What Do Women Want? - Marietta,GA

I REALLY don't think I can wrap my head around this idea. I don't know what I'd want. But I commend you for how hard it sounds like you are working on things.

A massage.
When we were dating (I was living in Cancun and he was here) when he would go visit me he would stay at home waiting for me and and when I came home (or sometimes an hotel) he would give me a massage, and he actually really tried!
Now, he still gives me a massage but is not as good, most times he ask me to give it to him and many times he falls sleep, both: when he gives it to me or when I give it to him.

I would love it if I came home to a clean house, kids with grandma, and a nice candle lit dinner. I would totally go for a steak on the grill! We hardly ever eat red meat so that would be something very nice.

wow, you rock the house. When my husband was a sahd, I didn't expect him to cook. When he did occasionally, I was thrilled. I shopped and cooked. He did the lions share of house keeping and laundry.

What I truly liked was to come home to a happy family. The days when he was moody, cranky, down on himself were really no fun to come home to. When I walked in and everybody was dressed and heading outside to ride bikes or play ball, I was all warm and fuzzy inside. When I came home and he was on the couch, the kids were zombies in front of the tv and the shades were drawn - I felt as gloomy as the house I was walking into.

The one, most wonderful thing he has ever done that still gives me chills - is a bubble bath. He knew I had a hard day. He put a radio in the bathroom on soft r&b, ran me a hot bubble bath, lit candles, hung my robe and favorite towel on the hook. When I walked in the bathroom I almost cried. I locked the door and he put the kids to bed. It was heaven.

screw the dinner, kids are gone im dragging my husband to the bedroom.

and nothing is getting rushed

Well...both my husband and I work and he still cleans. Monday I was sick, tried to go to work but failed shortly after arrival. Before I left for work he had made me breakfast, got my coffee in my travel mug with two Splendas and a quarter cup of milk, and.....dum dum dum, had dinner in a crock pot so that all I had to do is plug it in when I got home from work!

This man works 60 hours a week.

Good luck beating that!

You sew right? :p

Remember what I said about taking me seriously but he really did do that Monday. :)

Oh he also cooks most of the meals, unless we are doing Italian, that is my domain.

Anytime my husband does something to help me without my having to ask... that's HUGE!! Just do your best and take mental notes; if you see your wife doing something as soon as she gets home, maybe next time get it done before she gets there. These are the things I try to do for my husband, you know? It goes both ways :)

Hmmm, what I would want is....well what I WANT is for him to already KNOW what I want, and just DO it, or SAY it, without prompting...

Well, I don't really KNOW what I would want! Noone has ever ASKED me what I want.

So my answer would probably be, better ask HER what you can do/say to make her life nice.

Cuz, you know, I'll bet SHE'S got the answer to that question! Better put aside an hour or two before you ask!

:)

(And yeah, I know a suck-up when I see one!)

I would like to come home to no kids and dinner in front of the tv and maybe take-out so you both get a break. I wouldn't care how the house looked.
The best thing would be to do something for someone without them knowing.
You are really sweet thinking about your wife. Make sure you get some time to yourself once in awhile or do a guys night on fridays.

I am a SAHM.... ALL DAY, I am doing for others.
What I would like as a SAHM... is for once.... someone doing something for me. And not expect anything in return, back.
That... would be my slice of heaven.
And if it were, a consistently occurring thing.

You are a SAHD. I think, your Wife should be treating you to something.... Being a stay at home parent... is a 24/7 all day and night "job."

Sorry, I have been in a bitchy mood lately.

You sound like a great SAHD/Man/Husband.

I would expect my kids to be alive. That's it. As time went on I would expect more things, dishes done, house clean...It's what I strive for as a SAHM. Does it happen? rarely! Life gets in the way!! Little kids cling to you while you try to cook. I totally get that, and your wife should too.
So, I say, as long as your kids are alive and well that you are doing good.

I actually had to take a minute away and think about this because I'm so darn touched that you asked, I wanted to make sure I gave the most honest and helpful answer.

I think every woman, working at home or outside the home, wants to be validated. They want to know that what they think and feel and do for their family matters and that someone is paying attention, even to the little things.

It could mean different things for different women, but to me it means quality uninterrupted time with my husband when we talk, or play cards, or watch movies (but talk through the movie - no shushing allowed). It means if he brings me dinner he remembers what I like and from where. When he gets flowers he remembers what my favorite kind is. He remembers about the girl I fussed about the other day and asks how that is. He remembers I like him in wife beaters and my favorite music.

