We get together with both sides of the family. Typically I'm the one preparing food but this year I decided against it since I figure I'm a mom too and should get to enjoy. So, we're having everyone over and catering so we don't have to worry about any of it! I like getting together with the family. I know my husband will get me gifts from him and the kids. Typically I do drop some hints about what I'd like and it's usually something spa related so I can get away for a few hours. Sometimes it's best to just say what you want/need instead of getting frustrated if you feel like your needs aren't being met. Happy Mother's Day!

I have felt the same way some years...everything is divided up between myself, my mom, 2 mothers-in-law, grandmas, aunts, etc., etc.... I would feel bad that my husband didn't do/make something special with my kids. It's maddened if you let it be! I have realized that "Mother's Day" is just a marketing scam made up and promoted by our comsumerist society...buy more stuff, buy more stuff, buy more stuff! I feel all sorts of pressure to have a perfect day with my perfect kids and my perfect mom...its not reality. Forget all the hype, throw away the shopping ads and take you husband and daughter and go for a walk on the lakefront or in the forest preserves. Not attacking you, or any one person, just the whole idea of the over hyping of everything these days! Peace!

I don't really feel like I have to feel "fulfilled". My kids are 15 (step dtr), 11 and 8. They usually make something at school and bring it home or make something at home for me. My mom lives close by so we all go out to lunch to celebrate. We both open our presents together. My kids usually make something for her or color her pictures, etc. I think in the past they have let me sleep in (which hubby does every day anyway!) and bring me coffee and breakfast in bed (or if I get up, they make it for me). So I don't really feel like any big deal needs to be made and am happy with what we do. That being said, I have always been a big believer that you need to SAY what you want so you are not disappointed!!! All the posts after Valentine's Day about how disappointed the wife was cuz hubby disappointed her once again crack me up! SAY WHAT YOU WANT!!! So if I wanted more, all I would have to do was tell hubby and he would make it happen. So I hope you enjoy your day. Maybe celebrate this weekend with his mom and next weekend for you? With a blended family, we do that alot. In fact, my step dtr is going to her mom's on Sunday so we are all going out on Saturday with my mom to celebrate. So no biggie on the actual day, just plan something you want to do on a different day! Good luck and have fun!!!

This will only be my second mother's day, so I don't have a LOT of experience, but I think it works. We will have a nice family day on Saturday, just my husband, daughter, and myself. Since it sounds nice I think we will either go to the zoo or maybe hit the River Walk. I don't know for sure....but last year my hubby got me a GC to the spa so I could get a nice massage or something. Then on Sunday we will go out for a meal with my in-laws. I'm OK with that, to me Sunday is still a "homework day" - I'm a teacher! :)

I think you should talk to your husband. He may not know or understand how you feel. In my family we celebrate my mom the day before with brunch or lunch or dinner. My sisters who live in town come too. This way we have Sunday with just my daughter and husband and me. My MIL is ou of town so a gift and card is sent and we make sure to call her. It's a day to celebrate you and the children who made you a mother. Try going to see your MIL on Saturday instead :)

I bet your husband and his mom will understand your point of view. Just tell them!

I have always celebrated Mother's Day with my mother and sister. After I had my daughter I just brought my daughter with me. I don't go to my MIL's to celebrate because she is not my mother and I already have a tradition with my mom and sisters. As far as my husband goes, he used to always celebrate Mother's Day with his mother (we used to celebrate with our one mothers separately) but ever since I had my daughter he has been coming along with me to celebrate (totally his choice). He says that he prefers to celebrate with the mother of his child. But I wouldn't be hurt if he chose to celebrate with his mother cause that's his mother.
Maybe you, your husband and your daughter can celebrate for "you" by going out to a nice dinner or brunch and then celebrate with your MIL afterwards. You deserve some private attention.

Hi Kelly,

Mother's Day for me has kind of evolved over the years. When my oldest was a baby/toddler, we would go to the zoo every Mother's Day. This was my idea because my husband would always just ask me what I wanted to do. My mom was usually in MI celebrating with my grandma, so that' s what I picked. We would go to Church, then go to The Lincoln Park Zoo. Nowadays, our tradition is my husband cooks a lovely brunch for me and my mom. I usually do the shopping for it, but he does all the cooking/cleaning up. My mom and I sit and sip mimosas and enjoy the day.

Unfortunately you can't control other people, and you can certainly explain your feelings to your husband, but that won't necessarily fix the problem. Ultimately you're responsible for your own happiness. Decide how you'd like to spend your day and do it (but out of kindness to your husband I'd make sure you work in at least some time for him or all of you to be with his mother, because that seems important to him). Decide if you want to do a family thing, mother and daughter, or just have some time to yourself to do something special. Then tell him (nicely of course) that that is what you plan to do for your day. BTW - the tone of this isn't rude, just straightforward. I think you deserve a great mother's day :)

For me it's really just another day. I try not to have huge expectations, because usually those wouldn't be met. So we try to do something fun like go to the zoo or a museum if it's a nice day. Closer to home there is Willowbrook Wildlife Preserve, where you can make a donation in honor of your mom that will help baby animals this time of year.

I think you should spend a little time with your MIL and then make the rest of the day fun for yourself and your daughter. Maybe we'll see you at the zoo!

We go to Arlington Race Track, sit in the million room and have a wonderful brunch while trying to win some money! I'm not a gambler by any means...but the track is beautiful and so is the million room and the food is wonderful. Our daughter is almost three...last year was our first year doing it and she loved it. You can walk around and see the horses getting paraded around before they race. The grounds are beautiful...most people are dressed up so it even seems a little fancy for the moms. We love it! My mom isn't alive and my DH's mom lives out of town so I do get the day to myself.
Good luck and Happy Mother's Day!