How Do You Show Your Husband That You like Him?

I haven't read all the responses so I may be duplicating what has already been said but I tell my husband how much I appreciate him being different than so many guys. I appreciate his trust, his patience and his willingness to help out around the house as well as not complaining if I don't do something women are normally expected to do (cook, clean, etc.) I do them but he doesn't complain when I don't. Just tell him you appreciate him and count the ways...

Honestly, just tell him. My husband and I are always telling each other out of the blue how much we love each other. We also will tell each other "I like you!" Do it when it's silent and he catches you staring at him, then tell him. You can also tell him you respect him.

Surprise him with a hidden note in the egg carton or somewhere in the pantry or on the laundry detergent bottle. Just a simple "Thanks for washing the clothes, honey" would be sweet, I think. Or a "You are an 'egg-celent' husband and father. Thanks for all you do" in the egg carton would make me feel great as a SAHM. Put some lingeree on a hanger and hang it in the closet where he'll see it with a note that says "I'll be thinking about you all day. Will wear this tonight for you." Have your child(ren) help you make a special gift for him. Plan a date for you two to go on. Book the babysitter and get plans in action.

Get a couple of boxes of the kiddie valentines, they should be on clearence now. Don't let him know you bought them. Sign a few and put them where he will find them. I don't know if the still come with envelopes but be sure his name is on it, to Bob, love T.. Ideas of where to put them, in his sock drawer, on top the visor in his car (fall in his lap when he puts down the visor) in the cupboard for him to find when he is putting away dishes or making dinner. On the lawnmower, washer-dryer. You will come up with more places. I know they are cheesy and that's the point. Everytime he finds one he will know you are thinking of him.
Send him out on an errand, get rid of the kids for the night, put on something slinky, light candles pour some wine and when he gets home say 'baby tonight it's just you and me'

I hit on him. Constantly. (because i crush on him)
I flirt with him through texts, send him sexy pictures, grab his butt, kiss him all the time, hold his hand, cuddle with him, etc.
I do nice thigs for him. (because I love him and want to)
I will bake him brownies while he is at work, I will make him his favorite dinner, i'll run to the bank for him, surprise him at work with Starbucks, etc.
I ask for his opinions and suggestions. (because he's important)
What do you think we should have for dinner, where would you like to go for dinner, how do you think we should celebrate our anniversary, how do you feel about going on a day trip next weekend (where would he like to go), would you like me to schedule the baby's Dr's appointment on your day off, etc.
hope this helps.

My hubby was a SAHD for 2 yrs so I know what you are going thru. while he was great at being a SAHD he became pretty insecure and felt a little worthless. Didn't help that men kept commenting how he wasn't being a man, for not providing for the family. It was our choice and at the time I was making the big bucks. I had to reassure him, that I liked him and desired him etc. I wrote him a heartfelt letter why I loved him and how much I appreciated all his help etc. Gave it to him and said if you ever feel like you aren't important read this. He said he had to pull it out a few times and it got him through. But yes schedule some more you and him time and he'll feel more valued especially because he is a reluctant SAHD.

I'm reading the Five languages of Love you have to find what is his love language cuz if you're using the wrong one he wont feel loved. It sounds like he want quality time one on one with you and nothing else including praise will do. Find time in the evenings after kids go to bed to talk to him and give him your complete undivided attention. watch a movie together, share a snack, dont go do your own thing after kids go to bed.

Im constantly hitting on him, smacking his butt, nibbling his earlobe, playing with his hair.....whispering, or texting naughty things.

I make special meals just for him, sometimes ill put out place mats,cloth napkins for it.

I make sure he hears me speaking nice things about him to his friends, my friends, his g-parents and our kids.

I let him have his guy time, I try to be cool about it, though sometimes i like to hang out too because i like playing pool and dominos.

The only thing i DONT do(like you) is go out with him on dates, he really wants me too but his off hours are so limited and time with the kids monopolizes us.I really should get on that, if it was me who wanted dates without the kids i would expect him to respect that and try.

As far as advice for you, it sounds like you already know, your husband is the rare man that can express his needs quite clearly, whatever you do, get on it and quick.

Remember when he was your boyfriend and you hadn't "snagged" him yet? What did you do then?

I tell my husband I like him, and that I love him. And I do it out of the blue. He'll be sitting on the couch watching tv, or using the computer and I just walk up and tell him I like him. And then kiss him. Or I grab his butt and tell him I like him.

Stop inviting people to do so much with y'all and focus on some time alone with him. Tell him that you truly do like being alone with him because you like him. Tell him that you still have that crush on him. Show him.

You say that he makes your house run so smoothly. Have you told him that without all he does that your home and lives would be chaotic? Have you told him that you couldn't do it without all of his help? Telling him, and not just once, could go a long way toward showing him that you appreciate it all, and might make him feel better about the current role reversal situation.

Well, we don't get a lot of "dates", either, but something as simple as getting up before the kids to have coffee and a shower shows my DH I like him. Sitting with him for a few minutes before we go to bed and just being near him. Making time to talk during the day. Putting a love note in his lunch. Come home now and then to have lunch.