So, if it were he and I in this case he would:

Have the dinner that I like
With my fave music playing
My fave flower or flowers in a vase on the table
A video he knows I'be been wanting to see waiting in the DVD or cued up on on demand
A conversation not about kids, or chores, or bills, or any of the other chores of life in which he drops something that lets me know he has heard me in previous exchanges

He would get so lucky

If my husband were a SAHD? I think I would love to come home to a nice cool drink - Coca Cola - and have dinner prepared for me. They did this for me for my birthday....although I'm the SAHP...it was still nice - I was treated like a queen for the day!

If you have good hands a massage would be nice.
Does your wife like bubble baths? If so - have one prepared so she can slip into it when she gets home and have the kids gone and while she's in the tub - fix dinner.

How sweet of you to want to do this!!

Ha. Can't speak for women in general... but I can speak for myself:

I would want him to ask, and not to interpret. But that's me. When I say something I'm up front and honest and not coy. I don't hint.

I would want someone to ask me. And then believe the answer.

What I would PERSONALLY want most? Laughter. A smile. Nope. I take that back... a series of smiles. Funny stories about the day. Calling to touch base about dinner so I can pick up anything we need on the way home and cook together... or decide that chinese delivery is a gift from god. But laughter is the single most important thing to ME.

Caveat:

When I was working, I couldn't come straight home.
When I was staying at home, I needed a break.

One of the best tips/tricks I've ever been shown is this: With young children and a SAHP... BOTH people need time to "come home from work". ((Not true for everyone, but true for many if not most)).

What works best for most people is that the working parent stops about 5 minutes from home (coffeeshop, cafe, whatever is CLOSE... no commute is pretty vital). At the coffeeshop the WP washes their face, changes into "real" clothes, and takes about 30 minutes of "me" time. Then they get home, and they're ready to be "on"... instead of exhausted and needing about 30 minutes to "come home from work". Since they're refreshed and ready to be on... the SAHP then gets about 30 minutes while the WP plays with the kids of time to "come home from work/ me time" to refresh. Shower, read, whatever.

THEN they both come together for dinner, family time, etc.

If my son was young... that's what I would want for BOTH of us. That time to become human again.

So my 3 things would be:
1) Asking me and believing the answer
2) Laughter
3) Mutual respect / both of us helping each other out (aka one example of which being: both of us taking/getting a break before diving in for the rest of the night)

Are you talking about every day or a special day? If it were a special day, yes, steak, potatoes and brocolli...yum...and something super fattening for dessert...

Everyday, if it were me working full time and hubs was at home...I honestly would just like to come home happy and see happy faces when I walked thru the door. The house just "kept up", not even clean, and something to eat for dinner would be great. That's it.

I think its unreasonable for anyone, husband or wife, who is at home with little kids to keep the house perfectly clean and have a gormet meal every single night and all the laundry done and put away, just not realistic. We have a good system between the 2 of us. I work from home and hubs works full time. But he does ALL the laundry, and there is 5 of us. The kids are getting old enough to do several things that help out too. We kind of clean as needed and don't stress if things are not spotless, no one cares. And we are not embarrassed if anyone drops by. The house is "normal" and looks lived in and we like it like that. And check out makedinnereasy.com. It has printable meals for the week with recipes AND a shopping list...easy stuff that the kids will like too...anyway, I hope you enjoy your special night..and a bubble bath would be heaven...with a nice drink of her choice, some no-no chocolates and a sexy book... =)

The only thing I would *expect* is that the kids were taken care of properly - that means fed, wearing clean clothes, hair and teeth brushed, and reasonably happy. Having dinner started (or at least THOUGHT about) would be nice and not a FULL days worth of toys on the floor.

For a special treat? Some uninterrupted grown-up time. That could mean a number of things: special dinner, going out, games and wine at home - whatever you two like to do for fun.

Also, I agree that it's the little things that count. Maybe making her favourite dinner....making sure her favourite jammies are clean and put away....making sure her favourite comfort food is in the pantry....or getting to that chore or errand that she's just been too busy to finish.

