L.
Hi!
Have you tried having your husband be in charge of his food, drinks, etc? I would wait him out. He is TOO young to be allowed to be in charge. You are the parents and you should decide which parent does it. If he doesn't want to take it from your husband then he doesn't get it. It seems like this may be him asserting his independence and having the power to decide which parent does what. He seems to be fine with your husband when you are not there so he IS capable of being with your husband. I would be prepared to stand your ground, listen to his crying, and not let him call the shots. He'll eventually have to accept the fact that your husband will do things for him too!
I would also put him in time out for pushing away your husband and getting between you. You have to be a united front that this behavior is not tolerated!!
L.