It sounds like what your husband is saying is that he needs to carve out "you time" without the kids, so look for little times to do that.

If he's not happy being a dad at home, then help him connect with other dads in his shoes. There's a blog that the dad doesn't update anymore called Looky, Daddy! he might want to read. Help him find something that WOULD make him feel manly. A new hobby? A Meet Up group? A part time, at-home job? Does he like to build or fix things and could he do a little of that while you are home or the kids are napping?

Having been in the rat race and leaving it to take care of DD has really changed a lot of how my DH and I manage the house, so I can relate to a little of how he feels. I have PT online job now and did freelance work because *I* wanted money that was mine. It made me twitchy when I didn't have projects and felt like I had to ask every time I needed money for my needs. If your husband is feeling like that, maybe set it up so he has $x for himself to do WHATEVER with and see if that helps.

Get the book "the Husband Project" It is a GREAT book with little things you do for your husband every day without him knowing about it. The point the author is making is why stop treating your husband the way you did when you were dating. I did this project with a group of women. My husband never found out, but it worked wonderfully. I am going to do it again in the near future. It is fun doing things on the sly.
BTW, our group did the projects about 2-3 times a week, instead of everyday.

My dad leaves Hershey's kisses throughout the house for my mom to find. Does your husband like chocolate?

Often if I am out running errands and he's been at home with the kids all day (mostly so I can get out and have a break from them lol...we split the care of the kids 50/50 when we are home, as we are both working parents), I'll make a pit stop at Starbucks or Panera for his favorite coffee.

It is the little treats like these that are a nice surprise that make him perk up and smile! And, it only costs like $4-6.

As for me, I sit down and talk to hubby every evening one on one. Sometimes it's only for 3 minutes, others it's for an hour. Depends on what we decide to talk about. We have lunch together (no kids or friends), about every 3 or 4 weeks. I'll do a little something for him that was completely unexpected.

As for you, it seems like you're an extrovert; very out going who loves having lots of people around. When you're out with other couples or families, your not spending quality time with him. There's no need to do all the other things, just one " I need to make him a priority and plan more one on one dates and not invite people out with us".

T.:

You and your hubby need to sit down and TALK - really COMMUNICATE with each other.

It sounds as if HE EXPECTS YOU to do all the planning and when you do - you add people - which is fine by most people's standards - but it seems to upset him.

Does HE praise YOU?
Does HE try and plan a date night?
Does HE do any of the things HE EXPECTS you to do?
Does HE tell YOU he has a crush on you?!
Does HE make YOU a priority?

This is NOT a one-way street!! This is NOT all about him and HIS needs - it's about YOUR needs as well.

If not - then HE NEEDS to! SAHD or NOT!! If he's the one at home with the kids, hand the family calendar over to him and let him take charge!! Tell him the things YOU want to hear - that HE appreciates the fact that you earn enough $$$ to keep the roof over your heads, food on your table and clothes on your back. So you would reverse it - thank you (insert whatever pet name you give him) for taking care of the house and kids so I don't have to worry about it. Or THANK YOU for cleaning the house today - it looks great! Thanks for cooking dinner tonight - it was YUMMY! Acknowledge what he does around the house - he's not a kid, he's a grown man - you don't need to "gush" over it - just tell him you appreciate what he does, acknowledge what he does.

How do I show my hubby that I love him and appreciate the fact that i don't HAVE to work?

I have his coffee hot and ready for him EVERY morning! made with love!
I make a lunch for him to take to work - there are times I'll even write a cute note on the sandwich wrap.
I MIGHT put his laundry away for him! :)
I help get his briefcase ready in the mornings sometimes - putting his laptop and glasses in there - this allows me to get a better kiss before he walks out the door for the day! YAHOO!!!
I make dinner almost every night (Friday night is MY night out so he takes care of the kids)
I will walk up to him when he least expects it - nibble on his neck and tell him how much I love him.
I might grab his cute little butt and say "I'm sooo glad I have this butt to grab!! And I love the man whose butt it is" or something silly like that - so that he will smile...
Oh yeah - there are times when the kids might be engrossed in a game or something else - and I flash him! :)

Just think of things you would like done to you - and do it. If you were a SAHM what would you have him do or say to you that would make you feel appreciated?

I agree with the always inviting people. My husband does this and it drives me CRAZY! It turns into a group thing, instead of intimate one on one time. Think about that. I'm sure it makes sense when you do.

Anyway, to show my husband I like him. (Actually love him, which is way deeper than like.) I rub his shoulders when he's lying next to me. I call him to tell him I love him when he's not around. I send him text messages or emails when he is working telling him I'm thinking about him, miss him, can't wait to see him. I make him his dinners that he chooses to make him happy. Doing these things mean I get them in return.
Again though, I think you guys have serious issues. If you have to ask how to show you like him, when it should be easy to LOVE him, something deeper is going on.

Oh, and we both work our booties off outside of work with our two businesses and maintain the kids, household, and property. Tell him he's doing a good job. Tell him you noticed something good he did that day, or your impressed with ________. Yes, you need to praise him, it shows him you care and notice. And, please, stop always inviting others. You need bonding time. To me, it does sound like you don't want it though.