If my husb stayed home, I wouldn't expect much but maybe just dinner & the toys picked up?
That would be great!!!!!
Laundry would be an added bonus!
Housework can be handled by both on the weekend!
If you want to do something nice for your wife, I think taking her out to dinner is great if the budget permits.
Or make her a great dinner of HER favorites.
You are so nice!

Keep doing what your doing.

Im a sahm right now. Thankfully my husband understand that somedays the house isn't going to be perfect. We aren't always going to have a 3 course meal and the laundry isn't always going to be done... Honestly some days I just dont feel like it! Even though I always feel guilty when he walks in and I still always tell him Im sorry I didn't do it when he was working all day...he hugs and kisses me and tells me he is glad I took the day off.

As for something special usually once a month I suprise him with his favorite meal or make him a peanut butter pie or cheese cake. I can't stand either one, but he loves them!

I think it would be great to have someone take the kids, have a nice dinner and snuggle up on the couch or in bed and watch a movie with no interuptions. The best part would be if it was all a suprise :)

I wouldn't even care if the house was clean, I could look pass all of that! I know my hubby would also.. but the house clean and me not being the one doing it would be a bonus, you being home all day also can understand that!

In general, I'd want my kids to be dressed in clothes other than their pajamas from last night, look relatively clean, and most importantly, be happy. I'd want to hear that they did an art project that day and maybe went on or hosted a playdate. Or went to the library, museum, or just to the grocery store.

I'd LOVE for there to be music on, have dinner planned out at least, whether we order out, I cook, he cooks (that part is kind of easy for us we both love to cook), just thought of at least. I would really love for him to hand me a glass of wine some nights after I've said hi to the kids and changed clothes. And for him to be relaxed, that would relax me. Walking into a stressed out situation would be the last thing I'd want.

But it sounds like you're doing great. Keep it simple.

In terms of something special, steak dinner would probably be great. Is it in your budget to surprise her with a piece of jewelry with the kids' birthstones? Amazon.com has some really inexpensive options for necklaces and charms. Right now I'm sure the thing she wants the most is to spend more time with her kids. Giving her something that's about them would mean the world.

If I had young kids and a husband who stayed home to care for them, what I'd like when I came home would be not to walk into chaos and not have hubby drop everything and expect me to completely take over or him to have left a mess for me to clean up. I wouldn't want the kids gone - at a neighbor's or already in bed - so I could have a quiet dinner with my husband on a work night. I always wanted to see my kids after work.

Well, some time ago, I remember reading that "acts" have differing significance for men than for women.
For example, a man would be really "wowed" to have his wife get him a gold trip, fantasy football camp trip, etc. The little stuff? Yes, they think it's nice, but are not too "wowed" by it.
But for women, all kinds of "acts" kind are Even Steven.
So it means as much to your wife if you make her a breakfast and change the dirty towels twice per week....she'll appreciate it all.
Just the effort alone is commendable.
Sounds like you're doing way better than keeping the house typhoid-free and the kids in Pop-Tarts!

Instead of a call saying to take my time getting home...a call saying high tail it home...the kids are out and we have the house to ourselves for x-hours. Forget the grill! Have something delivered and have a date night sans kids. :)

oh my gosh what a nice person you are!
I am sure your wife will love whatever you do that's special.

It sounds like you are very thoughtful of your wife. I'm sure she appreciates it. I know that my husband likes the house to be tidy when he gets home. He gets that most of the time. We also try to be joyful and excited to see him. I don't dump on him when he walks into the door. I let him come in, greet the children (and me), change, relax, grab a glass of wine. I feed him dinner. We have conversation. We are glad to be reunited. I want him to want to come home. I don't want him to come home to screaming children, chaos, messy floors, handing him a problem as he walks in, etc. I want this to be his sanctuary, his haven. I want him to look forward to coming home. So, we work to that end. We have a "5 o'clock clean up" time, where we all work to make the house tidy right before he comes home. We just go through and make sure the things of the day have been put away. Clutter cleaned up. That adds to the sense of calm and order. I light candles. When I think about it, I put on a bit of perfume, make sure my hair is presentable, no stains on my clothes. I want to be pretty for him. If I had to come home to a househusband, I would love it if he smelled all masculine and yummy. But, I have to say, for me, my greatest desire would be that my husband be the one providing financially for us and that I would be the one keeping the homefires burning. I think I personally would struggle with the roles reversed. Something about having a man take care of me and making me feel safe and secure. I don't think I would be able to handle the roles being reversed. I'm sure I would do it if I had to, but my great desire would be to see him make it work for me to stay home so that I could take care of the children and house for him.

This is a difficult question to answer because every woman is different. I personally like to clean and generally enjoy doing housework as a way to relax. My husband works part-time from home and I usually have really long days at work (often ~10 hours/day). As far as doing stuff around the house goes- all I really want from him when I get home is some sort of food. He cleans up in the kitchen sometimes, but not often enough for me to expect it; just enough so it's a pleasant surprise when he does!

Like I said, every woman is different; perhaps it would be best to remember what sorts of things make your wife feel loved. I was in the middle of typing this response when I scrolled down through some of the more recent answers and saw that someone else mentioned the book, "The Five Languages of Love". According to this book, there are 5 different ways to express love, and different people speak and understand different languages. The five "languages" are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. It's funny, if you read through your responses so far, you can easily guess which language each woman speaks!

So, maybe it's not all about what you can do around the house during the day; just do the best you can, and remember that there are a lot of other ways you can keep your wife happy. Remember that a lot of these things are little things that can be done on a maintenance basis, not big special things that you only do once in a while.

Answering the question regarding what I would like done- I'd love an occasional compliment on my appearance ("Words of Affirmation"), and occasional random, unsolicited "Physical Touches" from my husband that would indicate he still finds me attractive. But that's just me. :)

Unconditionally loved, appreciated and listened to wholeheartedly. The house, or presentation of other things are the last on my list. I want my kids taken care of and happy, healthy and safe and a husband that would really listen and validate. I feel extremely thankful that I have this at home! :) I think it is wonderful that you are asking this question!!!

On a daily basis I just want there to be mental calm when I get home. There is nothing worse than those days our son runs Dad ragged and at the end of it all everyone has frayed nerves. I walk in the door to greet two frustrated people, a whining dog and general chaos because the wagon wheels fell off. I try to be understanding but it can be hard since no one has a chance to catch their breath. You rush through dinner, clean up, baby entertainment and baby night time routine. Then we fall down on the bed just looking at each in exhaustion. Not so good days.

I personally don't care about a clean house but we don't get super messy so I may be spoiled. I don't care about dinner on the table since that tends to add to the mental angst factor. My husband is a perfectionist so his cooking is fraught with great peril.

My perfect selfish one night would be to come home to a tidy, good smelling house and have a long, lovely meal with my husband while someone else watches our son. We do an occasional date night but it’s outside the home. I miss the dinners at home where you don’t have to dress up and you can just truly relax. If my husband could cook this great meal, then that’s fine. Otherwise, there’s this restaurant we occasionally indulge in their takeout and it’s a rare, real treat. I could go either way on the food. The point would be to be at home with my husband, enjoying his company and the baby free silence.

I am not much of a trinket/gift person but if you wife is, then she would certainly appreciate a small gift of whatever makes her happy – jewelry, perfume, etc.

Well my husband is the type of man who cannot sit down. If we start to watch a movie, he's up in about 10 minutes. If he was a SAHD, I'm thinking the house would probably be clean and dinner would be on the table. He always has to be busy, doing something that needs to be done, not something that he thinks is fun to do. It drives me crazy. Anyway, so to answer your question, I'd like to spend some time with him, at home, doing nothing, but maybe talking and catching up. Don't get me wrong, we do have our times when we do this, it is just nice to have his undivided attention. So a good steak out on the deck, with a good drink, that would be nice. Hope you enjoy your time!!!

Holy moly, you are the stay at home dad asking what you can do for the one who gets to leave the zoo every day and spend it with adults? Are you a saint or what? Does you wife know what a great man she has at home?

There is the classic 60's advice that the kids should be clean and quiet and you should meet your spouse at the door in a nice outfit with a BOW IN YOUR HAIR (haha) and a drink on a little tray. Just for laughs you could wear the typical French maid apron and greet her at the door with a big pink bow in your hair.

I think the fact that that you are both doing what needs to get done to support the family is great. Are you getting enough time away from the kids, time with friends to connect and feel like an adult, time to relax? Time was always the greatest gift for me when I was a stay at home mom. For my birthdays I would get a "free" day: to take a bath, to take a walk, to do nothing in front of the tv. So perhaps your wife would like that too.

Sounds like you've got a good routine started-which is awesome in my book!
When I was working days and my husband was working nights he kept the kids during the day and he didn't do the cooking or cleaning. I just had to fit it in but he was working, too so I guess somewhere that evens out.
I would have liked an occasion where I came home and he gave me a bit to clean up and we go out! That just would be a dream if someone else was able to keep the kids. It really depends on her taste though. A nice home cooked meal is always delicious and relaxing without the kids underfoot.

I know I'm WAY late...but perhaps you could talk your fabulous wife into taking this Love Language quiz? Find out what her love language is...and learn to speak it fluently. ;-)

Also, check out the book "The 5 Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman.

The quiz is here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

As far as what I would expect from you as a SAHD, I think I would want what you seem to be delivering each day! I'm a SAHM and I think my husband is pretty understanding that sometimes the house is a mess (okay, more than sometimes) and there are days when he has had to tell me that he's dangerously close to being out of clean underwear ;), but overall I do what I can he seems to be okay with it! Hopefully your wife is the same!

For a special ocassion, I agree with JL...I'd order in something super delcious and tell her to get on home quick b/c there aren't any kids there! They maybe have dinner in bed even! Or at least dessert! I do like your idea of a nice steak dinner too. If that is something that would relax her and she'd enjoy it, then absolutely go with that!

One of our favorite memories from before kids was being able to lounge around on a Sunday and order pizza and leave our bed only long enough to answer the door! It seems such a distant memory, but I'd love to have it again! ;)

What a nice husband! It is wonderful that you are thinking of what you can do for your wife, and not just worrying about your own wants/needs. I am sure that your post will remind many of us in Mamapedialand that a little thoughtfulness goes a long way.

If it were me, I would be thrilled to be notified early that I can take my sweet time getting home if I so wish. Maybe a little Starbucks certificate on my dashboard with a note that says, "feel free to have a little chill time before you get home... no rush! You deserve some time to yourself!" Then I would arrive home to a clean house and dinner prepared, and no "honey do" list. The kids might be off at a sitters for the evening, or if that is not possible, their homework would be done and they would be quietly watching a movie. Dinner would be consumed in front of a fun movie and perhaps I would get a foot rub. There would definitely be something sweet for after dinner (something chocolate, for sure!) Then my hubby would run a bath for me with some candles and maybe a new book, and let me relax while he put the kids to bed.

Good luck, you will have to tell us what you decide and tell us how it goes! I am thinking it may be high time I need to come up with something nice for my hubby!

PS I want to clarify that what I stated above would be "something special", to happen maybe once a year, and NOT my expectation of what every day would go like! HA!

Aww, that's sweet that you asked and you care enough to find out. Actually, my husband is just in the process of returning to work after being a SAHD for quite a while. Unfortunately, he didn't really do a stellar job and didn't step up nearly as much as I hoped he would. While it was nice having him home so that our daughter didn't have to do day care, I got frustrated a lot by always having to point things out to him on a daily basis that weren't getting done that I felt he should have been getting done. I wasn't trying to nag or be a task-master about it, but he just seemed more depressed and stuck in a rut by staying home rather than embracing it and deciding to be productive about it. It just didn't seem to come naturally to him and he never seemed to "get it", no matter what I said or did.

I guess I look at it from the perspective that if I was a SAHM, how would I want my husband to be coming home? I wouldn't want him to expect a "perfect house" either. Coming home from work, I would never expect the house to be perfect, but I wouldn't expect it to look like he did nothing all day. Given that we only have 1 child, I figure it really can't be that hard. Dirty dishes in the sink should be cleaned, or at least loaded into the dishwasher until it's full and ready to be run. No dirty plates or cups just left on the table. Recyclables should be out in the bin in the garage instead of still accumulating on the counter. Kitchen counters should be wiped down and free of crumbs and sticky spots. Run the vacuum once a week, or as often as necessary. Keep the bathrooms cleaned. Do the grocery shopping and have dinner ready to go when I get home. Keep the kids occupied with something and spend some hands-on quality time with them instead of expecting them to just be entertained by the TV all day. Take them outside and play in the yard, or take them to a playground. If you need help with something because you didn't get to it because of being busy with the kids, I'll be happy to pitch in once I get home, or pick something up at the store on the way, but again, the house should be reasonably clean - not look like it's still a disaster and it's been hit by a tornado and you couldn't be bothered to do anything about it.

Interestingly, in our house the tables are currently turned. DH is in the process of getting training to get his commercial driver's license and I am available for relief work but not working full-time right now. So while he is in school from 8 am to 5 pm every day, I am home with DD. She does go to preschool in the mornings so I use that time to be as productive around the house as possible. I obviously don't do everything every day but I do what is needed and nothing takes that long. I do dishes and clean up the kitchen. I surface clean the bathrooms. I do DD's laundry and then fold it up and put it away. I go grocery shopping and return cans for recycling. I pick up toys and put them away. I take the dogs for a walk. I plan out meals and often get dinner going in the slow cooker for later, so when he gets home, there is a hot meal waiting. I make sure bed sheets and towels get washed. I am responsible for my laundry and DH does his own (which is how it's always been done, no matter who's working and who isn't). I get DD dressed and ready for preschool, drop her off, and then pick her up when she's done. When DD is home I spend time playing with her, setting her up with paints or play-doh, and taking her out for play dates or time at the park. I get the coffee maker set up at night and programmed to start brewing in the morning before we wake up. And the thing is, nobody has to tell me or remind me to do these things - I just get them done!

If DH had done a better job, I would have been more than happy to let little things slide. Instead, seeing the same sink full of dirty dishes for 3 days straight, not getting done because I haven't said anything about it, would send me over the edge. Or seeing a paper plate with a half eaten PBJ on it, sitting on the table, that had been there all day instead of just being tossed in the trash. Or calling DH to let him know I was on my way home and he asking me what the dinner plans were - ummm, really? You've been home all day, why didn't YOU plan anything? Once DD started preschool in the mornings, I told DH that was it - essentially, he was "fired". So hopefully he will soon get a job in the "real world" which he will be better at, and I will either keep up with relief work, or try to find something part-time that will allow me to be home with DD more, and keep up with the housework, and still make good money of my own.

Maybe for something special at home, you could just take a break from cooking, and get some favorite take-out, and let her pick out a movie to rent that she's really wanted to see - even if it is a "chick flick". Then watch it with her without complaining.

Thanks for asking! :)

P.S. Get a crock pot and a recipe book of crock pot meals. Super-easy to make and set up in the morning, and then just let it cook all day until dinner time. ;)

I think simple and sweet is what I love.
If you can get the kids down for bed alil early maybe 30mins. Id be happy to have a late candle nite dinner, maybe a sweet wine, and your steak sound wonderful, make a baked potatoe(which you can also do on the grill) maybe a salad and ice cream with fudge for dessert. An top it off with a movie or cuddling outside with a fire pit.

I think a nice dinner that you make would be very nice. My hubby works from home and is always so busy. We don't get a lot of alone time. I miss the days when he would cook and I would clean up. That was our arrangement before he started working so much.

I can't imagine any woman who expects to walk into a perfectly clean house, all the chores done and kids standing at the door waiting :) I think you are well above the average!
My husband has Friday's off (he works swing shift so I am on my own Sunday through Thursday and I work full-time) and he is responsible for the boys (7 and 3) and dinner that day. I absolutely love to walk in and have the house picked up (free of toys on the floor, laundry baskets by the couch, table clear of school work), dinner on the stove/bbq (I don't even care what it is, as long as I didn't have to plan it or cook it), my kids home and ready to play, a glass of wine waiting, and to be able to sit down and not worry about a thing. I also love it when he tucks the boys in while I am taking a nice, hot bubble bath and then I get into comfy jammies and get to snuggle on the couch with him and watch a movie :)
It happens most Friday's and I love it!!!
I also keep a to-do list for myself ~ small projects around the house that I want to get done, or random chores that I need to still do for the week, little things that I have to write down or I'll forget to do them. I LOVE it when he finds my list and does a few of them for me, without being asked or even expected to do. It's my list and I fully intend to do them, but it just makes my day when he does one or two for me!
Another thing that just makes me happy and starts my day our just right is every once in awhile he will get up in the am (he doesn't get home until midnight or 4 am) while I am getting ready for work and he will make me a coffee and get the boys up so he can see them for a few minutes before we leave for school, daycare and work. I love it b/c it doesn't happen often and it means the world to all 3 of us when it does.
Try to find something out of the ordinary, every day routine and change it up :)